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back to article Dim Brits think TARDIS IS REAL

In the BBC series How TV Ruined Your Life, one-time games reviewer Charlie Brooker talks at length about the British public literally believing what is seen on their screens. This has now been confirmed with some investigative numberwang which shows that a large percentage of Brits are convinced fictional technology from …

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  1. Ammaross Danan
    Boffin

    Teleportation

    "Almost a quarter of us believe teleportation can be achieved. Yes, disassembling our bodily parts to have them reconstructed in a new place, all without dying in the process. FACT."

    The trouble with people is they don't get their (non)facts straight. Star Trek: The Next Generation gives a nod to how their teleportation device works in the episode where Picard is taken over by an energy being. He is teleported out into a "cloud" as "energy only, no matter" and is put back in his body by having the teleporter rebuild the last outgoing transmission and merging his "energy" self (that was in the ships systems by this time) with it. The doctor explained his memory loss as "this Picard didn't exist through the last three hours," meaning the body (and consequently the memories) had been dematerialized at the time of teleportation. The new body had been reconstructed from that transmission as if it had just happened. So, when we invent this form of molecular deconstruction and reconstruction technique, we'll, by definition, be able to clone people/body parts/etc automatically as well. Need a new body part? We'll "teleport" you, but merge your new body part into you during the reconstruction. Is it possible? Could be. Anytime soon? Not likely. It's that pesky problem of reconstructing all the atoms just so on the "other side" without having fancy machinery encapsulating you.

    Which begs the question, if the teleporter in Star Trek can teleport from surface to teleporter, or from a point of the ship to somewhere else on the ship, why have a teleporter room? To serve as a "entry way" of sorts perhaps? Stargate had the proper idea with their "Asgard" teleporters, even if it was just as fanciful. :)

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    1. Sil_W
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Transporter Rooms

      "if the teleporter in Star Trek can teleport from surface to teleporter, or from a point of the ship to somewhere else on the ship, why have a teleporter room?"

      I don't think it's ever really addressed. I suppose it's just to keep the ship organised. The transporter is quite a hefty piece of kit, as it has to include the buffer tanks, the Heisenberg Compensators, and so on (my gods, why do I know about this rubbish?) so it'd make sense to have a dedicated area to keep it all in. I suppose regulating transports by having them all start and end (assuming an away mission will be a guaranteed 'round trip' for anyone not in a red shirt) in a single location allows the transporter crew to keep tabs on what's going on.

      I remember being vaguely bothered by the question of whether Captain Kirk (or whoever) is technically killed when going through a transporter. If we send him through, and his body is completely destroyed, and just reassembled at the other end according to a data pattern, doesn't that mean we've actually killed him and merely replaced him with an exact duplicate? The 'new' Kirk might have all the 'old' Kirk's characteristics and memories and training and so on - but is it actually, truly him? And what does the subject of a transporter experience when they go through? If the copy takes place before the delete, as it were, how would we know that the departing 'real' person doesn't actually die (possibly in disruptor-esque agony) if the newly written person isn't instilled with those last, terminal memories? I can't see that there'd be any way *to* know.

      Yes, it's sub-academic geekorama nonsense *now*, but if such technology ever does drift into the realms of plausibility, I'd want to know someone had thought carefully about this.

      Right. Put the plastic pointy ears down and step away...

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  2. Haku

    Of course time travel is real!

    Hasn't anyone else seen that factual BBC documentary called "Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel"?

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    I object!!

    I take offense at this prejudicial choice of language! They are NOT dim! They are luminance challenged! Now, off to the pub with you and don't come back until you learn some manners.

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Terminator

    I don't believe that Dr. Who is real....

    But I swear that a trash bin in London once threatened to "Ex-ter-min-ate! Ex-ter-min-ate!!" me!

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  5. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Brought to you from another time

    Someone once commented:

    Most kids are pretty bright, while most adults are pretty stupid.

    What happens?

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    1. Getter lvl70 Druid
      Reply Icon
      Boffin

      Pretty Deep Question

      Just to touch the surface of it, I would think it's because 'kids' have the ability to think anything is possible and most adults have had reality(1) beat into them until that ability is dulled into almost nonexistence.

      (1) The world is not fair and does not particularly care about you. Rent, mortgages, utilities, food, transportation, kids, etc are foremost in importance. For example, I have a software idea that could net me some cash and would be fun to develop, but instead of working on it today, I'm going to be spreading 11 yards worth of gravel in my driveway by hand (making some pathways too - it'll look nice lol). I'll probably be too tired after that to work on my idea - another day lost because Real Life sometimes gets in the way of creativity.

      Maybe a little simplistic, but I just don't have the time right now to expound on this subject - that 11 yard pile of gravel is waiting.

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  6. Number6

    Of course it's real

    Or at least the technology is. Have you never cleared the mess from a teenager's bedroom and wondered how it all fit in there?

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  7. Mike 16

    Memory Erasure

    Back in the 1980s, a colleague had a clipping in his office about a curious incident.

    A Freedom of Information request had turned up reports of the CIA studying memory-erasure. When a reporter tried to follow up the story, he was able to locate some of the participants, but

    "None could recall if the experiment was a success".

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Somebody needs to do some homework

    Time travel : Done. As pointed out by many, we are already travelling in time, going forwards.

    Teleportation : Done. Admittedly only with a single photon, but nevertheless a reality.

    Memory erasure : Done. Try drinking 20 pints of Stella Artois.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Somebody needs to do some homework

      Anybody who drinks even one pint of SA wouldn't have any memory worth erasing.

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  9. Jacqui

    Canadian parliament is melting

    I just loved this one - a canucks spoof TV crew vistited US politicans asking then to video an appeal for againts global warming (and donations) because the canadian parliament (which they say is a giant igloo) is melting and the canadian need merkin help to stop it melting away.

    It was amazing just how many merkin poliiticans spouted this nonsense - even after many had consulted aides to "check the facts".

    I note they did not mention CSI style techniques - even our police and politicos think these are possible/easy/quick...

    Politicians are Muppets.(tm)

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  10. John Savard

    Back to the Future

    I remember seeing, somewhere, a claim in all seriousness that the hoverboard shown in the early part of the movie "Back to the Future" was real. I knew that this was quite impossible, as there's no technology in existence which would pack the energy and thrust needed in such a small package, but someone, I can only presume a hoaxer, tried to convince people of this.

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