Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip
A Tennessee born-again Christian has quit his job after receiving a wage slip marked "666" despite previously warning his employers of a serious aversion to the Number of the Beast. Walter Slonopas, 52, toiled as a maintenance worker at Contech Casting in Clarksville until bosses issued him a Form W-2 bearing the satanic …
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Sounds like he has a case of Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia
And a phobia of that...
... is Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiaphobia
AKA common sense
Re: 668
DCLXVI Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast
Route 666 Way of the Beast
666k Retirement plan of the Beast
666i BMW of the Beast
NO! Stop it! NOW! No more. Go google them yourself.
Re: 668
999 the ermergency service of the beast
(turn your monitor upside down, it works!)
"11001100110 - the number of the binary beast"
1010011010, surely?
Re: 668
I thought 999 was the number of the beast's girlfriend?
Re: 0.666
1232 - the number of the octal beast, just for completeness.
Obviously, the solution is for the employer to move to a senary number base system for all purposes.
Thus, 666 becomes 3030.
Brave Starr?
I knew that robot horse was hiding something!
Re: "667 lives on the other side of the road"
Not if The Beast is another bloody foreign benefits scrounger occupying yet another flat in a Hackney tower block whist decent middle class white kids from the home counties studying to become chartered accountants can't even get onto the council waiting list! The Daily Mail will be all over the story tomorrow, and how...
Ooh, it makes you want to shake your fist at the wall and grimace.
Re: 664
A friend of mine lives in a number 664 and is indeed the neighbour of the beast - not only is the house number 666, but the house is occupied by the parish priest and named St. Anne, which is pretty much a neighbour of an anagram for your man...
The reg on the car my other half drives ends with 30666, which is pretty cool.
new god required
How pathetically inadequate must his god be if it can't protect him from a number printed on a wage slip? He should really consider upgrading his god to a better/more powerful model
Re: new god required
Coming soon GOD V2.0
This upgrade replaces GOD V1.0/1.3.0 and V1.65
Unfortunately due to the way religion works, you will have to unistall your current GOD version and install the newest version (GOD V2.0). Don't forget to upgrade your associated software S.A.T.A.N. (Security Agent Transfer And Networking)
As this version is currently untested and unproven in the real world, there are likely to be numerous bugs that we havent identified as yet.
To report a suspected bug, please adopt a kneeling position with your hands clasped firmly together, close your eyes and explain your problem starting with "Dear GOD..."
I assure you someone is listening and as long as your problem doesnt interfere with any current dogmatic process and isnt to do with personal gain (lottery wins, ex wife death etc etc) then it should be fixed in time for your funeral
Regards
A. Ngel
Heaven/Hell Support Desk
Contact: kneelandpray@pearlygates.net
Re: new god required
> To report a suspected bug, please adopt a kneeling position with your hands clasped firmly together, close your eyes and explain your problem starting with "Dear GOD..."
This is because GOD V2.0 features the new Metro UI....
Re: new god required
Most religions just upgrade by incorporating the best features of the new god. A sort of accumulative patch - until no-one is quite sure how it all fits together any more.
Re: new god required
Ah, that explains the duality of God/Devil if it's all in UNIX.
Re: new god required
"To report a suspected bug, please adopt a kneeling position"
In front of the Big White Telephone
@Jay Holmes (was: Re: new god required)
"Don't forget to upgrade your associated software S.A.T.A.N. (Security Agent Transfer And Networking)"
Actually, SATAN is short for "Security Administrator Tool for Analyzing Networks". Was/is an interesting kludge, back in the day. I still use bits & pieces of it as part of my tool-kit.
Re: @Jay Holmes (was: new god required)
Yeah I know, but I was thinking more along of the double meaning of Secure transfer as in if you are a bad boy you get a nice agent of the devil to help you with your secure transfer to do some networking in everlasting torture!!!!
See just because I dont pay attention in class, doesnt mean I cant make shit up on the fly lol
Good riddance.
I wouldn't want someone like that to work at my company anyway.
Hex, anyone?
29A
But there again, there's that word....HEX!
Re: Hex, anyone?
Explains why Cardiff Bus use the number 29B for their one and only variant of the 29 route.
http://www.cardiffbus.com/english/route28-29-29B.shtml
Number of the beast = sell your soul to the devil
Pay your tax = sell your soul to the government
Tax = Evil
The Three Stigmata of Contech Casting in Clarksville
"Contech Casting in Clarksville", eh?
If you take the first letters, you already get 333 ... yet another sign, but I don't know of what?
Want to make this guy go mad?
Anybody want to mail him this URL?
http://www.google.com/search?q=Slonopas+666
He'll probably sue Google afterwards.
Moreover...
25.806975801127880315188420605149 = the root of all evil.
Re: 665 — Fax number of The Beast
9-665 surely as he'd need to dial for an outside line?
Perhaps
He IS the the antichrist, which is why 'his' number keeps popping up?
Born Again'ers
Used to work with a BAC. Radio 1 in the UK also had a daytime show in which there was a 'thing' they did called 'Praise the Lard' which was probably something to do with fatties or diets or god knows what.
Anyway one day BAC guy hears (mis-hears) 'Praise the Lard' coming out of the radio and spontaneously cries out 'HALLELUJAH!'
Thank you BAC guy, for providing a moment which, for the rest of my life, will roundly confirm Atheism as the path for me.
Re: Born Again'ers
What gets me is how europe looks down on all the born-agains in America (and quite right, too, I do as well), but they all got here because Europe dumped them on us. Heck, even the wankers at Plymouth Rock were kicked out of Holland because the Dutch couldn't stand them (the Dutch, mind you!) and were dumped at the cod fishing grounds to the north because the people at Jamestown, Virginia, didn't want them around.
Not that you'll read that in an official public school history book.
Re: Born Again'ers
The puritans left England because they wanted to persecute - they wanted to live somewhere where they could have absolute control over the way people lived and worshipped.
And the first place they went to try this was Amsterdam ????
If that was the IQ they started with - I think America has done rather well!
Puritan emigration: a favourite national myth?
Verily I say unto you, Yet Another Anonymous coward, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.
Should the real reason for Puritan emigration ever be of interest to you, you could begin your investigation from this comment.
Diddums
Sorry to hear his faith in Jesus was too weak to deal with this trauma and doubt the protection his lord was providing, not to mention St Christopher, whose image was probably present oh his medallion...
I recommend he prays harder so that next time he's confronted by something like this, he can do his god proud and finally prove his faith.
And if he can't, why not convert to Islam and not worry about that particular number any more? Simples.
Get my behind Satan?
Funny about that - poor old imaginary Satan gets told to get behind thee (gotta say the middle english latanistic biblical words - or he won't understand) , and the fucker just won't stay put....
Better grovel them words profusely and non stop...
Speaking of stupidity fuelled by bullshit.
LOST WORLDS: THE HISTORY OF THE DEVIL
Broadcast Date: Sunday 9 September 2007
Channel: Free to Air / SBS
Broadcast Time: 7.30 pm
Classifications: Drama, PG (CC) WS
Timeslot Duration: 60 mins
LOST WORLDS: THE HISTORY OF THE DEVIL
The notion of the devil does not originate in the Bible, as many may think. In the Old Testament, Satan is just another one of God's servants.
It is in Iran that the religious teacher Zarathustra simplified things, ending up with only two - a God of the Good and a God of Evil. This belief then spread throughout the Middle East.
In the Jewish world, Satan, God's obedient servant, was gradually replaced by Saden, God's eternal enemy.
The Greeks had an underworld called Hades. It didn't have fire, but the valley outside Jerusalem, called Hell, did. In Hebrew it was known as Gehenna, a smouldering rubbish heap to which fire was regularly set. That is where bodies of executed criminals were burned.
Gehenna was the inspiration for the Christian hell. (From Ireland, in English) (Documentary)
Satan: "You mean I am completely FAKE? Oh fuck it - I was having such a good time too."
wrong number
wasn't there a bit on QI where they explained that 666 isn't actually the right number and that technically it's something like 616 or something that's the real number of the beast, according to the original texts?
so not only is this guy a doofus, he's also completely wrong in his facts
Re: wrong number
Yes, and IIRC, that is an Area Code in Michigan ... Write your own punchline.
wrong number?
some of the earliest surviving revalation manuscripts (Codex Ephraemi Rescriptus & Papyrus 115) have the number as 616.
One of the most common interpretations of the number is that it is a reference to Nero, emperor at the time revelations was written. Nero Caesar translated from Greek to Hebrew enumerates to 666 however when translated from Latin to Hebrew it enumerates as 616
either way, I don't think Nero is a major threat to christianity these days
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