Huddled immigrant masses face 'British values' quiz
Foreigners wishing to obtain a British passport will henceforth face a revamped citizenship test which "focuses on values and principles at the heart of being British". According the BBC, the Home Office has dispensed with nonsense such as "information about water meters, how to find train timetables and using the internet". …
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Re: @Elmer
As to Farage - not filled with confidence about him either.
Is David Davies still available?
Re: It's a "can you read English" test, always was
or just wankers whereas the winners are 'those bunch of c**ts who wanted to tax Pasties,beer and ciggies some more"
Re: @MJI
Farage is Great. He is going to build a new Golgafrinchan Ark 'B' for all the Muslims.....
British values?
You'd be hard pushed to define a set of values that even a substantial minority of Brits agree with.
I'd settle for answering yes to both the following questions :
- Do you support parliamentary democracy?
- Is it OK to loathe all politicians on principle?
Re: British values?
Championing the under dog.
Decrying the successful (once we have had enough of their pea-cocking).
Telling people what to do.
Telling people what they shouldn't be doing.
Fighting and subjugating* populations. (*Though not so much recently).
Complaining.
Drinking Tea.
Taking the piss.
But most of all taking the piss...
Re: British values?
You know you are truly British when you despise everyone else...but are too polite to say so.
Re: British values?
You missed out both "Queueing" and "Getting Pissed".
Re: British values?
Damn it! How could I have missed those two off the list!
Re: British values?
Fawning over some German aristocrats, as if they were members of your own family.
Gush with sickening sentimentality over receiving a simple wave, after queuing and waiting in a large crowd for hours.
Re: British values?
Complaining? But that's not the British way - you should tut or sigh deeply whilst not saying a word as you don't want to cause a fuss (particularly relevant for queue jumpers or bad customer service)
I fail.
Yeah, I think I'd fail that, I'm guessing the answers to those three questions were
Nelson, poppy, pass and 21?
Honestly I'd rather see the basic skills covered to get a british passport.
Have you been living here more than 6 years
Have you been working for 4 of those 6 years
Did you need this test translated
I honestly don't mind foreigners moving to the UK. Just so long as they learn the language, and give back to the community. I don't think any immigrants should get any form of benefits until they've been here for at least 4 years though, neither do I think they should have access to the NHS, and I don't think they should get access unless they've been working.
Sad part is when I lived / worked in southampton, there were so many people there who didn't speak the language at all. The funny part was they were split into a few different groups, some who would try to hide it by not talking at all. Others who were elderly and had family translate for them (which isn't so bad, they were normally ancient) and my fave group, the ones who could barely speak the language but tried anyway.
Re: I fail.
Nevermind, I took the online test and passed. And no wonder it's multiple fucking choice. That isn't a test it's a guessing game.
Re: I fail.
Living in Portsmouth, I'm not surprised that so many people in Southampton can't speak English. Most of them were born in Southampton though.... :-P
Re: I fail.
@wowfood
Broadly agree, but:
neither do I think they should have access to the NHS
Would you rather have sick and diseased migrants spreading illness or having to resort to crime to survive?
Out of curiosity: Would you deny access to the NHS & benefits to a natural born, yet orphaned, citizen who was crippled in their last year of school and rendered unable to work for the rest of their lives?
Re: I had a look
New test passed but one, I said 21 not 18 for Jury
Old test - I knew one.
Who gives a toss about the number of constituencies (no Too Many option)?
Re: I fail.
Would you rather have sick and diseased migrants spreading illness or having to resort to crime to survive?
No, but at the same time, i'd rather have them in work before they come over here to a degree where they can afford at least some degree of health insurance, rather than it being footed by the tax payer.
Out of curiosity: Would you deny access to the NHS & benefits to a natural born, yet orphaned, citizen who was crippled in their last year of school and rendered unable to work for the rest of their lives?
If they've lived their lives in the system, and their previous family had paid taxes yes. My objection isn't to them getting healthcare at all, it's to them getting healthcare for free when they've done nothing to pay into it. Admittedly a factoid from the daily fail, but a number of migrants to come to the UK just to use the NHS, and then trundle off back home. That is why I put in the point of them living here for a period of time and holding down a job.
Like I said so long as they give back to society I don't mind.
I'm also against people continuoly claiming job seekers. I believe they should be forced to do some kind of volunteer / charity / community work to earn JSA. Likewise I think child support should be cut off, (or drastically lowered) after the third child.
Re: I fail.
I suspect a bloke called manuel feels much the same about Brits.
I think a better solution would be..
Anonymous so I don't get mobbed by either the "don't let anyone in" or the "let everyone in crowd".
Backstory; I'm an immigrant from the UK to somewhere far far away.
I think the biggest problem with the citizenship stuff in the UK is that citizenship is too easy to get. A lot of countries will only allow immigrants permanent leave to stay after the same amount of time (3+ years usually) as the UK allow immigrants to naturalise. They need to make citizenship less attractive i.e. 10+ years in the country, no dual nationality, no criminal record acceptable, favoured towards spouses of nationals and children of nationals, English exam, name transliterated officially etc..
This would make applying for permanent leave to stay more attractive which affords most immigrants the rights they want in the UK (i.e. to not have to keep extending their visa, not having to depend on a spouse or sponsor to renew) without handing over passports to people that have no interest in actually becoming British and integrating.
This scheme of "Britishness exams" is a failed attempt to make citizenship less attractive by making it seem harder to obtain rather than actually making it harder to obtain.
Re: I think a better solution would be..
They need to make citizenship less attractive i.e. 10+ years in the country, no dual nationality,
10 years of taxation without representation? Dual nationality is nobody's business.
Re: I think a better solution would be..
>10 years of taxation without representation?
I guess you mean immigrants should have the right to vote? That should be linked to their right to work (and hence pay tax) not their citizenship... There are non-UK citizens that vote in the UK.
>Dual nationality is nobody's business
If you don't want to actually take your new nationality apply for permanent leave to stay. Citizenship should not equal be equal to an everlasting visa with benefits.
Re: I think a better solution would be..
you have not idea how many hoops you get to jump through to get UK passport. And you would have had your own passport lost in "that" place, at least once, for a period of 2 years or more, so you would have been stranded on this "little island" in the meantime. Well, you wanted it, so you got it, full submersion :)
Re: I think a better solution would be..
Erm,
They need to make citizenship less attractive i.e. 10+ years in the country, no dual nationality, no criminal record acceptable, favoured towards spouses of nationals and children of nationals, English exam, name transliterated officially etc.
How easy do you think it is to get British citizenship?
I am reasonably sure the 3 year residency requirement is only for people married to a British citizen (as in "spouse of nationals") and there is a criminal record check.
Dual nationality would be a whole new can of worms.
Re: I think a better solution would be..
>>Dual nationality is nobody's business
>If you don't want to actually take your new nationality apply for permanent leave to stay. Citizenship should not equal be equal to an everlasting visa with benefits.
Patriotism is just a way for politicians to manipulate people. Nationality is purely a practical matter.
By $Deity there are a lot of hoops.
It already takes more than five years and it's incredibly expensive.
Plus they often lose your application form.
Re: Nationality is purely a practical matter.
Speaking as a Brit living in France ... no it isn't.
Q5: Which of the following are famously worn by Englishmen upon their heads?
a. Bowler hats
b. Tricorne hats
c. Sally Bercow
Answer me these questions three, before your passport you will see!
1. What is your name?
2. What is your quest?
3. What is your favourite colour?
OR
3. What is the capitol of Assyria
OR
3. What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?
I know, I know! The one with Monty's Encylopythonia in the pocket, please
Re: Answer me these questions three, before your passport you will see!
Regarding your 3 - is that Indicated, Calibrated or True airspeed you want?
Re: Answer me these questions three, before your passport you will see!
African or European?
Re: Answer me these questions three, before your passport you will see!
I don't know that
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!
the hordes
Meanwhile, the hordes of ignorant Sun readers who unfortunately happened to be born here get to vote with no qualifications.
Re: the hordes
It's the Daily Fail readers I'm more worried about. A lot of them actually think they are reading a serious newspaper.
Entrance examinations
'Don Flynn, head honcho at the Migrants' Rights Network, described it as ..."more like an entry examination for an elite public school". '
Hmm, let's see...
http://www.etoncollege.com/userfiles/file/KS%202011%20History,%20Geography%20&%20Divinity.pdf
I note a distressing absence of questions about thrashing the French here - what is Eton coming to?
Re: Entrance examinations
I got 100%!
Winchester for me, I think. Or Rugby. Which really has a 'beautiful game'.
Not Eton, or Harrow. I can't see the point of rowing. I'd need several more plums in my mouth to fit in well at Marlborough, and I'm frankly too intelligent for Stowe....
Oh FFS
I've looked at this test in the past and really, the questions are ludicrous. Three basic questions are all that's really needed:
1) Are you a prat?
2) Do you understand common manners (please, thank you etc)?
3) Are you a good neighbour (not leaving trash around etc)?
Bonus
4) Does your culture have a celebration on a date we're not using and can we adopt it for a party?
Seriously...people are people and whilst there can be some cultural tensions, reasonable people will sit down and sort it out. Hence question 1).
Re: Oh FFS
One extra question:
5) Can you lie convincingly?
Re: Oh FFS
If so have you thought about joining a political party and standing for office?
Labour
Labour's Chris Bryant used the announcement as an opportunity for the inevitable pop at Home Secretary Theresa May, who he reckons "should be focusing on fixing the big problems in her department
Whilst not a fan of Ms May this comment made me think what Labour was saying was more along the lines of "Should fix all the problems we left for you so when we get back to power we can have an unimpeded run at wrecking everything again .... "
Admiral who died in a sea battle in 1805 and has a monument in Trafalgar Square, London?"
Easy, that was Sir Trafalgar Square of London!
Allright, back to the end of the que! I mean, quey.... quay! Damn, who reut dat script?
Chances are ...
that your typical Brit lager lout can't answer the questions.
Several different tests have proved that Americans don't know how many states there are or what they names are. (50 states but most people forget about a whole bunch of other acquisitions, such as Puerto Rico, and thirteen others. Canada is not a US state, despite what some Americans think)
In Canada many Canadians could not answer the question: How many provinces and territories are there in Canada. (10 provinces and 3 territories)(Northwest Territories, Nunavut & Yukon)(Provinces have the right to use Constitutional Powers on their own, whilst Territories exercise power at the discretion of the Federal government.)
Re: Chances are ...
Unfortunately we cant just kick the crud out the country...
no more un-explored continents to send them too...
Re: Chances are ...
And you think that's surprising?
How many people in the UK do you think can tell you how many counties there are and name them all, without looking them up. Oh, and then name all the crown dependencies and overseas territories.
Re: you think that's surprising
Speaking as someone in the UK, I certainly couldn't tell you how many counties there are and I'm not even sure what a crown dependency is, let alone provide you with examples.
But I know there are 50 states in the US. Doesn't everyone?
Re: Chances are ...
"that your typical Brit lager lout can't answer the questions."
true. so what?
we already have plenty of our own lager louts that we can't get rid of, isnt it reasonable to institute policies that dont result in us getting more of them from other countries too?
Re: Chances are ...
"Unfortunately we cant just kick the crud out the country...
no more un-explored continents to send them too..."
Atlantis maybe? Last guess at it's location is the middle of a volcanic crater surrounded by the Greek island of Santorini. Plenty of space to sink a few hundred thousand racists.
Re: Chances are ...
The main thing I had to learn for my canadian citizenship was the captial of each province/territory.
So if the natives (well not actually the natives of course - just the last lot of immigrants with a more direct attitude to citizenship) ever need any help I'm ready and waiting to tell them that Charlottetown is the capital of PEI
People still want to immigrate to the UK?
I'd simply ask them, "why?".
why should I outbetter the natives in their history?
after all, they (we? you?) are in-famous in the world for knowing shit about their (our your) history.
...
allright, so is everybody else in every b... country in the world, granted.
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