Modern-day ninja in epic battle with riot police, robot A man who was plainly an invincible ninja warrior or similar tangled with police in Maryland recently. The sword-wielding scofflaw successfully resisted ordinary meatbag cops, a police robot, gassing with a "chemical agent" and a volley of low-velocity cosh projectiles from a SWAT team before finally succumbing to the crippling …
they just weren't considered the pinnacle of honour.
a proper ninja wouldn't *need* a gun, just the sword. or failing that, their sharp ninja senses could be used if no blade was to hand.
i agree he isn't a ninja because a ninja would have killed the swat team by deflecting their non-lethal projectiles back at them with lethal velocity using only ninja chi, crushing the cops' pathetic meat-encased skeletons, and subsequently disappeared in the confusion, covering their retreat with caltrops and a hail of shurikens.
doubtless had a real ninja be involved, either there would be no headline or it would read:
NINJA DECIMATES ENTIRE CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT
"he brought a sword to a gunfight, bemoans surviving multiple amputee"
Especially true for an American copper, all of those donuts would render most swords insufficiently long to inflict the necessary perforation of important organs.... they would just get swallowed by layer upon layer of blubber. At this point the nija would have to launch a devasting but accurate kick to push the sword further in but would probably end up with their feet encased in the large quantity of lard.
"the obstreperous Beach, whose evident proficiency with a sword and ability to shrug off the effects of robots, gas and riot-gun projectiles could easily be ascribed to mastery of one or more exotic Oriental combat philosophy disciplines."
Is this what the kids call beer today???
Also in order to qualify for "intent to murder in the second degree" in the USA you don't really need to hit someone with a katana (No legless or armless police were reported), you just look like you are going too.
'whose evident proficiency with a sword and ability to shrug off the effects of robots, gas and riot-gun projectiles could easily be ascribed to mastery of one or more exotic Oriental combat philosophy disciplines..'
Alternatively, perhaps he was as high as a kite on various illicit pharmaceuticals..
... that he doesn't live in Los Angeles. He's likely to have been killed immediately, and if that failed and he retired to his house the PD would have brought in their remote control loader and smashed his house to pieces around him to get to him ("and kill him").
...how a chain mail shirt would do against a taser? And could you create a feedback loop to send the charge back to the holder? hmmmmmmmm....
...why do they send a robot in to see if it doesn't have circular saws all over it so you can't mess with it? Robots are easy without some kind of self defense, just the application of a large enough hammer. Second thought: use a wireless jammer - thing just stops or they lose control of it - how interesting....
... pepper spray is what they use and believe it or not, you can get used to it. They don't use mace anymore due to possible permanent blinding and scarring from a liberal application.
... why a 12ga.shotgun beanbag round? They are notoriously hard to place a shot where it's most effective because their ballistic path cannot be predicted after 20 yards. Knee-knockers are hella more effective - six 40mm hardwood plugs in a gas gun that HURT and bounce all over a room striking everything at least once. Beanbags yes, knee-knockers no - I give up/take me in if I see/hear of a gas gun loaded with those things lol.
Good one though, I've been purposely avoiding what passes for the news lately - too damn depressing and then... from out of the blue....
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
god love Monty Python.... world's gone bloody crazy when they make more sense than wtf is going on nowadays.
...police managed to bust into bathroom...
Sorry, but this sounds very much like an ancient Czech joke about the Wehrmacht reports from Battle of Stalingrad.
"Monday: We took the hall.
Tuesday: After artillery barrage we took control of the kitchen.
Wednesday: With severe losses we stormed the living room.
Thursday: We invaded pantry, but were stopped by minefield.
At this rate we are down the toilet by end of the week..."
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