End Of Life
Hello, what can I help you with today?
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that; but I'm sure your bank will compensate you ... Now, how long have you owned your current toaster?
I see ... And when you purchased it, did the salesman inform you of the EOL Date?
Oh ... Well, it was the year after you bought it.
What? No, obviously the manufacturer is no longer updating the firmware for that model. No ... I'm sorry to say that the firmware from the current model isn't compatible.
What!!? You thought it would make your toast for years to come! But it does so much more than simply toast!
Yes, of course it does. That was required so that it could upload the number of slices you toasted to that ... cloud-based calorie-counter ... What' was it called? Ah, I forget ... I think it closed down a year or two ago ...
Hmm? You don't use a cloud-based calorie-counter? Ah; then this probably wasn't the toaster for you!
What? Well yes, it was still uploaded ... Oh, to some default profile the manufacturer created, I should imagine ... Has the data been what?! Good lord I shouldn't think so; it's just some simple firmware.
You didn't realise? Did you read the manual? Ah no, there wouldn't be; not for a product in that price bracket - You would have to downloaded it, from the manufacturer's website.
Have they really?! Well, I guess that does happen in this industry.
And you bought it two years ago, you say? ... Well, it's about time for a new one then, isn't it! The burning of bread has moved on a pace, since you were last in the market. Can I recommend the latest ...