Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS' A German woman is up in court on a charge of "attempted manslaughter with a weapon", after allegedly trying to smother her boyfriend with her ample 38DD assets. Lawyer Tim Schmidt, 30, claims 33-year-old Franziska Hansen forced his head into her voluminous top-hamper while they were making the beast with two backs back in May …
There are four groups to consider here, all respectable, gays, women, hetero, and lesbian. First two might say 'meh', but the last would pound their fists on the table and yell 'Hell Yeah!" Like a few of my friends, tolerance goes both ways.
We've learned boobs can kill, which relieves me because I thought I might be the only one this ever happened to. It's not something you consider during normal circumstances, correct? Picked up some German, learned translators don't do proper German. Discovered some Reg Commentards have some breastfeeding issues. If this continues, we find find out exactly how many square inches of skin it would take to smother somebody. All good stuff, wouldn't you say?
Cheers!
;)
"
He was definitely in trouble unless the safe word was "MmmmmmmmmMMMMmmmph!"
"
Yeah, safewords don't work in such situations, you just need to be bloody sure that the other party knows what they're doing. A delightfully sadistic ex cuffed my hands behind my back and half-drowned me more than once, and really got off on it. She also used to do an excellent job of restricting breathing with her other attributes (various, and charitably willing to let me have the odd breath if I did a good enough job down there)- but was always on the lookout for signs of unusual difficulty.
You can also do a dead man's handle thing by holding the other party's hand at first, too- that works. However, personally, I preferred feeling like control was entirely out of my reach.
It's a dangerous pastime, not one to try if you don't trust each other. Anon because, well, it's obvious, right?
and, @ Stumpy, it actually was in the BILD-Zeitung.
Anyway, 'treasure' is a google translate speak for "Schatz", which actually is. Though in this case, any reasonable person would use "Honey" instead. And then it makes more sense: "Honey, I wanted you to die in the most pleasurable manner." And I'll keep away from full-breasted women henceforth.
Paris, do we still have her? isn't, is she?
Maybe we need a new icon, two tits, in order to threaten someone with immanent death.
Just a thought for those who demand wiring with all Reg articles. IT can be a pretty tough gig, and these articles provide amusement and a minute of diversion. They also tend to find the Good Stuff, sparing me trolling dozens of web pages looking for weird news. The presentation usually is pretty funny itself, with puns and double-entendres both highbrow and low.
If you're too happy and well-adjusted to need a morale boost now and then, just close the tab and bask in your ideological purity while my friends and I are joking about Bulgarian Airbags.
UPVOTE if you partly read the Reg for weird news and humor!
DOWNVOTE if you're an ideologically pure nerd with no time for anything but coding!
May I ask if you would be laughing so much if it was a woman pressing charges of rape because her boyfriend grabbed her head and rammed his tool down her throat during fellatio? Gotta love these double standards, eh?
Go onto Google Images and look up "mouth rape gif" with SafeSearch off. If you find those pictures funny, then you can laugh at this article. Otherwise, stop and think about what you're laughing at.
Yeah. I thought so.
Oh come on, the situation is quite funny, if you would read something like 'Man killed by boobies' then thats got to hit a funny bone right?
If not, lighten up, humour is a way of dealing with atrocities, hence we make fun of some of the worst things that happend in WWII.
I don't have a problem with the humour, and yes, I agree with you the situation is funny on its face. What I'm having a whinge about is the double standard that, if the genders were reversed, people wouldn't find it funny. Those double standards have made my own life hard on more than one occasion, why is why I get my dander up when I see it played out. Please don't think I'm a miserable PC arsehole (believe me I hate PC as much as anyone can), and I did smile when I read the article, but I couldn't let it pass without comment.
We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
I don't think I was.
Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
No, it's too perilous.
Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
No. It's unhealthy.
I bet you're gay.
Am not.
Reminds me of the first articles at Jalopnik after Carroll Shelby's allegedly possibly vaguely boobie-related death.... they pulled one of the articles for some reason......
Check out the quotes lifted from the article at 13-05-12, 12:29 AM
"Ironic that a lifelong car man would die in a motorboating accident. "
http://performanceforums.com/forums/showthread.php?67279313-Carroll-Shelby-RIP
There's plenty of pleasurable desirability
A bite from your baby can be truly painful, and worse, it keeps you terrorized in the fear that it will happen again. It's hard to relax and enjoy your breasts when your baby has bitten you. Babies who bite are seldom asking to be weaned. There are many reasons for a baby's biting, but the most common one is you are wrong, and baby is right.
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