back to article NASA chief: Earth is DOOMED if we spot a big asteroid at short notice

Billions of dollars are needed to keep the Earth safe from asteroids like the one that smashed into Russia last month, experts have told the US government. Planetoid crashes into primordial Earth While NASA has made good progress cataloguing nearly 93 per cent of larger Near-Earth Objects (NEOs), smaller meteorites like the …

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  1. Crisp

    We'd be just as doomed

    If we didn't spot an incoming hunk of rock.

  2. Mr F&*king Grumpy
    Happy

    Well, just don't look then

    "Earth is DOOMED if we spot a big asteroid at short notice"

    So, if we don't spot it, we're ok ? Fab.

    1. John Deeb
      Joke

      Re: Well, just don't look then

      As long as we don't look, the impact will have happened and not-happened at the same time. Perhaps we need then to invest in devices which help us to look LESS. Maybe we could dig very deep holes in the ground to stick all our camera's, devices and antenna's in and even bury them. We ourselves could permanently look underground, remove any senses from the surface and it will be all right. Or at least for ever uncertain.

      1. Jediben
        Devil

        Re: Well, just don't look then

        Ironic really, as digging very deep holes and learning how to survive in them would probably be our best shot at surviving the impact of such an asteroid which we are deliberately trying NOT to see!

    2. C 18

      Re: Well, just don't look then

      Or if we do spot it I would suggest setting up stall selling towels and be doing the praying that the big ass tried is of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal persuasion.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well, just don't look then

      "So, if we don't spot it, we're ok ? Fab."

      Why do you think we all carry towels around? Obviously, they're to cover our eyes when we're tempted to peek upwards.

  3. Sport Monkey
    Devil

    Following LOHAN...

    I recommend El Reg create an ofshoot called The IT Technicians Yard to make Tactical Asteroid Shooting Superpower Laser Equipped Satellites

  4. MisterB
    Coat

    If'mconfused (as always, this is not unusual by the way). How do they know they have found 93% of them? The article says there are another 70. How do they know this figure if they can't find them and don't know where they are?! !

    1. The lone lurker

      It's based on estimations and models of what should be left after the Solar system formed and has been ticking over for the last 4.6 billion years.

      Short answer is: They're guessing.

      1. Jediben
        Trollface

        Not even as innocent at that - they're making up a number that theyhope will give the impression that while they do a VERY GOOD JOB with their current resources, there is still a measurable improvement (which is not an unreasonably large amount as to suggest they are not doing very well, but enough to make it worth investigating whether this improvement can be met) that could be gained if they receive MORE MONEY.

        FUD 101 - suggest could be much worse if you weren't here, and even better if you pay me more, but completely theoretical and unproveable in all instances.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      It's the law of averages...

      X amount of rocks coming into and out of view, assorted sizes and directions, in a given volume of space.

      Multiply the amount of rocks, a given period of time, a general volume of space.....

      Like catching fish in a given volume of ocean.

      IF there are X fish in Y volume of ocean, then a sample of say 10% of that volume, would give an average for the whole volume in any other area.

      Comforting to know about the ones you don't know about, are not equipped to do anything about or things like the odd big one that just kind of snuck in there....

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    Politician Makes Profound Statement

    "The smaller they are, the harder they are to spot,......"

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Politician Makes Profound Statement

      But enough about willies; let's talk about asteroids...

  6. MrXavia
    Mushroom

    Surely protecting the planet from asteroid impacts is one of the most important things we could spend money on?

    I don't get why the nations with Space Expertise Faring nations don't just get together on this...

    The UK spends £1Billion a year on overseas aid, we give a fortune to India... Lets STOP giving that money to countries with the money to look after themselves and start spending it on space!

    If the UK, China, Japan, Russia, USA & lets not forget the rest of the ESA contributing countries, just worked together on this, each bung in a couple of hundred million.... and then start building a decent detection network!

    Then maybe once we know what is out there, we can start looking at solutions to prevent impacts...

    If we don't all stop bickering and start working together, the human race might be extinct in 100 years time!

    1. Dave the Cat

      Great Idea, I'm onboard, but...

      Sadly Sir, you've applied logic and reason to where little or none exists!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But people don't care about "the human race"

      There's no rational reason why people should care about how long the human race survives. People aren't rational, of course, but by and large they still don't care much.

      Therefore, any solution to prevent asteroid impacts had better be cheap enough to be justifiable in terms of the benefit it brings to individual tax payers. That may well be possible, but proponents must come up with some plausible numbers. What are the chances of an asteroid impact injuring me or my immediate family? How much money do you need to significantly reduce those chances?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      @ MrXavia

      "The UK spends £1Billion a year on overseas aid"

      Oh not it doesn't. David Cameron has committed to spending thirteen billion quid on foreign aid this year. Most of that will go through DFID, but there's a few billion of it frittered through contributions to charities, EU aid funds, and directly to international quangos ("multilateral agencies" as the government calls them).

      http://www.ifs.org.uk/budgets/gb2012/12chap7.pdf

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      In short, it they don't consider the cost of sufficient benefit. For example, why does the UK suffer so much when it snows a bit? Because the cost of 'anit-snow defences' isn't worthwhile given the relatively low risk of snowfall.

    5. Psyx
      Facepalm

      "The UK spends £1Billion a year on overseas aid... Lets STOP giving that money to countries with the money to look after themselves.... If we don't all stop bickering and start working together, the human race might be extinct in 100 years time!"

      Oooh, irony: I see what you did there!

  7. NomNomNom
    Black Helicopters

    If US government won't fund an asteroid gun that only proves they don't need an asteroid gun. Probably because they know the reptilians who now control the shadow government will not allow an asteroid to damage the Earth they want to inherit. They'e already installed obama as a test of our resolve and put sterilization drugs in our vaccinations and water supply (not mine I only drink Dr Pepper), so now we are in the end game.

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      "...I only drink Dr Pepper"

      With the added advantage that your arse can now repel any reptilian overlord who comes within a 3 foot firing range.

      NO, PULL THE OTHER FINGER!!!

  8. Burbage

    Doomed

    "If it's coming in three weeks ... pray," Bolden replied. "The reason I can't do anything in the next three weeks is because for decades we have put it off."

    Decades? It's been at least three thousand years and, if the evolutionists are right, nearer three million. The last strike of any consequence might arguably have wiped out all the dinosaurs, but nobody can seriously argue that had any significant deleterious effect, economic or otherwise. Yet, in the meantime, human populations have been decimated by successive plagues and famines and, just within the last century, we've managed to flatten a few cities with no help from outer space.

    If the US really wants to save the world, its money would be better spent on surgical masks, instant noodles and better weapons.

    1. NomNomNom

      Re: Doomed

      "It's been at least three thousand years and, if the evolutionists are right"

      they're not. Earth rotates in a simultaneous 4 day time cube

  9. bearded bear can
    Mushroom

    An explorer from a distant world

    might, many eons from now, discover signs of a previous civilization on this planet, gone extinct by a huge meteor blast, and conclude that the dumbasses spent their resources on building expensive weaponry aimed at each rather than focusing on getting off their rock and into space. - "What a stupid excuse for intelligent life! Serves them right."

  10. AndrueC Silver badge
    WTF?

    cataloguing nearly 93 per cent

    Out of curiosity - how do they know it's 93%? Surely that implies that you know exactly how many there are in the first place?

    1. Psyx

      Comment on prior page explains this for you.

  11. Bryan Hall
    Happy

    Just warp them through

    Don't we learn anything from Sci-Fi? Instead of blowing them up (making even more problems), or trying to move their path - just warp them through the earth.

    All we need is a small spacecraft with warp technology and... Hey Jeff B, let's get going on this!

    1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Just warp them through

      "Hurry up Carter. I can see my house from here"

  12. Anonymous John

    And there are comets.

    SL-9 hit Jupiter nearly twenty years ago, and Mars gets a near miss next year.

    1. Rattus Rattus

      Re: And there are comets.

      "SL-9 hit Jupiter nearly twenty years ago"

      Oh great. Thanks for making me feel so very old, suddenly.

  13. Jim McCafferty
    WTF?

    Kerching

    Asteroid heading towards earth - "Don't worry folks, we've had it on the radar for months. Nothing to see here. We're definitely not incompetent."

    Asteroid passes the earth - (Hang on there's the opportunity for some funding here). "Yeah, Earth's detection systems are woefully inadequate - we need lots of more cash now. Before you spend it all on healthcare."

  14. david 64
    Stop

    Simple

    Save the Cheerleader.....

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Forget asteroids. A star could go supernova at any point. It could obliterate our solar system. Our Galaxy could collide with another, destroying the entire, well, um, galaxy.

    Likewise, risk vs probability vs cost etc. Some of these things might happen, some of these things might happen millions or billions of years from now. Some of our actions might be able to reduce their occurrence. However, much easier than trying to stop an asteroid, trying to stop the self destruction of a star or trying to stop the collision of two galaxies, is just trying to be as self sufficient as possible.

    Don't go exploding your own back yard, and you'll have at least one less thing to destroy your back yard. Change the things you can change first, and not waste resources on things that don't give a return.

    An example would be, trying to move the planet to avoid an asteroid. When really it's much more achievable to move the asteroid out of the way of the planet. Taken a step further, it's much easier to move people away from an impact site than it is to move an asteroid. Taken even further, if we spent less time trying to harm each other, there would be more time to spend trying to move asteroids, move people etc.

  16. Bill Neal
    Unhappy

    Priorities

    I'm sure it has been said already, but it is quite depressing to know that the U.S. spent more on the bank bailout than the entire history of NASA's budget. Too bad there isn't enough money in space for NASA to have it's own lobbyists. Too bad our gov is more interested in profit than pure research in general.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Earth isn't doomed

    We are, but Earth will still be here.

  18. jarjarbinks
    WTF?

    So are we safe from the big ones for a long while?

    Since they are tracking 90% of 1 mile+ sized asteroids... other than the 10% we're not sure about yet.. is there any in the nexty sa 100 years that are going to impact us?

    I agree with a previous post, Leftwinger wrote about how there are plenty of countries, that if pooled together, could easily mass billions right now with minimal impact on their budgets. Shoot, I read that 212 more people made it to the billionaire list in 2012. If I had a 100 million, I'd like to donate 1 million to help. With 1000's of people earning that kind of money if not way more, why not put out some sort of tax writeoff to fund this project? I mean, think about it.. next to some sort of crazy disease, nucelar war.. there really isn't anything else that we know of that would wipe use out so quickly and easily. Why is it those in power always seem to not give a crap about anything well..frankly, of utmost importance to the existence of.. us? Do they have some super secret space ship they get to live in if the world is about to end so they don't care? I don't understand how something of such importance can be overlooked for the sake of money.. with which they could easily get 100x the needed amount to get this going in the next couple of years, not 20+.

  19. ecofeco Silver badge
    Trollface

    There was suppsoed to be a gaint "kaboom"

    Why isn't the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator working?

  20. Twitless
    Coat

    There's only one real solution

    As long as we are confined to one planet, then something will eventually wipe us out. War, super viruses, pollution, meteors, a nova - it is just a matter of time before something does the job. Self-sufficient colonies on other worlds are the best, and the only real, chance we have.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Of course

    This would be a perfect time to "repurpose" those spare multi-megaton nukes that the USA, Russia and China can't seem to dispose of into an Orion aka "nuclear pulse jet" asteroid nudge system.

    No need to drill into said asteroid, just impact it off axis at 0.05C and the inertia will do the rest.

    Simplez!

  22. Alan Firminger

    How can the quoted chances be known

    The NASA website tells us that comets have orbits that extend up to millions of years : http://pds.jpl.nasa.gov/planets/special/smbod.htm .

    I am not surprised, all things are possible up to the extreme of the sun's gravity. It is a long way to our second nearest star.

    Loose rocks in space can have the same extremely elliptical orbits. From the limited sample af recent observations nobody can have the faintest idea what is out there, and could arrive on this planet within a few months of discovery.

    1. Tequila Joe

      Re: How can the quoted chances be known

      I dunno, but which do you think is easier to model:

      - the complex interactions of a system with unknown variables where new items are frequently popping up,

      OR

      - a set of numbers which would be effective for marketing and seeking funding?

  23. Tequila Joe
    Alien

    Solve it the way we always do IT

    Outsource the job to aliens who claim to have the advanced technology to have done it already! Simples, and big bonuses for the board!

    SPLAT!

    Hey Klarg, have we got a backup we can restore from?

  24. mr.K
    Facepalm

    Cereal?

    Is this cereal?

    I can't tell if this should be joke-tagged or moron-tagged, hard to know on the internet.

  25. praos

    A 1 km stone would be a planet-saver. By exterminating resources-gobbling human vermin, it would indefinitely postpone the oil-peak. Pray, Greenpeace, pray.

  26. John Angelico

    Hasn't anyone considerd...

    ...transferring all that money to the Vogons and asking them

    a) to relocate the hyper-space bypass just far enough out of original path to take out putative asteroid (say 5% of required total bribe err, development fund)

    b) to PLEASE not recite any of their poetry (remaining 95% of funds).

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Arthur C Clarke

    Had this covered in a Hammer from God. All you need to do is pop a big f**k off rocket on the thing, while it's somewhere between Neptune and Jupiter, to deflect it and hope that a bunch of religious lunatics don't sabotage said rocket.

    If plan A fails, try to nuke it and remember to set the timer right on the big f**k off bomb you send towards it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Arthur C Clarke

      I'd love for someone to explain why my post got down-voted? Did I get the plot synopsis wrong?!

  28. You have not yet created a handle
    IT Angle

    "NASA believes it has discovered 93 per cent of the largest asteroids in near-Earth orbit, those one kilometre or larger. But what about the other seven per cent remaining"

    If NASA believes that's it's discovered 93% of the largest asteroids, and therefore must know that there are 7% more out there, doesn't this mean they have discovered 100% of the largest asteroids?!

  29. Syx

    Question

    How reliable is the "93%" figure quoted, if some slip through the net? Surely there are those that slip through and we fail to detect entirely?

    1. Syx
      FAIL

      Re: Question

      Ignore me I didn't realise there were three pages of comments before posting...

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