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back to article Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip

iPhone users having reception problems are just holding the phone wrong, according to Apple, which have released an official fingering guide for those who want to be able to make calls. The problem is those pesky users who insist on wrapping their fingers around the phone, specifically touching the side at the bottom left corner …

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Yep

Good idea - I agree.

However, it wouldn't have been so Preeety. Although it would have worked.

Style over substance again.

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FAIL

@Sluttyfartslow

Yeah, that's what it means, style over substance, always, you forgot to add always.

Eye-dee-ten-tea!

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Jobs Horns

Wait, what?

You are supposed to use an Apple product when you hold it? I thought you just buy one and hold it for showmanship. Form over function boys. When will these people finally learn?

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Jobs Halo

Happy Fat handed Lefty

Firstly, I've got one and am keeping it. Secondly, I am left handed and have huge big hands. It hasn't been an issue for me as yet and I have the "bump strip" case on it's way anyway.

That aside, I find it hilarious and quite shocking that this could have got through QA. WTF were they thinking? And labelling the concept as genius just makes Mr Jobs look even more ridiculous.

This is surely an anti-fanbois wet dream...

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This is surely an anti-fanbois wet dream...

no - just a massive design flaw

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lol

oh, it is. I just wet myself. Again.

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Bronze badge
WTF?

"You're holding the phone wrong"

WFT?? We designed a flaw into the phone that we somehow missed during testing but it is YOUR fault for holding the phone wrong because WE put the antanea in the steel band OUTSIDE of the phone which you were SURELY bound to touch while holding it? Give me a break!! Anyone who accepts this blame game is surely an idiot. I'm holding my Palm Pre Plus right now and despite changing the way I hold it multiple times in both hands, it's not dropping any bars and the signal is fine. So YES Steve it is a design flaw that YOU cannot cover by claiming that your fanboi flock is "holding the phone the wrong way".

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Paris Hilton

April 1st already?

<snigger>

Paris, because she knows how to hold one.

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I actually have one...

Try as I will, I can't reproduce the problem. Even pinching the bottom left and right black lines together makes no difference to the signal strength whatsoever. Maybe I'm not sweaty enough?

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JMD
FAIL

Yes, but...

Most iPhone owners use covers, cases or protective sleeves so it might not affect that many people.

Seems Apple needs less Unicorn Magic Dust and more engineering. The Apple PR/Kool-Aid team can spin this as a manual Airplane mode thingy, I am sure.

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Jobs Horns

maybe...

It's just a bad batch in the U.K. I had no problem with mine ever since it arrived earlier this week.

I have noticed occasional service issues (mostly indoors, and mostly with 3G) and sometimes I have to switch to GSM to make/take reliable calls, again, indoors on floor 30 of my office building.

But, if I'd hazard a guess (I didn't look into too much of the take-aparts) I'd say both techs use the same antenna.

It's almost time for me to pick an icon. I'll go along with the rest of the haters and choose Evil Stevil, even though I've had no major issues with the unit. Why? Clearly, he not only wants to have his pick of donated organs, but also thumbs as well!

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Are others missing the point though or am I.

looking at the vids, especially the one with the key where the design is clear this seems not to be an issue with signal propogation but one of bridging a deliberately non conductive gap with conductive skin.

The key video above illustrates this nicely and posts around the web of people fixing the issue by taping up that corner of the phone seem to verify this.

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Jobs Horns

UK Consumer Rights

Good luck bullshitting your way out of this one, Jobs. No matter how you spin it, it's not gonna qualify as "fit for purpose", and therefore you're gonna have to do a complete product recall. Hahaha!

I feel a bit guilty about owning an iPhone 3G now, seeing as some of the money for it went to such a prick!

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iPhone 5

how glad am I that I took out a 24 month contract with the 3G S?! Come back Nokia, you tried and tested manufacturer of well designed handsets.

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Flame

not the first time...

its not the first time that an apple product has shown malevolence towards its fleshy owner...

at least its only dropping signal (well, even though that is totally unnaceptable!)....

Many years back I bought a Ti-book the paint on the carbon surround was water soluable so soon ust flaked and peeled off, exposing the carbon fiber... this carbon had the unfortunate side effect of discharging electricity into any wrists that came into contact with it! the effect made much more apperent in the summer with nice salty, conductive sweaty wrists....

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FAIL

Lame blame

Maybe he thought of the 'right' way to hold the phone while he was enjoying a bit of time to himself.

He has realised what type of person owns an iphone and now wants them to hold the phone like they are having a wa...

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Heart

Advertisers will fix it

They'll airbrush out the issues and still make the sheep feel they need one.

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How did this get through testing?

I wonder if the guys in the QA department were told they were just holding in wrong during the testing phase? This should not have gone out like this. Someone surely must have spotted the issue. In the US they'll no doubt try saying it's all AT&T's fault.

Surely they won't get away with trying to shrug this one off as the users fault. It's going to affect too many people. It's not like its going to a rare event triggered by a weird incantation.

Eagerly waiting for Wired.com to report this so I can enjoy the squirming in the comments :)

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Anonymous Coward

Just love it

If something goes wrong, it's Steve's fault. If something goes right, sometimes Apple might credit, but Steve doesn't.

Fucking hypocrites.

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WTF?

Just hate it

You say Tomaatoo

I say Tomarrto

It's still the same fruit!

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Hehehe

Of course, Apple never does anything wrong, right?

Apple is really trying hard to discourage people from trusting them to develop products that they can feel 100% positive about.

This might explain why I've seen an increase in the number of received calls that mysteriously get dropped by people like, say, my employer, an iphone convert.

Of course, this is perfect for those phone companies that dropped per-second billing - every dropped call means the caller looses the balance of their minute, and has to waste another minute.

Holding the phone wrong... yeah. Tell us another one Apple. How about designing a better antenna, and placing it in a more appropriate place like, say, along the top-edge of the phone?

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Go

Uh Huh

Their employment test is quite original. The only people who get hired are those who can drive to the place and make only right turns getting there. Keeps out the riff raff.

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Right

Ive just held my iPhone 3G in every way I can think of and it didnt lose any signal whatsoever.

This is rather funny now, they've buggered it!

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Boffin

Some who seems to....

...understand the subject comments:

http://www.antennasys.com/antennasys-blog/2010/6/24/apple-iphone-4-antennas.html

Caution: contains clear reasoning.

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Pretty reasoned but...

But at the end he says

"So, what's an iPhone lover to do? Well, I voted with my dollars. I ordered my iPhone 4 to replace my Original. I already know how to do the Vulcan Antenna Grip on the iPhone, and I am wearing out my current model.

And sometimes an antenna that's not great, but good enough, is good enough."

I bet he'll regret saying that when his calls start dropping. You simply can't expect a user to hold a phone in a certain way every time they use it. They might be unlocking their front door, be hanging onto a hand rail on a train, holding a pint. Heck, I defy anyone who can say they always hold their phone in exactly the same way each time they use it.

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Stop

RE: Pretty reasoned but...

"Heck, I defy anyone who can say they always hold their phone in exactly the same way each time they use it."

Here you go then:

I hold my phone in exactly the same way every time - in a usable position.

Covering up the lower left hand corner of an iPhone means:

a, your fingers partially obscure the microphone

b, you can't hold it comfortably...

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Stop Complaining

And get yourself down to the Apple store and buy yourself an insulated iGlove...

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Jobs Horns

Re. "This is a fact of life for every wireless phone."

I've just tested my antediluvian Nokia nk402 and my cheap 'n' cheerful Samsung E1120. Strangely, there's no change on their signal meters no matter how I hold them.

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Silver badge

Antenna protectors

All the companies that sell screen protector stickers, can now start selling antenna protector stickers.

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Jobs Horns

Job is a liar!

I have never thrown away any cell phone I have bought and that includes a 8-year old Mitsubishi cell (which perfectly fits WITHIN my four fat fingers) and an even smaller Panasonic which is completely covered when in my hand and, proving Jobs is a liar, they work perfectly WITHOUT signal reception signal level dropping. Ichecked them just before writing this.

Given today's snatch your phone and run social environment, Jobs proposition that hand phones be treated as some British hold a cup of afternoon tea is TOTALLY impracticable. And risky.

The answer for fools who bought Jobs latest iCrap is for Apple software writers to change the software so that increasing signals are IMMEDIATELY displayed but decreasing signal levels are only displayed after 5 or 10 seconds so no users know what is going on.

This is why they are called IDIOT LIGHTS.

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FAIL

RE: Job is a liar!

Two things:

1, Two of my old mobiles had problems when you held them certain ways (my iPhone doesn't)

2, If you hold the iPhone in a way that covers the bottom left hand corner then you're holding it in a way that's going to make speaking on the phone difficult and probably a little uncomfortable too.

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FAIL

Antenna

If someones hand can short both metal antenna strips together, that person will also be conducting them to ground, especially if standing outside on wet grass or metal. No wonder the signal drops.

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Happy

official fingering guide

lol @ official 'fingering' guide :)

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Big Brother

Maybe it's the patents

Maybe Apple tried to avoid using the patents of Nokia and others this time (since the earlier exploits didn't maybe go as well as Apple had planned and they were sued), and they just couldn't find a workable solution.

It sounds that Apple must've been aware of this for some time already, which really brings out the nature of Apple's PR bullshit. Maybe they decided to risk it and hope that people wouldn't mind. During the 16 years I was an Apple user I became well aware of the extent Jobs talks shit, so nothing really surprises me about the company. As Jobs gets older he really seems to become more entertaining as his true nature (the God complex) is coming out more and more.

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Coat

I dunno what the fuss is all about

It is shiny. What more could anyone want. And yes, I actually do have one. I'm polishing my feeelthy handprints off of it right now.

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Classic example of form over function

Let's make the worlds coolest looking phone and not worry about it actually working well as a phone.

The big news for Apple here is that if there is one thing people will not accept with a phone it's poor reception. Doesn't matter how cool the phone is, it won't wash. They must have known there was a potential problem. Hopefully the lesson will be learnt.

What makes this doubly funny is that Jobs expects you to cover up your uber cool phone with a case to get round the problem. So even the form is lost. LOL.

It will be interesting to see where Apple goes from here.

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Jobs Horns

What about us...

...right-handed, but left-eared users?

Looks like an iPhone 4 is not for me, not that I'd even consider buying one. Looks like a HTC Desire for me... when my 4 year-old Nokia 6300 eventually dies that is.

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Grenade

"you know how to use it"

grip it like Apple owners grip their cocks...

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Coat

Re: "grip it like Apple owners grip their cocks..."

Tweezers?

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Go

Obviously ...

... you're talking about holding fowl. As in choking the chicken! Oh yeah, and rthem that's just with thumb and pointing finger.

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Classic

Engadget has probably one of the best articles I have seen in a long time

http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/25/hey-apple-youre-holding-it-wrong/

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Pint

LMAO!!!

So they save costs or build times to make an antenna so weak at broadcasting it can be stopped dead in its tracks by human flesh and a few centimetres (depending on the fatty hands) of skin, bone, tendon etc.

What next, the ipad can't get rid of heat if put on your lap, or held flat etc. You can't get itunes to sync if it is stored next to the PC becaue of the metal case interfering with the cable?

Jobs really is a tool. But as I don't own anything apple related, I can just sit back and grin.

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Jobs Horns

Apple: reinventing ...

... the way you hold your iPhone.

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Unhappy

industrial design

Make the strip break in the middle of the top and bottom and no one would hold it wrong...

As for cases, FFS, I pay for a beautifully designed phone, not to ruin it's look by putting it in a thick silicone condom making me out to be Mr Clumsy..

..do you do the same with your car incase it gets scratched in the car park??

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Anonymous Coward

A saw a picture of an iPhone being shown off by Jobs

It was being used by president Demetri Medvedev,

the oligarch seemed very happy with his phone, and so did the Russian.

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Best Joke in Class Award

And in the face of very stiff competition.

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Jobs Horns

oh good old steve and his nonsense

As he gets older, his character seems to get even stronger.

Anyways, I just picked up one yesterday, and I have no problems, but if it was doing it I would return it too. As soon as palm gets it's stuff together I'm going for webos.

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Jobs Horns

Just use your flipper

I always maintained that Apple Mice were designed for people without opposing thumbs - those of us with the use of all our digits can handle more than one button. Obviously Jobby is continuing with his secret eugenics program to reshape humanity in a more Apple-friendly form.

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FAIL

Revelling in an error?

It takes a seriously sick and twisted mind to think that revelling in an error is anything but disgusting. The world would be a wholel lot better without people like that in it.

Not much more to say really.

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I think you'll find...

That people just don't like smug gits and find it funny when they get bitten in the ass.

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