Hard luck lads, todger size DOES matter: Official Boffins bearing tape measures appear to have confirmed that in the trouser department, size really does matter. But it's not the only thing prospective mates are eyeing when they give chaps the once-over. In fact, todger size "interacts with body shape and height to determine male sexual attractiveness", so that a "greater …
"The popular science writer Richard Dawkins ...speculated in 2006 that the loss of the bone in humans, when it is present in our nearest related species the chimpanzee, is a result of sexual selection by females looking for honest signals of good health in prospective mates."
That's rubbish. It just wouldn't fit in the trousers, that's all.
"So the question is why do men have such enormous penises?"
If I recall correctly there was a theory that humans are the only primates that mate face to face. Seeing each others faces was considered part of the psychological bonding process. The suggestion was that the missionary position requires extra length in the penis compared to doggie fashion.
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Wrote : "In other news: MEN LIKE BIG TITS!!!!!!!"
Yes, but there is a major difference in that a woman can show off her tit size to everyone, even in normal clothing. Men cannot reveal their dick size however until they have already pulled the bird to the point where it does not matter any more - on that occasion anyway.
Some here have claimed that women can tell even when you are fully clothed. I dispute that. For one thing flacid size is no indication of erect size. And having an erection in trousers is something I have always, often with great difficulty, tried to avoid - for one thing it hurts, and secondly you do not know how the girl is going to take it, particularly if you have not long met her, (unless, again, things have progressed to the point where it does not matter any more).
I remember a first date (dating club) when sitting down at a table in a pub I looked down her massive cleavage and got a hell of a boner. I was worried she might ask me to get up for a packet of peanuts, I couldn't have got across the room. I was looking out of the window for distraction; don't know what she made of me. I did see more of her after that ;-) but a pity she had bad breath .....
"there is a major difference in that a woman can show off her tit size to everyone, even in normal clothing"
A friend who was a natural 28AA was mortified when her cottonwool padding floated out of her bikini in the swimming pool. She used to wear very stiff cone bra cups for work and prayed they didn't get squashed.
"In other news:
MEN LIKE BIG TITS!!!!!!!
World-changing stuff. Who knew?"
Not fussed myself. I am perfectly happy with small ones, provided that the person that they are attached to is interesting. A nice smile and the ability to make you laugh, on the other hand, is like Kryptonite. Ok, I do agree with Sir Mixalot, on the other hand, but I wouldn't like anyone to know that I harbour such shallow thoughts...
... a small penis was considered to be a sign of intelligence and good breeding. Only those bestial barbarians were well hung.
Not sure where I am going with this other than to point out that eh... penis attractiveness does change dependent on cultural sensitivities. Or something.
Have a "thumbs up"!
So, you're saying that the ancients had a clear division between intelligence, refinement, shall we say beauty, and virility, lewdness, shall we say eroticism? Further, the correlation between penis size and other attributes of the ancients is exactly the same as suggested in the Register's headline. The cultures may be closer than you believe.
<- I'm saying nothing about this guy's size.
" penis attractiveness does change dependent on cultural sensitivities."
The Ancient Greeks (Athenians?) had a booming medical industry in foreskin extensions. It was considered bad taste for any part of the glans to be exposed. People whose cultures mandated circumcision needed extensive cosmetic surgery if they wanted to succeed in Greek society.
Classical statues show the Ancient Greeks' aesthetic ideal of a stylised small penis with a long prepuce - a "fireman's hose". The testicles are also shown as very compact. Modern day people judge statues on that understatement as seen in both ancient classical and the imitating neo-classical. They often claim that modern neo-realist sculptures' anatomical accuracy is "not real".
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There's another theory that says classical statues are modestly endowed because of the self-consciousness of the patron. Do you want a statue in your home that has a bigger one than you? There have been documented cases of sculptures in the classical style being "reduced" for this very reason.
(Of course, this goes hand in hand with the observation that most men of average size believe they are smaller than average because foreshortening makes your own penis look short when you look down at it, compared to seeing another man's when he's naked and standing a modest distance away from you.)
... writing about the complimentary situation, in The Quest, also reckoned that more than one factor is likely to be involved.
They noticed that virginity was needed
To trap the unicorn in every case,
But not that, of those virgins who succeeded,
A high percentage had an ugly face.
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http://life.nationalpost.com/2013/04/08/size-does-matter-women-rate-men-with-larger-genitalia-as-more-attractive-ottawa-biologist-says/
"Perhaps unsurprisingly, they preferred men who were tall, long and V-shaped. Overall, body shape accounted for about 80% of the variation in attractiveness scores, penis size about 6% and height about 5%."
Also, the study doesn't take into account a few things. Such as the female participants may have been biased towards larger penis' based on sexual pleasure, or if you're a grower and not a shower you lose out, and finally other cultures where full clothing isn't typically worn.
http://www.nature.com/news/bigger-not-always-better-for-penis-size-1.12770
So there you have it, unless you are short, O shaped, and have a grower rather than a shower then you might want to consider using a lot of socks.
Then again, if you are tall, V shaped, well endowed and drink too much of tasty beverage in the icon it'll all be for nothing as nothing is making the little private stand to attention.
Whilst a little glib this pop lyric sums up my experience and observation of human activity: women tend to like men who are well-paid, ambitious and, therefore, have enough resources to spend on a family (talking purely about long-term relationships, of course).
For one-night stands it's about pure pleasure so surely the tongue length is as, if not more, important as penis length?
Wrote : "women tend to like men who are well-paid, ambitious"
There is a a problem with that. Women must first be attracted to the man for other reasons to find those things out, because they are not apparent at first sight or even after a few dates. I have known women complain that they were with a partner for several months before they found out that they were in massive debt or that they did not even have a job ("working from home" but in fact playing computer games).
I have always been fairly well off, have risen to a senior job, and had some impressive cars too, but you can hardly go around with a sign round your neck saying it. And inside a social function, how do they know what your car is? In my twenties girls tended to ignore me (ie not pursue a conversation) in open social situations because there were always showier (ie louder, not necessarily better looking) guys around, and guys always outnumber girls anyway. All my GFs I met through dating clubs where the first date is essentially 1 to 1.
I have concluded that women like men who are "entertainers".
Nuke, they go by first impressions, and that means clothing and grooming. Back it up with some tricks and acting and it's another notch on the bedpost. Thing is women keep falling for the same tricks. They keep going for first impressions, even though they've got stung by it before.
"And inside a social function, how do they know what your car is?"
My car for many years was a Range Rover. Most women had no idea that they cost a fair bit to buy and run - so were not impressed. The ones who did know the cost said "Oh Mummy has one of those for shopping".
Wrote :- "My car for many years was a Range Rover. Most women had no idea that they cost a fair bit to buy and run - so were not impressed."
The impression can be negative. I know a guy with a collection of classics including Mercs, Jaguar XJS's, a Range Rover and even a Cadillac stretch limo. But for dates he has found it best to use a run-of-the-mill diesel Audi, and keeps his collection secret.
"women tend to like men who are well-paid, ambitious and, therefore, have enough resources to spend on a family (talking purely about long-term relationships, of course)."
Many women do, and they tend to be the shallow, callous, greedy types who then bitch and moan about 'all men are bastards' because men who are available and well-paid and ambitious find being an absolute bastard is the easy route to promotion and have not yet learned how to be a bastard at work and a loving, sensitive partner at home. This is made worse by such men seeing women as a necessary accessory to aid in their promotion prospects.
However, there are also men whose aim is to get laid as often as possible, and women who are seeking well-paid and ambitious men are easy pickings, simply because they are so shallow themselves. Cue cries of 'all men are bastards' again, as they're used and dumped.
Strangely, both kinds of 'bastard' tend to drive BMW's or Mercedes, although some have moved on to the Audi recently.
Oh, and as a boot note: Women might say they like tall, well hung men, but they are quick to complain that it's too big when it comes to the bedroom.
"a smaller penis was less of a detriment ... than it was to shorter or potato-shaped"
Seriously, I stood next to him @ airport luggage. Short guy and I am only 5'10".
Then again, I've seen him claim that he's invested his $ quite wisely, so he's got 2 things going for him at least.
p.s. Darn Reg changed the article thumbnail on me so now I ain't hardly original, am I?
if ever there was one. Also suitable for the "Scientists now know" and "Boys will be boys" sections of Annals of Improbable Research
I wonder if these boffins are missing something here. A larger penis may also indicate a semi-erect penis, which might indicate to the viewer that the penis-owner might be attracted to the viewer. And there's (often) nothing more attractive than having someone attracted to you, eh?
They might also compare smiling and non-smiling images.
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