A self-confessed porn addict is sueing Apple after he claims he became so hooked on watching rude videos that his wife left him. Tennessee man Chris Sevier, 36, has filed a 50-page complaint with the state's supreme court in which he slams the fruity firm for failing to install a blue movie filter on new devices. He wants Apple …
Why stop there? add the carrier for not filtering, the studio for filming it and the actresses/actors for doing the deed in the first place.
...and the NSA
For not helping him although they must have known.
and Kodak for...
Making the film.... oh sorry, I forgot.
DARPA for inventing the internet
Sir Tim Berners-Lee for inventing the web
Alan Turing for inventing the Turing machine (and David Hilbert for encouraging him)
Eadward Muybridge for inventing the zoopraxiscope (and for making up a stupid name for himself)
Charles Babbage for inventing the computer
@ Chris N
Wrote :- "Why stop there? add the carrier for not filtering, the studio for filming it and the actresses/actors for doing the deed in the first place."
Yes, but his reasoning is that Apple has the most money. For the same reason I am surprised he does not sue Warren Buffett and the Queen for not warning him too.
And his wife for leaving him the videos in the first place. (Or am I the only one who read the first sentence that way?)
Why not sue the first humans that copulated? Or the first micro-organism for possessing the desire to reproduce. Why not go back and sue the Big Bang for making the universe exist.
...let Claire Perry see this.
Owning an Apple device is like owning a gun,
Owning an Apple device is like smoking a cigarette.
These are things he claims in his lawsuit.
The most disturbing part - he will probably win......
But I thought
Owning a gun was legal in his neck of the wood
He has to be trolling.
I refuse to believe that any reasonable person expects the manufacturer of a bit of software to be responsible for doing exactly what they told it to do!
There ought to be a law...
Surely this constitutes a complete waste of the court's time?
And also, for that matter, a waste of my (and your) time in having read, and now commented on, this article. Can I sue him because his money-grabbing antics have caused a drop in my productivity this afternoon?
Re: There ought to be a law...
There are laws against ramptly stupid lawsuits. Though I'd imagine that if either of us were in charge, it'd be enforced far morr vigorously.
Is not a porn site. It's one of those hook up with women to have an affair sites and you need to register to view anything. So he clearly decided to have an affair, visited the site and entered his email, cc details, etc on purpose. It is not possible all this happened by accident or was anyone's fault except his own. No wonder his wife left him.
I hope Apple take him to the cleaners for hundreds of thousands in costs.
Now I'm wondering if you've been on fuckbook before, if you're at home today, or if you looked it up at work. If it's the third option you are a braver man than I.
"Now I'm wondering if you've been on fuckbook before, if you're at home today, or if you looked it up at work. If it's the third option you are a braver man than I."
Let's see, visit a website geared towards cheating at home or at work. Hmm, at work you could be fired, publicly humiliated, lose your standing in the community and be subject to ridicule. Or check the site out at home... where your wife could find out.
Work is the obvious winner in that scenario!
On the off-chance that this kind of stupidity is genetic, I sincerely hope this moron has not reproduced.
And it appears to have worked.
You're holding it wrong.
Re: You're holding it wrong.
What, the Apple?
Ugh, another prime example of how sue happy we are over here. I still get sad when I see a cup of coffee with a "really hot" warning on it. Or a hammer that says "don't hit yourself with this" and all of the other stupid warning labels caused by lawsuits.
Which reminds me, I might sue The Register, yeah, its impacting my job performance. I'm pretty sure its their fault I'm even posting a comment. Yeah, reg, you owe me. Right after I sue YouTube for cat videos, I'm coming after you!
Re: Sue happy - There's a "documentary" about this...
Re: Sue happy
I'm sorry to have to inform you that you have just wasted some of my time too.
Only in America...
The paid liars will try anything to get some of Apple's billions of cash stash.
They would borrow the money and issue dividends to avoid any tax liability should they actually have to pay anything which seems highly unlikely....
In the other corner
Clearly this is Apple's fault
Apple's cock up, Sevier's arse.
The Internet is really really great! (for porn)
I got a fast connection so I don't have to wait (for porn)
There's always some new site (for porn)
I browse all day and night (for porn)
It's like i'm surfing at the speed of light (for porn)
the internet is for porn
the internet is for porn
why you think the net was born? *
* cleanish version of the lyrics.
He's in luck though...
On behalf of writing a good comment I took it upon myself to look into these fuckbook sites (not because I was wondering what the guys definition of pr0n is of course [cough, cough]) and I think he's in luck!
I found 2. The .com variant advertises to have a dating bureau. So if the guy prefers these digi-chicks over his wife then what's stopping him from re-marrying and f*ck happily ever after?
The .net variant even guarantees that you'll get laid. How's that for a sweet deal?
Yeah, I'm completely convinced it was the innernets fault. Of course it wasn't his fault for not listening to his wife when she told him to cut out the crap. Or when she told him: "Either the pr0n goes, or I'm going".
Yeah, the innernets fault. Not his possibly overly protective childhood or living style which eventually rendered him completely vulnerable to stuff which the rest of the world would call casual n00dies...
"" Only in The land of the they think they are free and the I'M Brave behind my Drone""
Guy is Probably looking for an out of court settlement of free porn
Can this be done as an open letter???
I have lost hours of productivity because of the wicked internet and it's vile filth mongering. I earn at least $40 ph and have calculated that you owe me a begillion doller$.
This takes into account the times I have missed Desperate Housewives on television, blisters, shaving hairy palms. As well as the numerous sick days I had undertaken at work.
Whilst I consider myself to be a mature adult, I find this whole thing absurd, I mean 2 girls one cup WTF, I had to watch it 1 hundred times just to be sure.
"but according to records (PDF) from the Tennessee Board of Professional Responsibility, he cannot currently practise law due to disability. "
After reading this I can only conclude that it is a mental disability he suffers. If the American legal system permits this kind of stupidity then it is truly broken
This cannot succeed surely?
He's obviously suffering from a very severe case of Shysterius Fuckwittus.
>"but according to records (PDF) from the Tennessee Board of Professional Responsibility, he cannot >currently practise law due to disability. "
I would suggest he is unable to practise law because he thinks a suit like this has any chance whatsoever of not being thrown out with prejucide as soon as a judge stops laughing long enough to speak.
Of course this gentleman obviously has mental health issues and, doubtless, a longer term underlying problem which should be quite sad in itself.
But it's a bloke blaming Apple for his overly enthusiastic wanking habit so it's actually fucking hilarious!
He cannot currently practise law due to disability
There's an icon for that.
A man who represents himself has a fool for a lawyer.
@ Da Weezil
"After reading this I can only conclude that it is a mental disability he suffers."
That's indeed the case - see http://abovethelaw.com/2013/07/lawyer-apple-should-protect-me-from-my-porn-addiction/
The link, btw, is the first site to have reported on this story - it mentions legal trouble that the guy is facing and also another lawsuit against Apple... worth a read.
What an idiot, he messes up his whole life and decides to blame someone else for it. Although I hate Apple, I want them to win coz it would mean a new level of censorships and parental locks across the board if the idiot has his way.
What a wanker...
Why Sue Apple?
Is there some feature specific to Apple that causes porn addictions? Or inadvertent exposure to porn? So why is Apple being sued for something accessible on any off-brand laptop/PC?
The real problem
... is that in the USA, people can sue without threat of consequence. If a judge/jury had a way of saying "No, you're an idiot and this lawsuit is ridiculous because it's your own fault" and Apple had a way to countersue to get damages because the judge/jury said "No, you're an idiot and this lawsuit is ridiculous because it's your own fault", then these sorts of things would stop, or really slow down. However, that would mean less work for lawyers, and America has a legal system of the lawyer, by the lawyer, for the lawyer. The lawyers won't let there be less work for the ABA members.
Once we have personal responsibility in the law, or rather punishment for refusing to admit one's own lack thereof, then we can move on to the civil service. So once again, that ain't happening.
Re: The real problem
In the case of Civil Lawsuits, the judge will almost always force the losing party to pay the costs of the trial (Unfortunately this only includes the lawyers' expenses and not the cost to the government)
Re: The real problem
But here's where shows like Judge Judy, The People's Court and so on could come into play. If the judge in this case threatened the plaintiff with national televised coverage, I wonder how long it would be before the case was dropped?
Just a thunk...
Why does it always seem to be lawyers who start these insane suits. This is just further proof that ambulance chasing vampires need the chickenwire treatment.
I have the highest respect for the Constitution of the United States, but it sorely lacks some amendedments pertaining to our responsibilities. Any sane legal system would throw this out and sue him for wasting the courts time. If ever there were an example of malicious and baseless litigation this is it. Is a car company responsible for you speeding or getting a parking ticket? Send him off to a Chinese reeducation camp.
Because most lawyers don't make jack shit for money and want to get in on the big cases the few get. I have to give this guy credit for at least targeting a gigantic global powerhouse with scads of money instead of screwing some mom and pop shop out of business for some trivial thing.
I bought a pint glass.
NO ONE WARNED ME THAT I COULD PUT BEER IN IT. Oh, woe is me.
I am disturbed at the courts for allowing this claim to be allowed.
I am even more disturbed that the litigant thinks he can get away with blaming a 3rd party manufacturer of a bit of hardware/operating system for his porn habit.
Oh I've got a large magazine fully of nuddy pictures.. i can't stop myself .. I must sue National Geographic.
.. yeah .. doesn't quite work when you put it in context does it?
I'm gonna sue my local supermarket for making me fat, my local pub for making me a drunk and my government for making me depressed.
After that I'm gonna sue the court for allowing me to make a total cock of myself.
I'm Suing the Reg !
For turning me into a commentard.