Sign in / up

back to article Want to sit in Picard's chair while spying on THE WORLD? We can make it so – ex-NSA man

National Security Agency director Keith Alexander apparently sold the concept of surveillance to members of Congress using an operations centre styled on the bridge of the starship Enterprise from much-loved sci-fi series Star Trek. According to "a former administration official" who spoke to Foreign Policy magazine, General …

COMMENTS

House rules Send corrections
This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

    1. Captain DaFt
      Reply Icon

      Unlike life in popular fiction...

      Nobody ever sees him/herself as an evil bad guy.

      It's always "I'm the Good Guy, everyone that opposes me is Evil!"

      Ah hell, This explains it better than I can:

      http://mrmagundi.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/on-goodness-and-niceness/

      "‘It’s more important to be good than to be nice’ neatly summarizes the beliefs of Pol Pot, of Robespierre, of nearly every terrorist there ever was; and I’m sure that, translated into Latin, it was the official motto of the Spanish Inquisition. All the misery in the world is caused by people hell-bent on being good at all costs.”

      6 0
      1. John Savard
        Reply Icon

        Re: Unlike life in popular fiction...

        C. S. Lewis might have had something to say about that. People can be nice on the surface and still have bad intentions. It depends how you define 'nice' and 'good', really: as long as you file respecting the rights of others under 'good', then putting good first won't get you in that kind of trouble.

        2 0
  2. Graham Marsden
    Happy

    There was a line...

    ... in one of Tom Clancy's stories about the Security Services complaining that TV Shows and Movies had better control centres than they got in real life...

    2 0
    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon

      Re: There was a line...

      Well, traditionally functional command centers have been fairly awful. My internship was with a company that serviced shipboard systems and as such we regularly ended up in harbor control centers, which are really complicated places. Since those days I've been in many control centers for several different industries and they're all about the same.

      They are universally spartan, densely packed with bulky, massively shielded equipment with lots of dials, knobs and buttons no one in the room knows the purpose of and are either overwhelmingly beige or that sickly green that was globally fashionable in official facilities in the 60's and 70's.

      There seems to be a direct correlation between the effectivnesss of the business being done and the quantity of comforts and amenities. So I suppose it does make perfect sense that the NSA has a fancy control center: They really suck at their job.

      5 0
  3. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    The secret addiction of *all* politicians is *power*

    And that office was designed to convince his (nominal) superiors that they were in "control" of the internet.

    Complete BS but you can believe it was exactly what they needed to hear to give him the big $$

    He played those ass clowns like a f**king Stradivarius.

    Hasn't stopped the shoot-em-up at the Washington Naval Yard, did it?

    10 0
  4. Kernel

    "Make it so"

    I suspect that the phrase that so many associate with Captain Picard, "Make it so", doesn't actually originate with Star Trek TNG.

    The author Patrick O'Brian (1914~2000) puts it into the mouth of his Napoleonic era character, Royal Navy captain Jack Aubrey. The historical detail in the books of this series appears to be well researched, so I'm going to suggest the the writers of Star Trek adopted this from RN tradition, rather than inventing it.

    2 0
    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon
      Joke

      Re: "Make it so"

      O'Brian was the Transport Engineer onboard Picard's Enterprise; he would definitely be an authority on the matter!

      1 0
  5. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Facepalm

    This is the best they can come up with?

    All the sheeple shrieking and bleating "The NSA iz awfulz, dey iz like watching uz, they iz sooooo bad, dey... um... well, dey... er.... DEY COPIED STAR TREK!" LMAO.

    0 8
    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: This is the best they can come up with?

      Matt Bryant in his impersonation of a particularly twisted version of Eadon. Doesn't see the forest, doesn't see the trees.

      Bryant. I mean brilliant.

      11 1
      1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Happy

        Re: Destroyed All Braincells Re: This is the best they can come up with?

        "....Bryant. I mean brilliant." Oh, sorry, did you think that the matter was "really DOING eeeeeevil"? Truly you are a sad and bitter little man, even if you provide plenty of unintentional amusement.

        0 6
    2. mhenriday
      Reply Icon
      FAIL

      Re: This is the best they can come up with?

      Mr Bryant's intelligence and maturity are adequately reflected in his orthographical skills, as evinced in his post above. Quelle surprise !...

      3 1
      1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Happy

        Re: henri Re: This is the best they can come up with?

        "Mr Bryant's intelligence and maturity....." Ah, poor ickle Henri is still sulking from his last debunking. I see it so scarred him he has stopped even trying to post an opinion (no great loss). Maybe it will cheer him to note that the Fwench have been fingered as supplying software to ze nasty NSA (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/09/17/nsa_vupen/) - who knew the Fwenchies could write useful code! Then again, maybe not, as he probably wants to baaaah-lieve that only Ze Man does that nasty eavesdropping, not those cultured Fwenchies, n'est pas?

        0 3
  6. sisk
    Facepalm

    Our tax dollars at work.

    1 0
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So bad, so embarrassing

    My grandfather was a US Marine who landed in Japan, lost his best friend in at Iwo Jima, and contracted cancer after visiting Ground Zero. I am truly ashamed that this guy actually works for the same taxpayer.

    2 0
  8. stephajn

    Am I the only one...

    ....that noticed that the picture they posted is from Star Trek TOS and not TNG? If Picard is sitting in the chair of THAT Enterprise then something seriously wrong has happened.

    Just me flexing my Trekkie muscles.

    0 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Am I the only one...

      Well, they did get Picard and Kirk together for Star Trek: Generations....

      1 0
  9. William Donelson

    Not the bridge of Enterprise, but with a "Captain Kirk" chair...

    http://gyazo.com/497de8735e01e473483dfd995c4f3e39

    http://gyazo.com/fc04a0a8605bd36c3121cd81a67b67ba

    Amazing fun building this...

    0 0
  10. Winter is Coming!

    Seriously, Enterprise D had way better ergonomics than this monkey imitation. What a sad reproduction this is. The most interesting thing is the set for STNG probably cost a lot less. Besides where are the touch interfaces that inspired all our lovely tablets and surface? Of course, for all of you complaining about what would be the point of the chair and screen. At least the boss wouldn't be sitting in his office playing on an iPad while everybody else is scrambling in Red Alert. I'd take that anyday over where I'm at!

    1 0
    1. dssf
      Reply Icon

      Info Dominance Center...

      Ahh, Section 31 strikes again, hahha. Maybe they should invoke Reed Alert:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHyWYA1Nvq8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

      However, I think the Voyager Astrometrics Lab or 1701-D Stellar Cartography room would be better, even moreso if the perch overlooking planets or Intertubes nodes and pipes below could be built.

      Maybe even better:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQC7U7i-KdY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

      Crewman Daniels' temporal commission holo-encyclopedia

      1 0
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beer room

    The Startrek look was tried before for the operations room of Project Cybersyn by the Chiliean government under Allende. The CIA helped dismantle that one.

    0 0
    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon

      Re: Beer room

      The CIA helped build it too. Only fair they help take it down.

      3 0
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Beer room

        Project Cybersyn was a British-Chilean project and had nothing to do with the CIA. It was designed to help the failing economy under the democratically elected Allende government.

        The CIA were doing everything they could to topple Allende. Part of the reason the Chilean economy was failing was that the USA were deliberately calling in all their debts. They also covertly supported opposition groups.

        The CIA succeeded, Allende shot himself before being captured during the coup, and Chile was subsequently ruled by a ruthless dictator while thousands were killed, tortured or went 'missing'.

        So much for the 'special relationship'.

        3 0
        1. Don Jefe
          Reply Icon

          Re: Beer room

          The CIA played both sides of everything in their South American adventures in dictatorship development. One hand undermined the current administrations, one hand propped them up, and both hands got together on the weekends to create, manage and exploit 3rd parties which picked up any scraps their work during the week dropped.

          There's a bunch of reasons, based on past abuse by the CIA, why the South Americans don't trust the gringos. We've fucked them so hard and mercilessly in the past it will be hard to ever truly fix the situation. But hey! At least they figured it out before they were all slaughtered. US dealings with Native North Americans had given them somewhat of a blueprint for what to expect...

          3 1
          1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
            Reply Icon
            Unhappy

            Re: Beer room

            "There's a bunch of reasons, based on past abuse by the CIA, why the South Americans don't trust the gringos. We've fucked them so hard and mercilessly in the past it will be hard to ever truly fix the situation."

            True. This "position paper" from 1983 outlines the situation.

            Of course a lot has changed in 30 years.

            You can't smoke in a US govt building.

            1 0
            1. Don Jefe
              Reply Icon
              Thumb Up

              Re: Beer room

              I think you've hit on a grand idea! All future government policy should be set to music video. That way even younger people who might not want, or be able, to trawl through pages of bureaucratic gibberish can still understand what's happening.

              There could even be interactive public shows where the losing video (and policy) gets voted off. Democracy in the 21st century :)

              1 0
              1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
                Reply Icon
                Unhappy

                Re: Beer room

                "I think you've hit on a grand idea! All future government policy should be set to music video. That way even younger people who might not want, or be able, to trawl through pages of bureaucratic gibberish can still understand what's happening."

                Exactly. Of course at the time I guess they figured it was just the annoyed comments of someone whose bloodstream was very familiar with the products of the international drugs trade.

                Thirty years and $Terra of taxpayers money has changed what?

                In 2031 I wonder what the bill for The War Against Terror will be, and what actual benefits it will have shown?*

                Unless of course you mfg bulk data storage products or network DPI equipment of course.

                1 0
  12. I don't always drink beer

    Another Bozo in the Security Circus

    Meanwhile, we put up with the Boston bombing, the Fort Hood shooting, the attempted bombing of an airliner in Detroit, so on and so forth while being groped at the airport by the TSA. The next president should initiate criminal investigations regarding fraud, waste, and abuse.

    3 1
  13. DropBear
    Devil

    Wrong franchise

    How could they possibly got it so wrong?!? What they were supposed to copy was the Death Star control room, from Star Wars - at least that would have been appropriate; and hey, fantasizing about force chockes is even neater than about hot cups of Earl Grey, innit...?

    2 0
    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: Wrong franchise

      The Death Star worked as designed.

      The Enterprise(s) was always prone to internal systems failures, underutilized/incorrectly utilized as a result of being a pawn in expansionist Earth-centric politics and commanded by a succession of delusional madmen who claimed to hold certain principals as sacred, but were regularly 'forced' to ignore those principals to meet the needs of the moment.

      I think the Enterprise was a good choice to copy.

      *I'm a big Star Trek fan. But neutral analysis of the Federation and its policies show many heavy biases glossed over with fancy technology and busty, tightly attired female crewmen :)

      2 0
      1. Don Jefe
        Reply Icon
        Alert

        Re: Wrong franchise - Franchise Opportunity!!!

        Holy shit! Here's the pitch:

        Starfleet: Trek Support - Follow the adventures of the unsung hero's that keep Starfleet's cutting edge starships boldly going where no one has gone before. Watch as highly skilled techs answer late night subspace emergency transmissions to solve mission critical problems onboard starships throughout the galaxy. Replicator not working? Sonic showers peeling the skin of the helmsman? Holodeck vaginas sandy? Unknown virus causing pop-ups on the main screen? Watch the action as malformed system patches are rolled back while still keeping life support, propulsion, shield and weapons systems online and ready for action!

        Starfleet: Trek Support Always there. Always ready.

        3 0
  14. gaz 7

    if yu could, you would

    come on how many of you have not dreamed about being able to get away with doing somthing like this?

    Be honest. I'd love a network operations center like that

    2 0
    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon

      Re: if yu could, you would

      Of course many people dream of a work environment like that. It is simply good management to make your staff feel special.

      There are certainly scads of other moral boosting things going on there. It sure does help explain why ~20,000 US Citizens were comfortable with spying on and betraying their countrymen and the founding principals of the country they are supposed to be protecting. They were made to feel very important; nobody wants to lose that feeling.

      2 1

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like