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back to article So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Our piece last week on Eddie Murphy's cinematic train-wreck A Thousand Words - a possible nominee for the worst film ever - had El Reg commentards queuing up to recount their celluloid nightmare experiences. And chilling reading it made, to be sure. Inspired by your litany of cinematic shame, we've decided to run a poll this …

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Re: Plan 9 From Outer Space

Plan 9 is very funny, especially when you are in a cinema with 400 late night bad movie aficionados.

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Sunshine

Biggest pile of drivel I have had the misfortune to watch

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MJI
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Re: Sunshine

I thought it was OK and quite watcheable

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The soundtrack alone makes 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' too good to be anywhere near this discussion.

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I have 2

the first fuilm i would like to nominate is Superman Returns. even thinking about this film puts me tyo sleep

My Second Nomination would have to be Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

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Re: I have 2

I'll give you S.R. I only watch it for the plane rescue scene. The rest of it was dull as hell.

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The Quest

Jean-Claude Van Damme's lowest point, which is really saying something. Somehow Roger Moore got dragged in for the worst cameo appearance ever too.

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Re: The Quest

That was awful, but the producers must have thought they could do a better Street Fighter/Mortal Kombat movie, but couldn't get the license. I thought the tournament part of the movie wasn't too bad.

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well of recent times, i think the green hornet

but for all time worst, i'm torn between swinging barmaids and supervan.

salo was terrible as well i thought, but it apparently has some merit somewhere.

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so many options

Salo - nothing but snuff dressed in a freedom of expression dirty mac.

Salt - because it is just abysmal

Dancer in the dark

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Stop

Avatar

Utter tripe.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Avatar

I never agree with u on much but here you have respect.

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Re: Avatar

Fuck, I sort-of agree with Barry.

It's not the worst, but it is Pocahontas for Furries and as such should be ritually burned.,

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Re: Avatar

Fuck, I agree with Barry for once myself. I hated that fucking movie. It reminded me of alot of modern video games, style with zero substance and very thinly veiled political agenda.

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Happy

Re: Avatar

I never thought I'd vote you up! Seems like the meds are working for you ;)

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Mushroom

Igby Goes Down

Igby Goes Down. Not even the ohsopretty Claire Danes could save that one. I was chatting with my girlfriend ages back and she mentioned Igby Goes Down. I said I hadn't seen it- she pointed out that we'd watched it together. The film was so bad my mind had attempted to scab over the entire viewing experience.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Igby Goes Down

"A grumble flick? With Clare Danes? Bingo!"

What disappointment when I did a search on IMDB...!

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FAIL

Highlander the source = complete and utter tripe.

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Devil

Avatar

A competitor in its own right, of course, but in terms of goodness per currency unit it must beat anything else into dust.

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MJI
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Re: Avatar

haven't seen it yet - looks a bit silly, and I like SciFi.

Are they giant Smurfs?

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Re: Avatar

Wasn't that the big budget Pocahontas remake?

I quite enjoyed it in a 'leave your brain' at the door sort of way.

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Facepalm

Macho Woman.

A Troma Films spectacular. Tagline: Born to shop, she learnt to kill.

Even by their own "so bad its good" standards, its a stinker.

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I'd like to nominate Moulin Rouge, although (bizarrely) apparently a lot of other people liked it.

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Paris Hilton

Definitely Moulin Rouge.

I amazed myself by actually watching some of Mamma Mia without resorting to self-harm, and Baz Luhrman's take on Romeo and Juliet is impressive. But Moulin Rouge? By the Lord Harry that was atrocious.

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Unhappy

Awful

Random Hearts, 1999 - Harrison Ford, Kristin Scott Thomas

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Childcatcher

Death Race 2000

David Caradine sex scene...need I say more?

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Re: Death Race 2000

Ignoring Caradine's ignominious end, DR 2000 is a fucking classic.

Now, if he did a pilot movie for 'King Fu' then that would have to be voted for, especially when we could have had Bruce instead.

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Re: Death Race 2000

I'm torn over the Jason Statham remake. It was absolutely terrible on so many levels, but as a dark version of Mario Kart, that had LOVEJOY!! in it, it was almost watchable.

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Ghost

My girlfriend of the time reckoned the only good thing about the movie was that Patrick Swayze was dead for most of it.

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Patrick Swayze dead?

Oh I missed that bit.

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Footloose .....

A town where dancing Is banned, complete drivel..... and to think there was a remake of it last year.

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Re: Footloose .....

Actually when the original was made it wasn't that difficult to find small towns in the Bible Belt where dancing was banned. Probably 90% of them changed that law after the original came out though, and most of the rest have long since quit enforcing it. That leave the remake looking rather silly.

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Eraserhead

Either the worst movie or the most bizarre movie of all-time. Yes, I paid money to see it.

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TRT
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Re: Eraserhead

Yeah, it was a bit weird, but despite the plot, it was well made. I watched it in 1988 as part of a triple bill at the Duke of York in Brighton. The other films were... erm... *digs deep* Ah! Razorback and Beyond The Valley of the Dolls.

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TRT
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The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

I couldn't watch more than 10 minutes of it. They mangled the carefully crafted dialogue produced by Douglas Adams to create something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike something even bearably watchable.

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MJI
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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

Just not good, not a dire film, just not good.

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Marvin

With Alan Rickman doing a fairly poor Stephen Moore impression.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

More than dire.....

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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

I had been told it was bad but it was on the box last night so I decided to watch it and make my own opinion. I was utterly devastated by the film.

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Paris Hilton

Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

I kinda liked it. Maybe it was because the cast was stellar (Zooey Deschanel, Martin Freeman, Warwick Davis, Helen Mirren, Simon Jones, John Malkovich, Bill Nighy, Stephen Fry, Alan Rickman, ....) I leave Mos Def to last only to highlight a brilliant casting decision to show that aliens from outer space don't always look like "us". ;-)

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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

Stephen Fry as the Guide was the only master stroke to the whole film!!

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TRT
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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

Ford Prefect has some of the best lines ever conceived, yet Mos Def delivers them as if he's chewing a sweat sock. The guy is a mumbler. During the 5-10 minutes I saw, they were shut in the airlock; the just completely removed the "Wait a minute... what's this switch? No, I'm only fooling, we're going to die." bit. That highlights the whole Ford/Arthur relationship. No, I'm sorry, cast or not, dreadful movie.

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Re: The new Hitch-Hiker's Guide film

Although I love Stephen Fry, his diction wasn't clear enough for the guide, which is why Peter Jones will always be the voice of the book for me.

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FAIL

Battlefield Earth

as many other have already stated!

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The Mexican (2001)

Is the only movie that I've slept thru - walked out after an hour of boredom/snoozing and don't have a clue what it was about..

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MJI
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Re: The Mexican (2001)

Seen it forgotten it.

Boring rather than bad

Used to get cheap DVD rental

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It's hard to choose,

But I would pick "Hardware". I watched it because it had a cameo of Lemmy from Motorhead.

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Re: It's hard to choose,

Had a good soundtrack from what I recall.

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