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back to article Huge rock-hard marble erection shocks Japanese kiddies

The good burghers of the Japanese town of Okuizumo have suggested a giant replica of Michelangelo's David might do well to slip on some underpants, lest kiddies are left traumatised by an eyeful of the "big and unexpected" statue. Okuizumo, in Shimane Prefecture, has enjoyed the 5-metre tall nude since last summer. It was …

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Silver badge

Re: David's dangler

>"Sex was invented by the ancient Greeks, but it took the Romans to introduce it to women".

>Anything the Romans did was a Greek copy. So whatever they did, the Greeks would have to have done it first.

It was a joke, and only mildly homophobic (though many of gay men I know won't complain since they get so much fun out of poking fun at the exploits of us heterosexuals). Of course Greek men and women got together to make more Greeks.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: David's dangler

< "us heterosexuals" >

Wink, Wink. Nod, Nod.

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Facepalm

*stumped* up for an imposing Venus de Milo ?

People have been shot for better puns than that...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: *stumped* up for an imposing Venus de Milo ?

Relax - there's no arm in it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: *stumped* up for an imposing Venus de Milo ?

"Excuse me, that is the Venus de Milo over there isn't it?"

"Yes, sir, it is."

"Ah, torso"

dum-dum-tah

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Sounds like the good people of Okuizumo could do with watching the Simpsons episode, "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"

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Anonymous Coward

Yet in Japan there are many public naked statues in the style of the Manneken Pis - usually complete with waterworks.

NSFW?

Shikoku

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rdale/4917810200/

A station in Tokyo also dresses their Manneken Pis to mark various celebrations.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kajiai/3862226836/

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Anonymous Coward

Hmm...

I was thinking that I didn't find this a very likely story. There are Japanese penis and vagina festivals...

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/japan/100315/japan-penis-japanese-vaginas

I can't help thinking that something has been lost in translation here.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Hmm...

It is always difficult to predict the precise taboos of another culture. Women needing to cover their heads or legs in some European churches often catches out some tourists.

In Singapore any public sculpture of a naked male adult is forbidden. However one of their tourist attractions is a bronze sculpture on the river bank by the Fullerton Hotel. It is "The First Generation" by Chong Fah Cheong" - and is of a group of life-size naked boys jumping into the river. A interesting engineering feat. Somehow I can't imagine a similar sculpture at Tower Bridge, London to celebrate the recreational use of the Tower Beach in the 1930s.

NSFW?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/adforce1/3231586870/sizes/o/in/photostream/

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it's not traditional

I believe there are certain temples/shrines that enshrine giant wooden penises in Japan, so I really don't understand the good burghers... Perhaps those temples are only for the girls? (I could look up some pictures, but I am at work...)

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Joke

Presumably

If David was donning a massive pink tentacle it'd all be perfectly fine

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Paris Hilton

Festival of the Steel Phallus

If they find that shocking, wait until these kids accidentally stumble upon Kanamara Matsuri (Japanese Festival of the Steel Phallus):-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanamara_Matsuri

Giant penis costumes and penis themed floats parading down the street. A perfect festival for all the family.

Paris? - Do you really need to ask why?

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"The doctors say it may take months before I remember what normal genitals look like, and even longer before I remember how they are intended to function."

- from The Onion, above

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Childcatcher

I'm surprised nobody has used it yet...so I will:

"Won't someone think of the..."

Oh wait, they already did. Or they pretend they did. A lot of this "won't someone think of the children!" Daily Fail crap is just a projection of their own selfish insecurities.

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Anonymous Coward

Oh look...

Someone jumping on the "Won't anybody think of the children" knee-jerk bandwaggon, without bothering to think if the story is accurate.

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Silver badge

Re: Oh look...

Alice Cooper is now a Christian, like his father before him, but during their boozing heyday his band used to send flowers to Mary Whitehouse in gratitude- money couldn't buy the kind of publicity she provided them.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh look...

I was under the impression Alice Cooper was always a Christian, his stage shows were always a morality tale with him being the victim for his on stage persona's actions.

Christians do also like a booze as well, you know. In fact there was a fairly famous water into wine incident...

I also doubt he sent flowers to Mary Whitehouse, as he is American and she wouldn't have been heard of in America. I have heard this story about someone else though, I just can't remember who.

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Pint

Re: Oh look...

"Christians do also like a booze as well, you know."

Yes, but some are rather hypocritical about it. In the U.S. Southern Baptists decry alcohol consumption in public but there's an old joke about what they do in private:

Always ask two Southern Baptists along on a fishing trip. If you have only one he'll drink all your beer.

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Linux

Re: Oh look...

The water into wine incident happened with a group of JEWS.

If you want to get a good handle on the Xian attitude towards booze, just compare what you get during communion to what you have to drink during a Seder.

Xians are uptight and always have been starting with that monk that created that whole "deadly sin" nonsense.

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Re: Oh look...

According to his interview on Radio 4 about a year back, Alice Cooper was raised a Christian, but he said he fell off it. He said that surviving rock n roll stardom was far harder than achieving it, and that booze came close to killing him, describing himself as having 'gone full circle' with respect to his faith. I dunno, the young Goth lady who normally keeps me abreast of such things has left my local pub for university.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh look...

"Xians are uptight and always have been starting with that monk that created that whole "deadly sin" nonsense."

Presumably Augustine author of the much quoted "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet" ? However - having had a good time for most of his life he was then determined to spoil it for everyone else afterwards. The earlier Christians had been surprisingly in tune with the more libertarian aspects of Roman society.

Not that all later monks took too much notice. Rabelais gave us the word "rabelaisian" with his activities. Many monasteries have been making various alcoholic brews of beers, wines, and spirits for a long time.

Henry VIII had no problem shutting down the monasteries after he ordered a comprehensive on-site survey of all their bad habits.

The Puritans really were kill-joys - although many of them emigrated to inflict their views elsewhere. Unfortunately they have managed to export much of their more prurient behaviour back again.

The Quakers managed to keep Letchworth Garden City dry until about twenty years ago - but one can forgive them, given their major contributions to human rights campaigns. Unlike the Salvation Army they didn't go round pubs with a collecting tin while banging the drum about temperance.

The chapels managed to keep a lot of Wales dry on Sundays - although "Under Milkwood" did cast a less reverent light.

If you want a good booze-up then the Roman Catholic Church is the place. Lots of sex too - as long as you don't enjoy it. Henry VIII would add that some things haven't changed since his survey.

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Re: Oh look...

"Xians are uptight and always have been"

No, most of us aren't. The uptight ones just end up on TV more 'cause they're so easy to ridicule.

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Anonymous Coward

This very badly need pictures.

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Aye

No way that Playmobil is going to be up to it.

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Anonymous Coward

Simpsons did it

Itchy & Scratchy & Marge. Season 2 ep 9. Last few minutes.

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Re: Simpsons did it

Iain Banks did it too- one of his teenage characters wears a t-shirt with a print of David on it. Her father objects, so she sews a felt fig-leaf on to it.

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Anonymous Coward

This doesn't go far enough!

All statues should have their genitalia removed.

Paintings should have them painted over!

Animals and humans should have them removed as well!

Won't anyone think of the children?

Can I have my coat? It's the one covered in rabid foam....

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Re: This doesn't go far enough!

>Animals and humans should have them removed as well!

I've said it before- if some fundamentalist cult wants to travel the world putting trousers on animals to preserve their modesty, then I would like to watch them try. From a safe distance.

(I used to know a fly-poster who was employed by Levi's to attach jeans to public statues... of course the jeans undid down the legs to allow them to be attached to figures whose feet were attached to the base.)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: This doesn't go far enough!

The later Vatican did add pants to some of Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They can't be removed because the original painting was destroyed in the censoring process.

They also added various fig leaf devices to their sculpture collection - although in recent years some have been removed. However - many naked male sculptures were selectively mutilated by various Christians at various times in history.

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Trollface

Don't be anal,

Don't be silly,

Show us David's

Marble willy.

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Bronze badge

You forgot

Burma Shave

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Devil

5 metres may not mean much to us, but it's probably 10 times the size of the locals.

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Cambridgeshire police would probably ban it

At least on the basis of precedent they would. The link here should presumably should be labeled NSFW.

http://melonfarmers.wordpress.com/2010/10/page/4/

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Cambridgeshire police would probably ban it

They obviously have a thing about it. They actually fined a student £80 for making one in snow. a few years ago.

A recent BBC 4 programme was about the history of the censoring fig leaf in art. A sculptor had made a classic herm that was erected in a London street. A herm is a style used by the Romans and Greeks - consisting of a tall square column with a head on top - and erect genitalia half way down.

However in this case where the genitalia should be were just some little bits of ivy leaves. The sculptor said that one day, when he had a few drinks, he would be tempted to attach the genitalia - which were still in his studio. He demonstrated on his studio copy of the herm that the ivy leaves were actually mounting brackets.

My favourite herm is the "Brunnenbuberl" (Boy at the fountain) in Munich by Mattias Gasteiger 1895.

NSFW?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/avec_plaisir/3806824063/

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toddlers are afraid of the statues

good. when can i get one in my home town?

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Anonymous Coward

>Japan's obscenity laws

[sarcasm]Thank you England for introducing your antiquated Victorian bullshit to Japan centuries ago.[/sarcasm]

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Anonymous Coward

decades*

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Anonymous Coward

"Thank you England for introducing your antiquated Victorian bullshit to Japan"

Is that the case? My impression is that Britain had very little influence in Japan. They were mostly confined to the factors in the few trading ports. The Jesuits were in before that and advised the ruling classes. Then the USA imposed gunboat diplomacy with Commodore Matthew C. Perry in1853 to open up Japan to the West.

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Anonymous Coward

I think it's more of...

1. The invented prudish Victorian morals

2. Said morals spread to the rest of the world like a cancer

3. Blame the UK as the end result

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Anonymous Coward

From the country that invented Hentai...

Yes sir, the big statue of a man is offensive. Their sense of what is offensive is totally upside down from the westerns, that for sure. On the other hand, the most degraded and downright weird stuff that I could find on the webs is - gasp! - japanese animation and cartoons, and it takes a lot of effort to startle me. But you don't see an outcry to ban it or tone it down in any way, shape or form...

For example, it was totally OK the type of violence you would find in Tom and Jerry or Roadrunner cartoons, (big hammer on toes? - check, drop a safe? - check) but you just try any of that sort today in another media, and watch hell break loose.

Bottom line is, weirdness and trauma factor goes both ways for each culture. We find it an abhorrent behaviour to commit suicide for your country or religion, they find it offensive the accurate replica of a man in marble. At least their parents do, I bet the kids just got scared of the statues, no matter what they are NOT dressing.

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Bronze badge

Never mind Hentai

Bukkake

'Nuff said.

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Re: Never mind Hentai

Never mind the bukkake?

I don't think that's going to work as an album title.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: From the country that invented Hentai...

>From the country that invented Hentai...

"Hentai" just means perverted, it's an adjective..

>Yes sir, the big statue of a man is offensive.

Logic fail. You are making the assumption that "hentai" isn't offensive to most Japanese and then trying to make the point "if this really offensive thing isn't offensive why is this less offensive thing offensive". If that was the case it wouldn't be censored by law.

>the most degraded and downright weird stuff that I could find on the webs is - gasp! - japanese animation

Again, you're assuming that adult video etc isn't offensive in Japan.. anywhere that sells adult DVDs does so on another floor or in a curtained off special room... because it's "offensive" to most people.

The themes might be slightly different... but Europe and the US produce just as "offensive" content as Japan does. Leaving out "hentai" from all of your searches on youporn might open your eyes a bit.

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Anonymous Coward

If they must put underwear on David,

please let it be a Calvin Klein Steel Micro Low Rise Trunk with the support and comfort he needs for maximum performance time after time. Perfect for a well-cut demigod. Naturally, it stretches to get on over a large marble base.

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Boffin

Re: If they must put underwear on David,

Wouldn't underwear for a statue really be outerwear?

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Silver badge

Interesting

that every one here (including the article author*) is focusing on the willy. I got the impression the main problem was more the 'huge statues appearing suddenly in/near playground'. With all that giant lizard vs giant robot pop-culture, maybe they are frightened the kids will think they are being invaded by giganta-whatsit. And maybe the willy slant is us imposing our Western ideas on what we think the Japanese ought to be outraged by.

*I understand why Lester did it that way - the heading is too good to resist :-)

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>"bokashi",

I think "mosaic" is the more commonly used term..

モザイク (n,adj-no) (1) mosaic; (2) pixelated obscuring in images and video, usu. for censorship

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Anonymous Coward

Japanese Censorship is weird to us...

... for instance, 2 armed guys rape a bus full of schoolgirls and the genitals are pixellated?

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