back to article Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Here we are again on iPhone day, and once more the world waits on the edge of its seat to see what the fruitchomp masterminds of Cupertino have in store. We'll tell you what they've got in store - and none of it's good. Without further ado, here are ten points you should ponder before you even think of buying a new iPhone 5. 1 …

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Anonymous Coward

I enjoyed the artical, if we can call it that, some of the points were pure nonsense to bump up the score to 10.

I think of the points, I only disagree with one out right, and one in part, I also think that a huge point has been missed.

Ok, hands up all those who have ever brought an additonal battary for their phones and the additonal dock that is required to charge. If you dont have a dock your phone takes twice as long to charge.

I have never purchased an additonal battary for any of the various phones I have owned, never having found it an impossible to either wait til I get home or too find a spare port/plug. Muppet.

The point about the hard corners, it sounds like the writer is an aspiring Steve Jobs, imposing their idea of good design. Of ALL the iphone designs, the one i like is 4.

The SD card slot is an issue, however, I think the advantage of the iphone is it works, from a users perspective very well, its not hard to understand, and while I run the risk of sounding condersending by adding a card slot their is more for the user to understand.

That being said I would rather have one than not, and the priece hike on the memory is stupid.

I think, rather than moan, about how bad the iphone is, perhaps a better a better plan is to recognise, its the hardware that makes the iphone better, its the thought that has gone into making it, "just work".

For the record I have an Android phone which nearly got replaced by a WebOs one as I fail to see why having more than five text messages should cause the database to fragment and to send my messages to the wrong people.

However with WebOs death I now have the choice of an iphone or android phone, which path should I chose, for which ever I do choose, forwever will it dominate my destiny.

And no Windows phone is not a choice, and never shall be.

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Never had a smartphone

but after reading that article I really fancy one now.

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Anonymous Coward

Updates

I originally wanted an Android... to dream of blue electric sheep...

Then I discovered that to fix the OS I'd have to do it myself via rooting etc.-- not that I can't but I really don't see the point with lots better things to do than fix a phone. With iPhone, I can just load a fixed/improved iOS (if the phone can support more power, same as would happen with Android).

Many of the non-iFanBois phones are simply flung out into the market and orphaned, never getting real support after some sucker has bought them. The mfg of the wannabes won't spend the cash. The last odious nail is Google plotting to wall off Android.

So, the way I see it, I can get the Jesus mobe with perhaps not heavenly support, but the chance to upgrade the iOS (without risking the Wrath of Jobs, or the carrier).

Or I could get an instantly obsolete lucifer mobe with "you-will-fry-in-Hades" before getting bug fixes and upgrades. Rowing across the River Styx just for a bug fix is a bit much.

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Linux

This is just about iHype

This is just about iHype.

The fact that a new iDevice has come out does not make your old iDevice suddenly worthless. You simply don't have to throw out the old one in a fit of conspicuous consumption. There is no need to help add to the local landfill and to the destruction of the planet.

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FAIL

Worst clickbaitin' dribble ever

This is way below your standards, El Reg. Completely pointless article.

iPhone has become mainstream, therefore it has lost most of its lustre. Android is for the hordes of Geeks who like to differentiate themselves by buying huge, ugly phones that nobody can tell apart. It is a pity that HP MURDERED WebOS as that was at least interesting in terms of interface design.

You know what is interesting? That NOKIA – of all people –  managed to give the N9 so much fashion allure. Apparently they are very, very serious about this device, and damn that thing is sexy. Looks like they actually managed to milk the innovation tree this time. It will get most interesting once they actually manage to ship that thing to some people. Of course the geeks and usual FUDers will bitch and moan about it being "stillborn" and whatnot – but hell, just let them buy another SAMSTC Ultra Nova GLX III and hand over all their data to Google. I'm too old to be bothered by what other people waste their time and money on. I just need something that works for me.

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Happy

Can't believe no-one else has said it!

Obvious Troll is Obvious

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Childcatcher

Flame proof underwear?

LP is clearly feeling brave today. 171 posts for and against already...

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Anonymous Coward

As moody as the missus...

Decorators in?

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FAIL

ELEVENTH REASON WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BUY AN IPHONE 5

There isn't one.

You should buy a 4S - just to annoy Mr Page.

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A solution

Lewis

How about you shut down all UK based companies with any involvement in phone development.

Would that make purchasing an American designed product more appealing?

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WTF?

Fixed batteries are fine if they survive the day...

I deserted the iphone camp after 23 months of ownership. My phone usage has steadily climbed over that period.

My iphone got taken off it's (really handy for music) dock at 6am. It would then die somewhere between 12 and 2pm depending on how busy my morning was, at which point the massive batey steadied to it's back would be turned on and it'd charge until about 3pm. I then turned the external battery off again and the iphone would then go flat at around 7pm. The external battery charged it again, and the phone would then make it to midnight, where it charged as I slept. If I went out, the phone would be dead and so would the external battery by 2am, when I would try to use it to get a taxi.

Samsung galaxy s2, batey died mid afternoon under my normal (heavy) use. Hmm. £8 later, the battery was doubled, and the original battery lives in a dedicated charger in my office for those times I forget to plug it's cable in and I.can swap the batteries in about a minute.

Iphone: 1" thick, dead by midnight, time to refill 240 minutes.

Sgs2: 0.5" thick, 20 hours, time to refill 0.5 minutes.

other problems more minor for me... storage (32gb for £30 in sgs2) or apps (what channel is that wifi? a: apple says you cannot make an app to tell you)

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Anonymous Coward

Nothing to add...

Except for

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Lewis, best buy one of those mirror on a stick thingies for checking under cars and seal up your letterbox...

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Mushroom

iPhone boring, every oik has one.

Just try getting a red 64Gb N9 if you want something exclusive.

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Paris Hilton

No such thing...

64GB N9s are all black.

Besides, it's not red, it's Paris Hilton Magenta.

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Happy

64Gb black...

... yes. I know.

You expect serious replies to a troll article?

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Trollface

Well I like the iPhone...

... mainly because it gives all of the fanbois something to do, which keeps them out of my sodding way. Release one every three months, I say!

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The number 1 reason, of course...

...is that it doesn't actually exist.

Nice one, El Reg, completely fucked it up this time.

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FAIL

if you'd be a real connoisseur as you pretend you wouldn't talk like this about it. i have tried all, and iphone is the best smartphone. not necessarily because of the hardware but because of the reliability, ecosystem and the apps (which are reasonably priced and useful).

i see the iphone as a great tool, not something i have to constantly tune and configure, that's the difference between apple users and the rest of the world - they simply use it without having to configure too much or having to know too much about the OS.

and I still work in my business on a windows machine and i have a wp7 phone. at home my wife uses only apple nowadays though and that's how i started to know what a life means where i can focus only on what i want to do not on the computer that helps me do that.

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FAIL

Well

I haven't read the comments yet, but I'm sure the true reason 1 - ie that it doesn't exist, has been pointed out.

As for the points in the article.

1: No Swappable battery. Weve heard this a lot since iPhone 2g, and lets be honest, it's the same old song and nobody cares - I've never heard of anyone buying a spare, but you can get one that plugs into the port if it's that critical. The times when you're away from a power socket are nowhere near as frequent as suggested in the article - I've been a heavy user with a single daily charge for some time. If this is the one reason baddest enough to reach number 1, then I dare to suggest it's proof that its the best phone on the Market.

2: no memory card slot: if you seriously need a few extra GB over 64Gb then I would suggest you have more of a problem with an indecisive user. Next.

3: Walled Garden. I don't see this as a bug, it's a feature and a bloody good one. First and foremost my phone needs to do it's core function - phone. When a device has critical functionality like that closededness (if that's a word) is not a bad thing. I don't want iFart having some obscure bug that knocks out the ability to phone, email and surf. Having a bug checkpoint seems to be the best way of doing this. There's a time and place for own do whatever you want, there's another time for closed. They are not doctrines where one must sunlit, theres a time and place for both.

4: good enough as phone. Next.

5 and 6: if I cared what other people thought, I'd be a much more boring person, how on earth did these even get on the list? Scrapeing the barrel there!

7: and Rolls Royces are more expensive than hyundais. Also add the cost of after sales support that tops the industry - both by phone and in store - where's your nearest HTX genius bar where they can diagnose and replace a faulty phone on the spot?

8: funny how you can cite a bad antenna design on a phone you clearly hadn't seen at this point. The antenna thing was overplayed - I could only trigger the drop occasionally when actively trying.

9: the screen is plenty big, I'm not going to gain anything from a few extra millimetres.

10 isn't even a reason not to buy one.

All in all the worst article I think I've seen on the register in about 10 years of readership. Lewis, what went wrong? Are you feeling okay? You usually write better than this!!

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Devil

Fanboy silliness

> and Rolls Royces are more expensive than hyundais.

It's an Apple product. IT IS NOT a Rolls Royce.

Get over yourself. You are just a poor prole.

If you walked in the door of a real luxury merchant you would be quickly walked back out again.

Apple sells the same crap as everyone else. Your upmarket babblings are pure fantasy.

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Pirate

right! is is NOT an overpriced British POS car...

it's a SMART phone that costs less than 13% of then giant, now has-been Motorola's smallest Dual Mode Analog/Digital FLIP PHONE:the Digital MicroTac Elite , not even adjusting for inflation!

That cost $1,500 in the early 1990's, which would be over $2,000 today.

So before you Apple H8TRS flap your cheeks with bowel gas, you'd better check your facts.

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Simply not true

Every Apple product I've ever used for 20 years has been among the best in class. The iPhone is no exception.

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Alert

@ Jeddidah

With the rolls comment I am merely pointing out that you can't compare brands blindly. A rolls is not a Hyundai, and an iPhone isn't a nokia; if you compare the prices blindly it may seem more expensive but when you look at the total value proposition - 5Gb cloud, locate phone fester, actual shops owned by the maker who can service/ replace the device for you rather than the "maybe a few weeks but we might have a crapy ancient loan phone we can give you" suddenly it looks a little different.

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Meh

Reason 6a John Bentley likes it!

Have you ever watched the tram smash that is a tech review on C5s the Gadget Show? Well, if not I think you'll be truely enlightened by watching Mr John Bentley test anything with an iPhone for comparison and then seeing him award 5Gs to the iPhone. Even in a scuba gear test!

It is truely mind blowing how badly this entertainment show can veer off track when his bulk is involved.

Sorry, a bit annoyed. Had a phone comparison flashback.

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JDX
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Phew

It's rather worrying and depressing how vitriolic people are, on both sides of the argument. Claiming that swappable batteries are not just unnecessary but bad because "then you have to charge them both when they're flat", etc.

Who can care so much about a phone?

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Linux

Make that 11.

Nokia N9 - it comes from a company that makes mobile telephones, so that side of it will work properly - it has a much nicer operating system - you can remove it's battery - you won't be a follower like all of the other iFanbois, or little robots, certainly no walled garden when you run a Linux distro on a Nokia (no money to pay to Microsoft in terms of patent infringments - it goes the other way!) - it has a big screen that goes to the outside of the box!! and finally - every one sold is a poke in the eye for that halfwit Stephen Elop who is trying to rape Nokia on behalf of his former master Gates.

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Childcatcher

The Inquirer ?

surely this is a new low for ElReg. The iPhone has never been announced and this "article" makes ElReg appear like a troll. probably a tactic aimed at getting attention but at what cost ?

This "author" has yet to learn from Bill Ray's "why the iPhone will fail and fail badly". I recon he was as right as this author will be.

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Unhappy

pffff

As a person who has owned, nay, endured a Sony Ericsson Walkman phone for the past 18 months...

* for which the external speaker went kaput after 6 months (no ring tone/alarm);

* for which it regularly wouldn't charge (even though it indicated that it was charging);

* for which upon the slightest touch on the headphone connector (remember this is a "Walkman" phone) would convince the phone that the headphones had been disconnected, stopping the music and displaying the question "Would you like to continue playback through the external speaker" (which of course didn't work)...

...ALL of this list seems laughably petty.

I almost feel like a starving pauper orphan witnessing an argument between two fatty-fat-fats over which is better - caviar or foie gras?

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Coat

oh, yes he is...

oh, yes he is!

he flits from phone to phone just like a butterfly

one day he's on Android

and the next day, IOS

'cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion!

.

the one with the copy of Village Green Preservation Society in the pocket, thanks.

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Wow, Didn't get a press invite AGAIN hey.

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WTF?

Not Actually that Great As A Phone & Stephen Fry Likes It are reason enough to avoid

iPhans don't buy Jobs' thingies to actually use, they buy them for flash or glam reasons. Any self-respecting person would NOT buy anything that was not working properly.

Anything the cretin Stephen Fry likrs should be warning enough. Send him a freebie (aka non-returnable sample) and he will promote it. Witness all the freebies from Apple.

They say One is born every minute. Now we can spot them - the people masturbating their iThingies.

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Anonymous Coward

Thanks Lewis, for the toilet paper

That's all tour article was good for!

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Happy

. . . on tour with an Ophone

I know, it's a sod, typing on the iPhone screen. That's why tou ahould get a superior phone with a bigger screen instead of tour uphone because then your post nighr nale dome sende.

Hey, Lewis: well done! Naked disgust is wunnerful! I just paid £259 for a HTC desire HD direct from HTC's UK distributor, Brightpoint, factory unlocked, no contract, manufacturer warranty until May 2012. I've put it on GiffGaff, can run on £5 PAYG without data or a tenner a month on unlimited data and no charge for calling any other Giffgaff user.

An extra battery and an additional 16GB micro SD are on their way from Amazon UK.

Quite why I never bought a locked-down over-hyped under-specced iPhone I've no idea. Silly me.

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Coffee/keyboard

Toilet paper?

I really, really hope you were reading the article on your iPhone when you decided to put it to that use...

Is that coffee on your keyboard?

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Trollface

Free iPhone lol

A number of colleagues still think the iPhone is the best and still harp on about getting it for free. Yep, free. If free, mean paying £50 per month for 2 years = £1,200 for a contract phone that is locked to one network. They did get several million minutes of call time, but only use a few hundred. I tried to sell them some other "free" stuff, but they didn't seem to get it.

Just bought a new Xperia £175, no contract, not locked, if I had another £1000 to spend on a phone, it still wouldn't be an iPhone ;-)

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The new business Model

There is a very very simple reason why the major brands of smart phone are locking out independant software app............ money........... upto last year Apple made a stagering 280billion $ out of it.............. far exceeding the phone sales or any other part of there operation. Micro Soft is attempting the same thing with their Windows Mobile 7 accessable only through ZUNE and is so locked down what you can do so that I could not even sync my contacts/calndar with my works MS exchange via ZUNE. It went back with in the 7 days returns policy. Android will follow suit, shortly to ensure that they maximise there revenue.

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Point 5 clinches it for me

I have nothing against Apple apart from the air of smug self satisfaction they breed into their consumers and always have. Apple products are lovely, but their users seem unable to see past the point that every product is just another little cash register for the company.

It's a bit like Eloi and Morlocks in HG Well's Time machine (you decide which is which where Apple people are concerned).

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Anonymous Coward

Freedom of choice?

So what. It's called freedom of choice.

If people want to buy an iPhone, then let them. It's their own choice. But I don't get why people get so bent out of shape about it. And why should you judge someone for their choice of phone?

If you are more geeky and want to hack everything into submission, then just buy another handset that gives you the things you want. If you don't want an iPhone, then don't buy one.

But you're all wasting your energy trolling each other about a sodding brand of phone when there are probably more important things to worry about.

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Bronze badge

"Mr Fry has earned his status as an official national treasure."

Actually I'd consider him more of a national trinket.

His Apple adulation comes, I suspect, from his adulation of Douglas Adams. Fry, quite rightly, venerates his late friend and Adams was a fan of all things Apple. However there are two things we should remember about Adams' relationship with the products of Apple; Firstly that he understood the technology and made good use of it; And secondly that he died before Apple jumped the shark.

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Bronze badge

One reason.

I only need one reason not to buy an iPhone: I don't want one.

No need to rationalise it, I simply don't want one.

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Anonymous Coward

Six pages of increasingly frothing-at-the-mouth comments in under 24 hours!

Well played Lewis!

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Smug

I feel almost as smug for not having bought an iPhone as the people who have. Everyone's a winner!

Apple is the Mercedes of computing - a car for people who don't really like driving.

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Mushroom

Lewis disses US tech?

That makes a change.

Of course, if it was nuclear powered he would be urging us all to buy one, and denying any risk of a melt-down...

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Anonymous Coward

I agree with all of it, especially the Stephen Fry and memory cards points. In terms of memory cards: it's ubiquitous functionality nowadays to let users expand their space. All my mobiles for many years have been able to take them. It's a disgrace to not allow it, frankly.

Something else that I don't think anyone's touched upon yet, and although it may be the same for other smartphones: the on-screen keyboard. Maybe it's cos I'm a bit dyslexic, but I make a mistake each second word I type on average; it's hideous. I much prefer hitting '7' four times to get an 's'.

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as a Phone its crap

Ive hated my iphone 4 since the day i bought it. Was so crap for making calls on. got a galaxy 2 instead.

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Facepalm

Clueless Midstream Media NEVER get the Apple formula, and never will

NUMBER ONE REASON YOU SHOULDN'T BUY AN IPHONE 5....

THERE ISN'T ONE YET!

Ignoring the Apple H8Ting reasons as they are juvenile,

ALL the other "missing" so-called features are WHY the iPhone is what it is.

If it had everything every other POS phone did, it would be just like every other overbloated phone.

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There is a +side to non removable battery

When it's left in a taxi, the driver can't disable your remote wipe by removing the batter.

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An ignoramus with a microphone is still an ignoramus

I don't know why people who have not really done their homework like to spout off facts as though they understood the relevance of them in the grand scheme of things. And in the internet age, where anybody and his brother can not only have an opinion, but share it with the masses, it just becomes so frustrating, or laughable, or I don't know what. Most of the time it's best to let it go, to ignore it, but this is The Register, which I really like to read a lot, and it's about the iPhone, a subject on which I consider myself very knowledgeable and experienced. So, ughhh, please forgive me while I address each of Mr. Page's 10 "reasons not to by an iPhone (5)" (which are really not reasons not to buy a 5 specifically, but an iPhone in general).

1. Every "smart phone/pocket computer" (which this really is) has this battery-life problem. The reason that Apple builds the battery in is actually a sound one. Did you know that they build the battery into their laptops also? The MacBook series does not have a removable battery either. Now why on earth would someone do that? Well, it's to save space and weight. If you have a standalone battery installed, you have the battery, the case that the battery is in. That case has contacts which must mate with contacts in a special reserved bay inside the device. If you do away with the ability to remove the battery, you do away with the need for a case, for the contact interface, and for the specific shape and reserved space for the battery. You can put the battery chemistry anywhere it'll fit, and it'll fit almost anywhere, around and sandwiched between other components. It's the best way to maximize battery life and minimize weight. It's a drag that the battery doesn't last longer, trust me I know! But it is what it is, and the phone would be larger and/or heavier if it did have a removable battery.

2. No memory card slot. Same argument applies here. Anything that needs to interface with an external standard-spec device (like a 3rd party battery or SD card) needs to have a physical interface, which adds weight and takes up space and adds a failure point. Omitting these interfaces, if you can get away with it, is a good idea. Apple was the first to do away with the floppy disk drive in its computers. They have long since focused on wireless communications as the way to get data back and forth, and it works in most cases. Their reliance on third party software to use the iPhone as an external hard drive is a bit mystifying, but still, life is short; you download what you need, and it works. Besides, I always seem to have hundreds of pictures and vids in my iPhone, a decent amount of music, and I have 7 email accounts set up on it, and I'm not running out of space.

3. One of the best and worst things about the iPhone - and for those who know, the Mac as well - is the "walled garden" issue. The good side is obvious: there are thousands of programs available on the Windows platform, and on other phones running other systems, that should not exist. They are abortions of code, a wart on the face of all users. They are garbage, and worse. So the fact that Apple has always managed to erect some kind of structure to manage the mayhem has been one of the biggest reasons that people love these computers and these phones, it's not some kind of cult or anything. It's because you know that every program that you can get onto the thing will have been looked at by someone who pretty much knows what to look for, and that means a lot! It's like the difference between getting your news from a consortium of vetted providers like CNN, NPR, BBC, New York Times, Financial Times, etc., rather than just doing a Google search for your daily news and going with whatever comes up. If you don't like that approach, then I guess you're just an anarchist who likes to buck the system at every turn, rather than just working with what works. As I said, life is short. Pick your battles.

4. Not that great as a phone. True. I've said many times that I love my iPhone for everything except making phone calls. But I suppose the fact that it is essentially my lifeline that I carry with me everywhere, with texting, email, contacts, calendar, language translation, currency conversion, weather, scientific calculator, dictionary, maps, voice recorder, and, yes, Facebook and YouTube, that I can also make phone calls with, well, it just offers the best combination of things that I've been able to find, in spite of its downside.

5. Not going to dignify this particular observation with further comment, except to question: what is that "demonstrably better gadget"? I haven't found it.

6. The fact that Stephen Fry likes - loves - the iPhone makes me go, "See?! I'm right about this!" Stephen is a great guy, very smart, sincere, focused, intelligent, besides being funny. He "gets" people, he is very approachable and discerning, flexible, dynamic, observant, respectful. All of the better qualities that I like to think that I possess as well, to greater or lesser degree. If someone like that did NOT like the iPhone, I would seriously begin to question my own ability to read people. The fact that he likes it means that all is well in my world view.

7. I spent something like five months without an iPhone when I inadvertently left mine on the subway. I didn't immediately get a new one because I was waiting for the 4 to come out (I had a 3). So I used a plain flip-phone for the interval. It was a rough period. It made me appreciate just what a device like this gives me, and it gives me so much that I consider the $200 that it cost to engage with AT&T on this subject worth doing. I am not happy with AT&T's service in NYC, or with their pricing, which is antagonistically high, but that's the case with any of the big carriers, and is nothing to do with iPhone vs, say, a Droid phone. So I think the price for what you're getting is fair.

8. Antenna problems in the design of the 4 were unfortunate. However, Steve Jobs' suggestion for a way to deal with it, was not so far off. If it "doesn't work when I hold it like this," then don't hold it like this. There are definite ways to work with it, and most of the time I don't think about it. I have it in a case, which I would not be without anyway. And just like a pen, or a cup of coffee, or a book, or a flashlight, or a circular saw, you have to hold it a certain way or it doesn't work. Grow up folks. What did I say before? Life is short. Get on with it.

9. You don't get much screen considering how big it is. Compare it to the Blackberry, which was the primary target. Case closed. Yes there are bigger phones with more screen real estate, but none as crisp and readable as this. I have looked at all, and have found none that are as nice as this.

10. Apple, as any retailer, learned its lesson about product pricing and stuck with it. The very first iPhone was overpriced, everybody knew it, and Apple lowered it, and even refunded half the difference that those early adopters paid. The price right now does not go up for each model; each one has been introduced at $199 for the regular model; this was true of the 3, the 3gs, the 4, and the 4s. What's the beef? Buy it now, and start taking advantage of the benefits, or you'll always be chasing the market.

All in all, Mr. Page's ignorance of the subject at hand is sad, for his sake, but the fact that he espouses his ill-researched views in a public forum like The Register is what made me respond to them here. I am not connected with Apple in any way, I have nothing to gain or lose by whether anyone agrees with me or not. But I know what I've got in the iPhone, I know that everyone I know who has one likes most of it, doesn't like the same things about it that I don't like, and thinks that it's better than what else is out there. Conversely, I don't know anyone who has a Droid phone, who is fully utilizing it to the extent that the iPhone folks are, who likes it at all. This is just my own personal universe, my observation. I have worked with the Droids and found them to be a hodge-podge of different ideas and philosophies and interpretations and executions. That's what the iPhone ISN'T, by and large, and it's what makes it the phone for me.

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FAIL

an ignoramus with an iphone is still an ignoramus

you could print this tedious fanboi rant on some sheets of paper, then use it to mop the frenzied foam from your mouth, the spittle from your desk and the crybaby tears of anger from your eyes.

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No fanboi here

Just FYI, I'm no fanboi. There's no need to be insulting. It wasn't a rant, there was no frenzy, no tears, no anger. You are ~seriously~ not a good reader-between-the-lines if that's what you came away from my carefully and patiently thought-out response with.

I'm not a fanboi, I'm a 30-year veteran IT professional who has worked with every major type and many instances of computer since the mid-1970's. I've been a programmer, a manager, a consultant, I've worked in application development, network administration, web development, general communications and phone systems.

I'd like to ask you, sir: what are your credentials?

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