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back to article Satanic net neologisms - nominations invited

So popular has our "top net neologism" poll proved that we're now bowing to reader pressure and inviting submissions for the "most repulsive bastard spawn of cyberspace" - words so hideous in their aspect that they cause lovers of the English language to vent steam through both ears while firing up the Twat-O-Tron. Regulars know …

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IT Angle

HmmKayy

I'd like to "take these on board" while I think about how to "push IT forward" I may have to "back burner IT" so that I can "juggle the concepts" because I would'nt like to "agranoy" anyone by not being "iTIL Compliant" and i'll have to lookup some of them up on the "WiKi" before I can give them "headspace", and of course I need to play "WoW" for a bit to "nerf" my stress.

IT? Because IT's All Gone Wrong....

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@ Paul re:PC

'PC' appears to have been a success.

It seems to have really come from those fine, upstanding folk - like Daily Mail readers - who pronounce 'Something must be done!' about whatever pees them off. but when something is done about whatever pees them off they cry that it's restricting civil liberties. (for that read 'I've been stopped in my car and I'm not some dark-skinned chappie or unmarried mother or young man with a Burberry cap. It's PC gone mad". No, it's what you asked for.

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So many. Here's a short selection

anything ending in 'tard'

Don't like Webinar either

cloud (in regards to computing, proper clouds are safe)

epic

fail

epic fail

any l33tspeak

any word with numbers in instead of letters. I make a point of saying it with the numbers in (l33t = "elthreethreetee", cu l8r = "cue elator" and so on)

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Stop

Comment 2.0

Web 2.0

Inventor. Should. Be. Shot.

From a canon!

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IT Angle

Ecosystem

I mean, WTF has it got to do software? Is it not plants and shit?

Oh, and who remembers when everything product under the sun had to have XP in it's name. That used to piss me off considerably.

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The pronunciation...

...of "WAN link" with an extra "k", which happens a lot around here. Especially when the network's "gone down".

Hardy har har.

(Plus I should think there's probably a fair bit of bandwidth in 10cc of DNA).

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Flame

My nomination

I would take the curious language that has evolved from World Of Warcraft as my nomination.

Then I'd take that nomination, stuff it into a rocket and fling it into black hole.

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@A word in defence of Automagic

Please explain the difference the addition of "auto" makes to the perfectly adequate word "magic".

"OK I'd better dust off the automagic code generator then"

"OK I'd better dust off the magic code generator then"

"Aha, a job for the automagic data analysis tools"

"Aha, a job for the magic data analysis tools"

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Anonymous Coward

Meatspace?

What's wrong with Meatspace? It's Cyberspace that's wank, meatspace is the amusing corollary serving to highlight the wank.

Another vote for blogosphere or lol - the first used exclusively self-referentially by blog writers, the latter by every tit who discovers his first forum at 38 but hasn't yet discovered punctuation. It's an epic battle for my disdain.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Software Engineer

I agree with that one as well, strictly speaking it is my job title, but it's just frigging embarrassing describing it as such around proper engineers.

Software is an art really, a massively long way from engineering. The day it becomes mere "engineering" I'll be bored shitless doing it and find something more intellectually demanding.

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Advertainment

No. It's an 'effing advert!

Edutainment is almost as bad.

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Heart

So much H8 :)

I was going to recommend some but reading through the comments I'm starting to think this is all just an excuse for old people to complain.

What's wrong with having a bit of fun with language?

I object to stupid meaningless words used seriously by people in suits during meetings (HR, yes; leverage, yes; monetize, yes; reimagining, oh for God's sake) but I don't see anything wrong with FAIL, LOL, teh, pwnage, automagically, fucktard, or any of the other ones that are *jokes*.

Surely this is El Reg's shining glory? The use of terms like "commentard" and "webinar" with tongue placed firmly in cheek? I guess that's what attracts me here every day; it certainly isn't the journalism :p

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Prolly

I've seen this so many times of late. It's PROBABLY.

"I'll prolly be popping over l8r"

And another vote for Webinar.

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repurpose

all over again

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Web 2.0 hard to "better"

Surely nothing beats Web 2.0 (that's "two point zero") for pomposity, pretension and downright redundancy.

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Heart

Eddie Edwards ++ (lolz)

Props to J00 sir.

Since when did the www.dailymail.co.uk start redirecting to El Reg?

Can't people see the value add? (zomg lolz !!!!!!1oneoneoneoneoneone!!!!!!!un!!!ein!!!!)

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Sheeple

It is a word only used by people who think the are clever and diffrent to put down anyone who is diffrent to them...

It makes me want to kill the people who use it, especaly as it is often used by people with no imagination, e.g. Mac fans who still think that they are diffrent and in on something.

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Jim
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Podcast. It's a ******* sound recording

Audio recording renamed. The sort of term Arnold Rimmer would use.

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Every word started out as a neologism

Eddie Edwards made some good points. Language evolves. Deal with it. Some people will have fun with it in an original way. Other people with less imagination will latch onto the latest "cool" phrases to look clever. This serves as a useful mechanism for identifying dull people, who would otherwise have to wear special hats or something. But practically every word we use sounded funny when it was first introduced.

Try going back and reading the folks from a few hundred years ago complaining about the evolution of the language. It's pretty funny! Practically all the neologisms they complain about either quietly died out or became perfectly ordinary words that no one would object to. One that stuck in my mind (assuming I remember correctly!) is the shortening of "attemptate" to the modern word "attempt." If someone said "attemptate" today they'd sound quite bizarre! The newer form is clearly more efficient, but when it first came out, people screamed about how horribly illiterate it was.

If there weren't new words popping up that were on the edge of respectability, then the language will have stagnated, and I think that that would be a very sad thing.

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Automagic

As opposed to what? "Manual Magic"?

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So kill me now

REGTARD

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ben

not net related, but

forming, norming, storming and performing. then, apparently, i would mourn the loss of that

my arse

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Most hated word?

RIM - As in, send a message via blackberry to another blackberry user. Pronounced just like it looks. I grew to hate it when working in retail and managers were constantly saying things like "I'll RIM the GM" or "Loss Prevention just RIMed me."

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It's

Used as a possessive pronoun. Oh and "teh" for the definite article.

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Anonymous Coward

I submit to you:

Total agreement on "web 2.0"

I would also like to add "Carbon Footprint" and "Carbon" fucking "Credit".

To the coiners of each: Die!

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using txt-speak in meatspace

I thought the silly lass behind the coffee shop cash register was calling me a "Barbie" when she turned away to get my coffee and said "brb" over her shoulder.

More words in favor of "automagic": it conveys both "automatic" (i.e., "you don't have to do anything else to make it happen") and "magic" (i.e., "it's a really complicated process that either you won't understand or I can't be arsed to explain, and either way you're not responsible for knowing how it gets done, only that it is getting done") in one simple word. It is good.

Misspellings that get repeated on purpose (like "teh", "pwn", "loose" instead of "lose") by people who should know better and do not have mobility/ dexterity issues as an excuse are just annoying. Kindly cease and desist unless you WANT the rest of the world to think you're a bit on the dim side.

OK, I'll bite: what is the deal with the '1' in a string of bangs ('!!!')? It looks like the typer lost touch with the shift key while drumming on the '1' and didn't go back to correct it -- is this supposed to be funny? Or to imply that the typer is SO BLOODY EXCITED that s/he just lost all kinds of control? Most of the slang I get (even if it makes me cringe), but this one I don't.

While the '-tard' suffix is getting old, I still really like 'fucktard' and will probably use it longer than I should.

'Webinar', 'blogosphere', 'two- point- oh', 'mobe', 'lappy' -- all good choices.

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Intranet

I vote for Intranet. It is completely meaningless. There's absolutely no need for a new word for a private network, whether it's an internet or just one network.

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@Paul (was: Sheeple)

Actually, I kinda like sheeple.

It's a very descriptive word for idiots who mindlessly go along with (a) crowd.

"It makes me want to kill the people who use it"

Really? You might have serious issues. Seek counseling.

"especaly as it is often used by people with no imagination, e.g. Mac fans who still think that they are diffrent and in on something."

Oh. Never mind, you're just a kid. Don't worry, you'll grow up some day and realize that all tools have a place. Including you.

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I propose ...

IMHO - just to much

LOL - have never really understood why anyone would use this

Blog - Overused

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Stop

it's definitely...

"Definately." While not, strictly speaking, a net neologism, the web has allowed this abomination to proliferate to the point where it is beginning to show up in spelling checkers. What is this world coming to? Google gives 21.5 MILLION instances of it on the web.

BTW, the only rule I have manually added to my Spamassassin web filter is to add three spam points to any email message that contains the word "webinar." My users have yet to complain.

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Re: Automagically

<about to show his age>

Hate to tell you this, but "automagically" was in the hacker's linguo (and that's the *original* meaning of "hacker", not the media's perversion of the term) back in the 80s. There is a big difference between automatically (it happens without human intervention) and automagically (not only does it happen without human intervention, but the method by which it happens can only be understood through Black Magic or Deep Voodoo).

And yes, "Black Magic" and "Deep Voodoo" are also hacker terms from the same period. Look 'em up.

lose lose.

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Happy

@Chris Re:Most hated word?

Hey! I *like* that one.

Just substitute the more widely known meaning of the verb "to rim" when you hear this one. I find it's usually well-used in context (certainly works for both the examples you quoted) and brightens my day. (WARNING: Some of the mental imagery induced may not be suitable for those of a delicate disposition.)

If it really pisses you off, try laughing quietly to yourself and then asking the user to look up "rimming" on the internet when asked what's so funny. That'll kill it off quickly for you.

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Long list

Web 2.0

Cloud

Software as a Service (SaaS)

and of course that dreadful trademark, Inifiniband, bandwidth is finite OK.

And yes Lester, Webinar

And of course 'social' networking (errr your sitting in front of your PC typing crap noone wants to read)

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Only one

Meme.

And I'm horrified to see it used in anger on this very page.

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jon
Paris Hilton

No Fluff to tough

Web 2.0 gets my vote...

Quite simply the biggest piece of computer related 'fluff' since makers stopped fitting dust filters to the average PC.

Paris: because I'd hoover her fluff any day

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Paris Hilton

Low hanging fruit is the new quick win

I can't believe no-one's yet mentioned "low hanging fruit", meaning easy stuff. I was compelled to write it down when I first heard it (many, many times) in a presentation from some marketing tart.

My latest verbal irritant is the politicians' current favourite (or "mot de jour", if you will): "in the round".

Paris because she's an easy bit of stuff.

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Just found another one

This one's even old -- but somehow still being used occasionally, and long overdue to die most horribly:

"Portal"

*shudder*

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Anonymous Coward

Trialing

A more assine attempt to avoid saying "testing" doesn't exist.

"Architected" - stupid alternative to designed

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