back to article WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Prime Minister David Cameron will today gaily announce that Brit adults will be forced to ask their ISP for permission to view web grumble flicks. The system will also ensure people typing in "abhorrent search terms" for stuff online will receive a "warning" along with some helpline numbers - although a former child protection …

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      1. g e

        Re: Surely ISPs are all for this really.

        Lovedrive at a guess?

        1. cmgangrel

          Re: Surely ISPs are all for this really.

          Virgin Killer if i remember correctly

      2. BongoJoe
        Childcatcher

        Re: Surely ISPs are all for this really.

        I woner if I will be able to look at images of the Blind Faith album cover which, even in the 70s, I found rather creepy.

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Time to fire up those always on VPN tunnels to Russia.

  2. g e

    Fixed it for you, David

    the "corroding" influence of The British Government on the hearts and mind of young Britons

  3. Don Jefe

    Public Servants Filtered?

    Will employees of the Crown (or government, however you guys break it down) still have filters on by default or will the default filtering only apply to peasants and vassals?

    1. g e
      Holmes

      Re: Public Servants Filtered?

      They'll have the inverse filter.

      Only kink and kiddie porn.

  4. g e
    Mushroom

    The ISPs have rewired everything

    Like every device in your house has a separate bloody internet connection from your ISP.

    Further evidence that that utter twunt and dangerous jackass Cameron has fuck all clue what he's talking about.

    Or is intentionally spouting lies and bullshit.

    Or most likely BOTH

    1. alain williams Silver badge

      Re: The ISPs have rewired everything

      "Like every device in your house has a separate bloody internet connection from your ISP."

      That is called IPv6 -- every device has it's own unique address.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The ISPs have rewired everything

        No, it's referring to the nastiness being blocked at network level (by the ISP) rather than, in previous incarnations, an installed application at device level.

        Norton Family, PGSurfer et all are all reliant on the application ON the device doing the filtering. Which means it's there to be fiddled with, bypassed and removed by kids than almost always know parents passwords for things.

        I'm not saying this will be any more effective (as anyone trying to stop school kids getting on facebook).

        Anywho, you're reading too much into it. ISPs won't be ready for the jump over to IPV6 just yet, definitely not all of them.

        He simply means no "filth" will be allowed by the ISP (and therefore "on every device in your house") rather than a piece of software having to be put on every laptop, tablet, PC and smartphone, console etc in the building.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        But nobody uses IPv6 yet.

        According to http://www.google.com/ipv6/statistics.html#tab=per-country-ipv6-adoption, UK usage of IPv6 is running at around 0.13%.

        In the real world, practically all UK home ISP connections are NAT'd IPv4, and hence all share a single IP address (most ISP's will only DHCP you a single address anyway), so network filters will still, as they always have, automatically "cover any device connected to your home internet account".

        Nothing has been "rewired", there has been no "step forward", and Cameron is telling a bare-faced lie.

      3. davidp231
        FAIL

        Re: The ISPs have rewired everything

        "That is called IPv6 -- every device has it's own unique address."

        Separate address yes, but it still goes through the same router, so no, they don't have a separate connection to the internet, unless they happen to be sat on different wifi stations, or running off mobile data.

    2. davidp231

      Re: The ISPs have rewired everything

      "Or is intentionally spouting lies and bullshit."

      That's part of the day job of a politician isn't it?

  5. Eradicate all BB entrants

    I like how they state .....

    .... that some recent child murderers looked at porn before committing heinous crimes is good enough reason to bring the block in. So basically they are happy to use legislation to tar millions of people with the evil child molester brush by association (a percentage of probably 0.000001 of the population), but are disgruntled when we class all politicians as money grubbing thieving useless incompetents because the majority of them abused expenses.

    How about this for a FOI request? Before this is made live they publish the browsing history of every serving MP and Member of the Lords for us all to see they are as squeaky clean and wholesome as they expect us to be.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I like how they state .....

      Oooh I like that.

      I'd love to see the sort of requests Westminster browsers have been making.

    2. billse10
      FAIL

      Re: I like how they state .....

      "How about this for a FOI request? Before this is made live they publish the browsing history of every serving MP and Member of the Lords for us all to see they are as squeaky clean and wholesome as they expect us to be."

      Don't forget the same for every single person working for the responsible ministries, every single person who will have access to the list of banned stuff, every single person who will have access to any record of who browsed what, and every single law enforcement, security service or other employee / contractor who will have access to any data whatsoever generated by the filtering.

      Oh, and make MPs who vote for it pay for the whole stupid thing out of their own pockets.

    3. Anonymous Coward 101

      Re: I like how they state .....

      Clair Perry MP argued '...filters would make a difference, saying that the killers of schoolgirls April Jones and Tia Sharp had accessed legal pornography before moving on to images of child abuse.'

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23401076

      That is a sinister and weird thing to say.

      1. John G Imrie

        Re: I like how they state .....

        the killers of schoolgirls April Jones and Tia Sharp had accessed legal pornography before moving on to images of child abuse.'

        They also breathed in Oxygen while killing the girls. We should ban Oxygen.

        1. Nigel 11
          Boffin

          Re: I like how they state .....

          Yes, they don't have a clue about the difference between correlation and causation. In the 1950s correlation famously "proved" (not!) that watching TV caused lung cancer. TV sets of that epoch gave out quite a lot of X-rays, percentage of households with a TV was rising fast, lung cancer was rising fast, so not a silly suggestion. But the real culprit was increasing affluence causing increasing cigarette consumption as well as increased TV sales.

          With porn there is not even any correlation. The availability of porn has surely risen at least tenfold in the last decade. The incidence of ghastly assaults on children has not. Probably it has not increased at all, once one allows for increased reporting. The same is likely true of rape. So this appears to be evidence that perverts are NOT created by watching porn, and that the money which is about to be wasted by ISPs would be much better used to increase funding for child protection and victim support agencies.

        2. Tim Jenkins

          Re: I like how they state .....

          and in the first instance, the convicted person had a recording of a segment from "The Last House on the Left", presumably recorded via Sky (judging by the reference to "when it was repeated on the +1 channel" made during the case).

          "As the 47-year-old was found guilty of April’s abduction and murder, it can be disclosed that when police first searched his cottage last year they discovered he had recorded the rape scene from the 2009 remake of The Last House On The Left.

          Bridger, from Ceinws, who hoarded hundreds of images of child pornography, recorded the scene where a young teenage girl is raped by a leader of a gang in front of his gang-mates, who hold the victim down while she is attacked.

          He recorded the same scene a second time when it was repeated on the +1 channel an hour later.

          Bridger’s own barrister Brendan Kelly QC described the scene as ‘distressing’, while prosecutor Elwen Evans QC dubbed it ‘significant’ for the case.

          She said Bridger had watched the rape scene ‘not long before’ whatever happened to April.

          April’s body has never been found, despite the largest search operation in the history of British policing.

          ‘This is not just the playing of a rape scene on television,’ she said during the five-week trial. ’That particular rape scene had been recorded twice. A deliberate action to capture the most distressing aspect.’

          (http://metro.co.uk/2013/05/30/revealed-mark-bridger-watched-brutal-rape-scene-twice-before-murdering-april-jones-3820865/)

          A major corporation allowing subscribers to choose to view violent sexual content in their homes? Perhaps Mr Cameron should

          "...lay down the law after taking charge of a drive to end the stream of vile and extremist material...". His intervention is in response to a campaign by The Sun to halt the flow of filth.'

          http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/politics/4961201/Web-war-by-sickened-PM.html

          Now, if only Number 10 knew someone who had some influence at BSkyB...

        3. robmobz
          Joke

          Re: I like how they state .....

          They had probably consumed dihydrogen monoxide recently too. we should block that just in case.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I like how they state .....

        MP says "sinister and weird thing."

        That is not news, any more than News 24 broadcasting nonsense from outside a hospital all b****y day long as news.

    4. dephormation.org.uk
      Stop

      Re: I like how they state .....

      Already been done;

      www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2276344/Adultery-website-Out-Town-Affairs-received-52-000-hits-seven-months-Parliament-computers.html

      It would appears MP's communications are being filtered and monitored by an unnamed 'third party', thought to be Bluecoat in California, with URLs being categorised, analysed, and censored (even if legal).

      See also;-

      https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/surveillance_of_internet_use

      Sadly. the pres (including the Register) won't report it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I like how they state ..... / whatdotheyknow.com

        Thanks for posting the link to whatdotheyknow.com - well worth anyone's time to read that, the submitter ("P.John") should be up for some kind of award if he does much more of this kind of thing !

        He makes the interesting point about the sovereignty of Parliament - no-one, not even Parliament, should be interfering - in any way - with Members' communications.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Come on, who googles "child porn" anyway? That's like walking down the High Street saying "I'd like to buy some drugs".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      not necessarily

      i guess searching for the term is no kind of proof of a desire to actually view it and "get off" on it. somebody could simply be looking for more information on the phenomena, or looking for a definition, or trying to find a previous article about it, or any number of things. this is the problem - that everybody is terrified of being labelled a paedophile and will likely alter their (completely normal and legal) browsing habits, just in case something they unwittingly do lands them in serious trouble - and it is extremely serious - life ruining stuff, potentially for doing absolutely nothing wrong. it's totally designed to cater to the worst kind of daily mail/sun reading hypocrite, who labels everyone a "pedo" and orates loudly down the local on the subject, using terms like "evil scum" frequently, all whilst secretly fancying the 14 year old girl next door.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      FAIL

      Banning specific search terms

      If the pædo networks don't already have their own version of Polari, they soon will have...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Banning specific search terms

        "If the pædo networks don't already have their own version of Polari, they soon will have..."

        P2PBSH. Baltimora.

    3. Asylum Sam

      That's like walking down the High Street saying "I'd like to buy some drugs"

      Once did just that in Bournemouth town center, , took all of 50 yards and three or four repetitions before the offers started coming in.

    4. Tom 38
      Coat

      That's like walking down the High Street saying "I'd like to buy some drugs".

      Works in Camden and Brixton. Allegedly.

    5. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Michael 28
    Coat

    There'll be a few open letters on fetlife about this.

    Remember some <cough> of the <cough> honourable membership have day jobs.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/february/8/newsid_2538000/2538165.stm

    ....allegedly.

    Mine's the one covering the suspension harness.

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: There'll be a few open letters on fetlife about this.

      That's one of those security-services related 'suspicious deaths' that may have had a helping hand. A bit like the guy who zipped himself into a holdall

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meanwhile the Tories favourite paper will still be able to run the 'Sidebar of Shame', stalk Suri Cruise and run 'all grown up' stories of teenage girls in swimwear on a daily basis.

  9. Red Bren
    Childcatcher

    I'm more concerned by the "corroding" influence of David Cameron on the hearts and mind of young Britons.

  10. Crisp

    It's like an opt-in internet sex offenders register

    Cameron's got a list,

    He's checking it twice,

    He's going to find out who's naughty, and naughty,

    Cameron's come to pilfer your porn.

  11. Ben79
    Black Helicopters

    "First they came for the wankers..."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      ... and made them all MPs

  12. 02X7Cm
    Facepalm

    Censorship from the BBC

    I was about to post the BBC, written my comment, then found that they just disabled the comment system. Looks like self-censorship already started over there over the censorship of porn.

    1. Shrimpling

      Re: Censorship from the BBC

      The BBC close any comment section that doesn't agree with their point of view or makes them look bad.

      I'm surprised they opened the comments for the story in the first place, I guess they thought the comments would all be "great idea".

  13. Bluenose

    Get ready for the knock on the door

    So the nice new screen pops up and as an ordinary single adult who occasionally likes to look at the odd bit of lesbian porn or maybe a few MILF videos you select let me see it. What is wrong with that all nice and easy and your access is allowed.

    A couple of months later a child goes missing in your area. You get a knock on the door. Can you tell me where you were at whatever time o'clock sir/madam? Do you have an alibi, can we take a DNA sample, can we take your car down to forensics? And other such questions like that. The single adult is of course a bit bemused as to why this is happening and does not realise that by admitting that they like a bit of porn has put them on to the nice list that the police maintain about sex offenders in their area. When they find out the registered perverts who was arrested and presecuted for peering through a little hole in to the women's changing room could not be responsible, they have moved on to all the porn watchers.

    Meanwhile the b*****d who has actually taken the child has committed their dastardly deed, filmed it and posted it to the nice file storage system hosted by a friend in Russia/Cambodia/any other country where this is minimal technical controls using an encrypted peer to peer network routed via one or more anonymous proxy sites and then let his other friends know where they can get it.

    Of course this ignores the fact that most kids don't look at porn very often and that most abuse takes place by people close to the child.

    PS based on the experience of someone I know, I now expect the Police to come and find me to charge me with telling pornographers and child abusers how to get around the law!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Get ready for the knock on the door

      can we take a DNA sample?

      and you say, "no, actually, you can not"?

      And they say: "oh, well, it's all right then, sorry about asking"?

      I bet they do! ;)

  14. g e
    Alert

    I wonder if 'Bianca Beauchamp' will be a banned term

    Enjoy.

    Or not.

    As you please while you yet have a choice ;o)

  15. alain williams Silver badge

    Theatre

    It just adds to the costs of ISPs, etc.

    It is related to the 100ml limit on water taken through an airport -- supposedly to stop people making bombs on airplanes, but not really effective. What it does mean is that the politicians are seen to be doing something.

  16. AndrueC Silver badge
  17. Anonymous Blowhard

    In other news

    Scunthorpe and Penistone are looking to rename themselves

  18. TheBeardyMan

    Censorship is a crime

    Censorship - one of the few crimes that a government can commit against which switching sides on them in a conflict they're involved in (I won't stoop to using the politicians' weasel word "treason") is a justified and proportionate retaliation.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    People are also missing off the news that Cameron wants the IWF to become "proactive" in searching out obscene materials in which to add to their list... essentially creating a morality censor which operates under quite a bit of secrecy.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Please hurry up

    Searching "typical Tory" on Google images still returns material that I can only describe as abhorrent and obscene. My 9 year old caught a glimpse and I had to explain that the image was of the education minister; he now lives behind the sofa and refuses to go to school in case he's caught out by a snap departmental photo op, and my wife is threatening to leave me, claiming I'm a Tory sympathiser and closet canvasser.

    Help!!

    1. mad_dr
      Joke

      Re: Please hurry up

      "I had to explain that the image was of the education minister; he now lives behind the sofa and refuses to go to school in case he's caught out by a snap departmental photo op"

      Hiding behind the sofa - check!

      Refusing to go to school in case of being spotted - check!

      Yep - that sounds like Michael Gove alright!

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