back to article Heavily armed dolphins on rampage in Black Sea

Worrying news today for any Register readers who may be in the neighbourhood of the Black Sea, as news has emerged that three elite Ukrainian navy killer dolphins, possibly armed with deadly weapons attached to their heads, have gone absent without leave in the region, apparently intent on nookie. As all habitués of these …

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  1. Stevie

    Bah!

    I see no reason to panic and get started on some demented Dolphin-Race to close a Dolphin-Gap with the Ukrainians by deploying our own Dolphins c/w head-mounted munitions.

    No, what's needed is to train and deploy a squadron of Dolphin Floozies-of-the-Night in order to suborn these foreign military assets with their squeaky charms and come-hither somersaulting.

  2. Wzrd1 Silver badge

    It's fine, if true, which it may well be true. Dolphin programs tend to be heavily classified...

    Still, it's cool. Unless the dolphin wants to get a bit of "melon"...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeah, classified as randy cetaceans, I would have thought. That an "R" rating then? ;)

  3. HippyFreetard

    Reg Headlines

    You never know with Register headlines. I thought some MySQL deal had gone through or something, turns out it's actual frikkin' armed dolphins. Wow.

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