Re: This is so funny, not.
1-very observant, but the win button brings up the start menu, or click lower left corner
2-see above
3-yes there is, right where it used to be
4-The classic theme from Win 95 (nearly 2 decades old) has gone, I wouldn't say that was any more productive unless you are running on very old hardware
5-CP is exactly where it used to be, accessible from the handy right click menu in the lower left corner, individual "metro" app settings accessible via the right charm bar
6-the event logs are MUCH better, I cant see anything that's wrong with it so please advice what you mean?
7-processe list shows ALL services and programs running, divided and sorted, xp does not, but yes I agree there are a few more on the new OS than on the decade old XP, NetBEUI has its uses when used with NT and believe it or not but NT is still used, all be it limited, IPX/SPX is however completely archaic
8-see number 4
9-what is it you actually want? no ribbon? then hide it, it looks identical to XPs file manager or would you rather progman 3.11 style interfaces?
10-you talking about virtual folders?
11-such as? im running old 16bit dos programs on my 64bit OS, IE6 shit doesn't work, ill give you that, some very poorly designed programs that seem to need admin access do not work, these can usually be used if you install the program in to your documents folder, or assign admin rights and run in compat mode, but yes not all will work, but NEW productive stuff works just fine, just like 4 star leaded petrol doesn't really work without issues in a newer car, regular newer unleaded works just fine
13-i get the feeling youd be more at home with a 96 Acer
Look im not here to preach how good Win8 is, it has a lot of issues I will completely admit, however you haven't listed any of them which tells me you never really tried it out in the first place, MS needs to sort those issues out other wise it wont gain Win7 status, but seriously mate, get over yourself and at least try and wake up to the 21st century