back to article McDonalds burger app gives it to you straight from the horse's mouth

As Britain spits out its dinner in disgust after admissions that “beef” burgers sold in some UK supermarkets contain horse DNA, down under in Australia punters can relax because there's now an app for that. Or rather for proving that there's no horse cantering about beneath the golden arches. Stung by criticism it is a rapacious …

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Happy

Re: Nothing wrong

Proper Italian salami should have some donkey meat - how about that?

Thanks. You bastard.

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Re: Nothing wrong

There's plenty wrong with eating horse meat. Ask any horse.

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Gold badge
Alert

Re: Nothing wrong

In fact, it's a required ingredient for some of the best salamis in the world...

You mean like this?

Warning: Those with weak stomachs or who have eaten recently probably shouldn't follow that and definately should skip the recipe for Karta.

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Linux

Re: Nothing wrong

The Japanese like to eat raw Horse meat and call it Cherry Blossom Meat . I guess us Brits are just picking on the Chickens.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Nothing wrong

I've eaten horse sashimi in Japan. It was delicious. Of course, I had no idea it was horse (although I had a good idea). I took a photo of the sign sticking out of it and looked up the Kanji later on.

Japan's great for that. Half of the time you have no idea what you're eating and you end up eating stuff you'd normally avoid. And it's usually tasty.

Japanese burgers are revolting though.

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Silver badge

Re: My Little Pony burger

Only if it comes with a pinkie pie toy and a cupcake.

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Re: My Little Pony burger

I'll pass on the cupcake. You never know what they put in those things...

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Joke

Re: My Little Pony burger

My Lidl Pony burger

Fixed it for you

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Anonymous Coward

Re: My Little Pony burger

"I'll pass on the cupcake. You never know what they put in those things..."

You are a sick individual. I am a slightly less sick individual for getting the joke.

For anybody who does NOT get the joke: there is a (for want of a better word) "fan" fiction online about MLPs and cupcakes, that implies more of a Hannibal Lechter-ish bent to one of the ponies. It has been made into a few videos. Treat any potential link to that in much the same way you would treat razor wire made from Cobolt-60 and covered in HIV and Ebola.

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Re: My Little Pony burger

Thank you for your kind words.

As it happens I haven't read the story in question, but do know it by reputation. So, I suspect, did the person I was replying to.

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FAIL

Meal detection app

...is never gonna work.

For one - Never in a million years does the meal before look you anything like the one on the posters.

Two - just because the database says "supplier of branch x beef is manufacture y" doesn't make the contents accurate. Something Tesco is only now discovering.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Meal detection app

There's a video on youtube from McDonalds themselves that explains why the burger in the photo never looks like the one you are served.

Here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSd0keSj2W8

At least they explain why.

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Re: Meal detection app

I didnt know that video existed but at least it explains why in a good way.

Having worked for the big M in the past, i knew that we were kicking these things out at such speed you have no chance of picture perfect presentation.

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Silver badge

Re: Meal detection app

I'm impressed as to how close the photo burger is to the sold burger.

After seeing a photo shoot for a food spread that was going to a magazine, sure, the photo food is actually food, but it's usually not edible. Or if they are, they might not taste right.

Meats are undercooked to get the right texture on the outside, and if the shoot mandates a carved section, then that section is blow-torched to match what meat colouration you would expect on the inside.

Jelly has so much gelatin in it that it's entirely inedible - it has to be - otherwise it would never hold up with the shapes they give it.

Other foods have drastically changed recepies, because the shoot might take some time, any oils in the sauces might start showing on the surface before they're done photographing it.

That's why what you "get" isn't what you "see" in the ads.

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Paris Hilton

Mmmmm tasty marketing

'Use our apps, and we'll tell you all about our products... honestly'

I won't eat their crap - and I certainly won't swallow their (or indeed anyone else's) bullshite.

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Def
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Mmmmm tasty marketing

Grow all your own donkeys do ya?

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Silver badge

Yay!

Now the UK can eat its way, horse free, to obesity, diabetes and an early grave.

I feel so safe!

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Silver badge

Is this a real "official" app?

Calling the brand "Macca", a "Meh" button... hard to believe this is a real app. I thought McDo were rather more particular about their "brand image" (down the specifying fonts, sizes, placements, and pantone colours) than to put out something quite that informal.

Certainly, the French app doesn't refer to the brand as "McDo" despite that being what everybody seems to call it.

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Bronze badge

Re: Is this a real "official" app?

But this is aimed at Australians. I my experience they tend to demand less formal wording of things, at least for text presented on software that I've worked on.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Is this a real "official" app?

Here in Oz we jump in the ute, chuck a lefty down the highway, get the munchies, hang a Uie and visit Maccas for some tucker.

Geeze, ever McDonalds here uses "Maccas" in their adverts.

Horrible food though, not at all like a true Aussie burger with beetroot, egg and bacon.

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Anonymous Coward

Strewth

"But this is aimed at Australians. I my experience they tend to demand less formal wording of things, at least for text presented on software that I've worked on."

I once used an application written in Python, which was developed for the Australian market by the University of Woolamaloo. It was *incredibly* informal, though it got very confused if anyone entered their name as anything other than "Bruce".

Also, the licensing prohibited its use by non-heterosexuals, for some reason.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Strewth

But did it maltreat the Abos?

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Re: Is this a real "official" app?

Some of the stores in Oz are even changing there signage outside to 'Macca's' in trime for Australia day. No reason to believe that they wouldn't do it for a small iOS app.

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Anonymous Coward

Mac D's

Had a large 1/4 pounder-with-cheese meal + Coke Wednesday night. Was excellent, as I was in my once-a-month McDonald's mood.

Eating it every day or two is stupid. Eating it every few weeks is fine.

And I'm partial to dine at the OXO or occasional 'poncy' restaurant too. Enjoy all parts of the spectrum I say.

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Silver badge

Re: Mac D's

McDs is too expensive nowadays. Fish and chips from our local is cheaper than a McDs. You dont get that "1 hour later greasy" feeling from the chippy either.

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Anonymous Coward

no no no!

It used to be the case that when a restaurant first opened the quality, portions etc. where great for at least a month until they had obtained a good customer base.

When McD first came to the UK there was a lot of publicity about it and so I went for a meal there.

It was crap, even a Wimpy bar was better.

In the last 30 odd years I have eaten maybe ten times in a McD, but only when stranded in some god forsaken town where everything else was closed.

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Re: no no no!

By christ i miss Wimpey. Wimpey king size was the best fast food burger bar none. There fish and chips used to be great to.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: no no no!

There's still a few around. Down the road from me there's a Wimpy kiosk that's been there for years.

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Silver badge
Coat

I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

... the waitress asked if I wanted anything on it, so I put a fiver each-way...

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Coat

Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

Have you tried the Tesco's meat balls, there're the dog's bollocks

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Joke

Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

Pipped to the post with that joke!

I went to the cafe, told the waitress I was so hungry I could eat a horse. They rustled up a cheeseburger.

I asked them why they were still serving them, they said they'd bought a batch and were now saddled with them.

They gave me a lot of detail on the bap it was served in - the grain used, when it was baked, the temperature of the oven. Very thoroughbred.

Dropped the burger by accident, waitress said not to worry, they'd hoove'r it up later.

When I left Tesco cafe, the waitress said it was snowing out, so best dressage up warm.

Later had a dose of the trots.

Tescos profits were hit by the horsemeat scandal, but are now stable.

The problem with shopping at Tesco - I only went in for a box of burgers, and ended up spending a pony!

Enough horseplay! Looking a bit of a foal now.

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Coat

Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

Put my Tesco burgers in the fridge yesterday. Checked them today... aaaaaand they're off!

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Joke

Hambergers...

Is an anagram of "Shergars bum"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Hambergers...

Is "hambergers" some sort of autism that only affects pigs? :-)

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Unhappy

Chocolate milkshakes

Why, oh why, oh why, do they have such a problem making chocolate milkshakes? A good 90% of the time you get something that is not chocolate tasting at all and a very distinct creamy white colour. If you are lucky you can argue it with the person at the counter and they 'might' either put extra syrup in for you to mix in yourself or add more into the mix and pour a fresh one. However many a time I have just been told 'we don't do that'. I sat down with one manager once to discuss the issue and he told me it's difficult getting the mix right as if they add to much syrup it makes it bitter tasting so they err on the side of caution and make it weaker.

Strawberry, Banana and vanilla experience no such issues.

I love the occasional McD's choccy milkshake but now I hardly bother unless I can get them to add more syrup.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Chocolate milkshakes

"Why, oh why, oh why, do they have such a problem making chocolate milkshakes? A good 90% of the time you get something that is not chocolate tasting at all and a very distinct creamy white colour"

Years ago a rumour went around locally that you should avoid the milkshakes at the local branch of a fast food restaurant due to "unwanted additives" added by disgruntled employees.

All complete rubbish of course, but your description of "a very distinct creamy white colour" suddenly reminded me!

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In other news

A Tesco Express was razed to the ground in Westros by Dothraki screamers, after traces of pork and beef were found in horse burgers.

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N2

MD now and then is OK

If it keeps me alive, anything else is a bonus!

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Anonymous Coward

I don't give a shite!

If I was that worried about getting the very best, I wouldn't be going to McDs.

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Joke

Tesco Burgers

I use to eat them but ended up with a bit between my teeth so I stopped. Quite fancy trying a My Lidl Pony burger though!

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Anonymous Coward

Remember kids, with fast food meat it's pretty much all.....

....lips, fat and sphincter.

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Unhappy

Once every two years is just enough...

...to remind me how awful McDonalds 'food' is.

Sometimes you're in a hurry out on the highway.

Always, you regret the decision.

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Meh

How would you like your burger sir?

Gangnam style ... giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up ...

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Bah, horsemeat in burgers?

What about the countless camel toes in Primark leggings?

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Holmes

It's Just Advertising

Notice there's no "I feel worse" button...

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FAIL

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

I was hoping this app could at least give you a picture of the cow the meat is from.

[Ford] sat down.

The waiter approached.

"Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like meet the Dish of the Day?"

"That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat."

A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

"Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my body?"

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Anonymous Coward

"Dead horse" as tomato sauce is often referred to by devotees of rhyming slang,

What? Could someone explain this (see title) to a confused American?

The closest I can figure is Dead ~ Red and Horse ~ Sauce but that's a bit of a stretch for a rhyme even with clipped consonants...

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