Spurned nonagenarian lets rip with semi-automatic

n/a

Not even a GMILF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc66EzWzM0o

Hell's Grannies!

Voice Over: This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenceless fit young men.

(Film of old ladies beating up two young men; then several grannies walking aggressively along street, pushing passers-by aside.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CStfT8gCrjM

Eh?

"Bettner concluded that he'd probably move house"

Or he could stay put on the assumption she is likely to pop her cloggs in prison.

I'll be back....

...after I have finished my knitting

Florida, eh?

Go figure.

I'm no longer surprised by any of the crazy shit that happens in that state.

When she finally pops her clogs...

...with the hunted become the haunted?

Another great example...

... of the wisdom of America's gun laws. You go and bear arms, Gran, and we'll see you in that well regulated militia necessary to the security of a free State. Yeeehah.

OMG!

So. Ok...

Using this precedent, The next time some crazy old fart comes up to me and slobbers "gis a kiss" (mental image No.1 - False Teeth, Drool and more wrinkles than a pack of sharpay's). I can then use the premise, to pull my Iron out and cap that bitches ass :D

America, land of the free (ly insaine), home of the brave (fools that choose to live there). Remind me never to move to the US!

She's been playing too much computer games

Specifically, Gran Theft Auto...

Hah. Amateur

She could have gotten off scot free if she had just chosen a different murder weapon. Like her car.

The usual way for the elderly employed as assassins to perform their jobs is to "forget" what the difference is between the accelerator and the brake, and plow into the person who has the hit taken out on him.

Wait - a new Mitsubishi 3000GT?

I've got to hand it to the bloke in the story, he has good taste in cars fit for young men less than half his age, half a decade ago, with a taste for performance and not a whole heaping load of cash, but... The Mitsubishi 3000GT (also sold as the Mitsubishi GTO and the Dodge Stealth,) was last produced in the year 2001.

So either that particular vehicle is equipped with such devices as a Mr. Fusion and a Flux Capacitor, he bought a car which had been sitting in a climate-controlled garage for a full decade, he recently purchased a used car and hence it was only new to his ownership, or the person who penned the article added the word "new" to it as if it's somehow less heinous to shoot up a person's old jalopy than to shoot up a brand-new car which is likely still under warranty.

Also, I'm not sure I see an IT angle - did one of the spurned woman's bullets bust up his computer, or perhaps she shot out the engine controller on his "new" Mitsubishi?