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back to article LONDON iPHONE 5 MADNESS: 'You must be CRAZY to buy Apple'

Giggling Apple fanbois queuing for the new iPhone 5 in London gave Apple Store staff high-fives as a man bellowed at them: "Are you mad?!" The bewildering scene marked the start of another Apple iThing launch, and another day of eyebrow-raising antics on the streets of London and beyond. "Why are you shouting 'iPhone 5 iPhone 5 …

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oo

"Hey... I own an Audi A4! Leave us out of this!"

no, now fuck off over there with the other appletards !!

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Happy

Re: Oo

Just a little correction: the Skoda Octavia is based on the Golf, not the Passat. The Passat/A4 is a little wider and longer. Other than that I agrre with you're attitude, when making any purchase you compare and decide within you chosen budget.

I really liked the A4 (and A6) but decide to get the Passat Estate and save myself about £4K. The Audi's are a higher build quality than the VWs, just as the VW's are higher than the Skoda and Seat brands. The benefits of one are not always obvious or very noticeable, but can mean fewer faults, better crash safety, more space/comfort, quieter, etc...

Personally I see nothing wrong with any of these purchases as there are actual benefits to paying more depending on the users requirements. For me having a large reliable estate car is essential for my hobbies, and the level of comfort and room for passengers was the deciding factor (ie: Passat over Golf).

Almost none of this applies to a sodding mobile phone! Particularly when the retards buying them have not even seen or held one let along tried to use the damned thing before handing over the cash. When I see these sad schmucks it just confirms my belief that about 70% of the human race are complete morons, and that P.T. Barnum was dead right.

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Sir Wiggum Re: Oo

not only brainwashed, but they mostly don't have a clue how to operate most of the iphone features, what they are, or even exist!! (compared to other phones...) :O

usual conversation with my 'non tech' friend..

Thats a good pic, can you send it???

OK switch on yer bluetooth...

whats that???

<groan> its too big to txt you, got email??

huh???

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oo

Are you sure you are not describing yourself here?

I own an iPhone 4S. It replaced a nokia 6310i. That's it as far as your list goes. Hi-Fi? Designed and built the amp in 1972 (Class A) paired with some Quad Electrostatics. Car? 2004 Saab Estate bought 2nd hand in 2006. Home? Built in 1885, well pre Barratt 'Little Box' etc etc etc. BTW, the phone will probably not be replaced for 2-3 years.I

You might class me as a fanboi but there is no way I actually fit into your visual image of one but hey don't let your biggotry get in the way of objectiveness.

Please try to think outside your own little box and loot at the real world out there. The phone works for me. End of story.

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Happy

Re: Oo

That depends country to country....where I live Toyota Landcruiser rules.....or maybe it is that petrol is just so damn cheap....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oo

"......and that P.T. Barnum was dead right."

I presume that you are referring to the quote "there's a sucker born every minute" which has been accreted to PT...

I would just to point out that it is a misquote, and that family, friends and business colleagues all agree that the above quote is something that he would never have said.... the quote would more likely to have been "there’s a customer born every minute"

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Happy

"China has a one child policy," he shouted to the crowd, "which is a problem because we need as many Chinese people as possible, to assemble iPhone 5s."

Great, but so much better as

"China has a one child policy," he shouted to the crowd, "which is a problem because we need as many Chinese children as possible, to assemble iPhone 5s."

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Ah yes

That fits nicely. Just like their tiny hands on the tiny components.

Back to the topic at hand: goodness me, do they know how crazy they look to everyone else? Oh well, if they're having fun, I guess it's harmless..

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Facepalm

Sorry, but China hasn't had a "one child policy" in quite a while - funny how the mainstream media won't report this because it serves them too well.

In fact the Chinese government is actively encouraging families to have more children as it's begun to realise, in a much bigger way than say Europe, that their population is ageing very rapidly.

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WTF?

What!

"In fact the Chinese government is actively encouraging families to have more children as it's begun to realise, in a much bigger way than say Europe, that their population is ageing very rapidly"

Is time running faster in China? Maybe they're just trying to get to the future first so than can patent everything before anyone else.

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Stop

China does still offically have a one child policy in effect. The difference is that now it is not so rigourously policed & enforced.

The chinese state prefering to fine those who have more than one child instead of castration. But it is still in effect & they do still pursue people over having more than one child.

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Anonymous Coward

one child policy

Yes, they do. But the punishment has changed. It's now a fine which equates to around 15x your salary or around 150000 ukp. Whichever is the most amount... I'm sure my figures will ne corrected by one of their officials (its sort of fair...rich get equally hit by ratio in general...and if you really really want to have one, you can....like houses in the UK ;) )

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WTF?

Each to their own I guess

Me?

Coffee - computer - order products (NOT Apple though!) - go back to Real Life (TM) and then await delivery. Ah. so sedate and relaxing.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Each to their own I guess

This.

I can't help feeling that heckling twats in queues is just as pathetic as queueing for one though.

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Re: Each to their own I guess

As much as I disapprove of this nonsense / iBrainwashing, delivery isn't much better.

Coffee - computer - order products (NOT Apple though!) - go back to Real Life (TM) and then await delivery.

Find note that they have "tried" to deliver. Phone up and they don't know where it is. Is it in the van? Is it in the depot? Re-arrange delivery. You find it thrown over the fence, either broken or handset missing.

Give up and try and get it from the US. It sits in customs for 3 weeks. You never get the customs note. Chase down royal mail, they don't have a clue or try and fob you off to the original sender.

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Re: Each to their own I guess

Especially when you find out the hypocritical prick actually owned an iphone.

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Silver badge

Re: Each to their own I guess

I would not say it was pathetic, but it's kind of unsporting. It's easier then shooting fish in a barrel.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Each to their own I guess

"Re: Each to their own I guess

This.

I can't help feeling that heckling twats in queues is just as pathetic as queueing for one though."

WOW You must be a hoot at parties!

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TRT
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Somehow...

I sense that the fervour is no longer about the product itself but the experience of buying it; a sort of retail equivalent of mass hysteria. Totally bizarre, IMHO.

People, we have gone beyond the OOBE. Now is the time of the BOOBE*.

*I was toying with BYBE (Before You Buy Experience), but went for the cheap nork reference instead.

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Re: Somehow...

Yay for norks.

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Pint

Re: Somehow...

Yeah for knorks, as well!

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Anonymous Coward

Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

Facebook comments from one acquaintance...

"Outside Apple store, trying to get my hands on the new iPhone 5" ... (7 hours ago)

"honestly it's a disappointment. Didn't really like it." ... (2 hours ago)

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Re: Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

But Apple doesn't give a damn, they got them frenzied up to spend a ton of money or lock themselves into a shitty contract.

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Facepalm

Re: Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

Astonishing!!!! usually the inwardly disappointed one just shuts up about poorly thought out purchases.

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Meh

Re: Doesn't take long for the magic to wear off...

"Astonishing!!!! usually the inwardly disappointed one just shuts up about poorly thought out purchases."

Sometimes, going to stupid lengths to get an iThingie and then telling anyone who'll listen how you returned it within 30 days because it was disappointing is just another form of attention seeking. It's something a friend of mine did with a previous iPhone. He is also the kind of guy who posts passive aggressive vague statuses in IM and FacePlant for the attention.

Personally, I laugh at people queuing for iThingies as much as I do shoppers who queue at 3 a.m. on Black Friday to try to avoid being trampled while being one of the first to get in the store. I just wish the media would quit salivating all over iThingies and balance their reporting between tech devices.

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g e
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Holmes

El Reg gave the V5 phone 90%

Which seemed a bit odd to me as that's extremely high for anything and we already know it's really a bit of an iphone 4s+ spec-wise. Syndicated from a fansite review perhaps?

Snazzy new hardware with less functional software, Shakespeare's Birthplace has been eradicated among other places, apparently, in the new ios6 craps maps

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Gimp

mentalists

There won't be queues next year. Not if they're following Apple maps to find the place.

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Facepalm

Re: mentalists

You do realise that Apple slightly irradiates their iDevices, causing a so-called 'designer-cancer' that will slowly metastasise around a person's sense-of-self-worth and/or wallet and will act as a sort of homing-device. They could build an Apple store on the North Pole and still people would queue up to get a new phone, hell, they'd be grateful because the lines will be shorter there.

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Re: mentalists

@mentalists Oh they'll find their way to upgrade again to "The iPhone5s - now with improved maps". Based on Apple's char (http://www.apple.com/iphone/compare-iphones/) it will also have the A7 processor and an upgraded camera.

Anyone know how low a price the fanbois are having to set in order to offload their not quite shiny pretty 4 and 4s things ?

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Thumb Up

manager: "Ok team , orders from the top - you've got to get out there and run up and down acting like a dick. This will make the idiots out there feel their brainwashed moronic actions are validated! GO TEAM!

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Joke

crazy

New marketing slogan:

You dont have to be crazy to buy apple, but it helps!

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I just don't get why you would queue up for hours to buy any product unless it was extremely limited one time only offer and even then i would have to weigh up whether my time would be better spent working (so making more money) or doing something more pleasurable such as spending time with family and friends.

Its not like you get a 'better' phone by getting it first, in effect your really a beta tester if your the first to buy as issues that weren't noticed during testing won't be ironed out until a few weeks or even months after you got your phone with software updates.

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Bronze badge

You've made the mistake of thinking there's logic involved.

This is closer to an impulse buy, or those auction houses you see (usually with bouncers on the door) where the crowd are hyped up and start throwing their money at the auctioneer only to find they got a bag with a load of cheap tat in it.

It has no logic whatsoever. Even if you're a massive fan, there's no need to buy on day one (which will be the HARDEST day to find one on, without having to queue madly). But this isn't about logic as much as fashion and society. These people feel "accepted" by being able to have a privileged early look at a device that is basically hype. That acceptance is reinforced by high-fiving idiots and cheering, and the way their friends all ask to see their new phone when they get home, etc.

Compare it to, say, a Star Trek fan who will queue for hours and go to extraordinary lengths and even pay to get an autograph from, say, Leonard Nimoy, something which is financially worthless. They will rave about it to their friends who are also similarly obsessed (and thus will be impressed, cooing and provide status to the holder of the autograph, etc.) but everyone else is looking on like they're a bunch of nutters. Same thing, different product.

It's about acceptance into a clique. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the device itself.

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Holmes

Flawless analogy, Lee.

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WTF?

Fanatics

Next thing- we would not be allowed to post photos of Steve Jobs and there will be riots over movies ridiculing Steve Jobs and Apple. Apple trees would be revered and people eating apples would be stoned to death.

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Silver badge

Re: Fanatics

You are encouraged to take one bite out of the apple. After that you must go and buy the next one.

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Mushroom

When I rise to power people who queue for iphones will be second against the wall. First will be people who watch Jersey Shore et al

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Can you include anyone who uses management phrases too?

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Bronze badge

Some nice blue sky thinking there. Anyone who uses management phrases would just be low hanging fruit come the revolution, reach out and touch base with the synergy of the baying mob, instill a team dynamic to deliver post-civilisation solutions.

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Pint

Sir Wiggum

<<< is for you.

Now please excuse me while I go take a shower. I know you were being facetious but I still feel dirty.

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Just as long...

... as we're all pissing on the same fireworks.

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Devil

Benchmarked against best-in-class peers, your comment is a top quartile performer, and moving forward I will seek to leverage the upvote button.

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Anonymous Coward

Cash talks

The best line of mugs money can buy.

Does anyone else sense that changing of the wind, where the apple zealots are no longer praised, but derided? So many people saying "I'd rather have the SIII".

What happens when you try to overprice a mid range phone.

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Unhappy

Re: Cash talks

They don't care, they are true believers.

Somebody should have shouted at them "It's only a bloody mobile, not the Second Coming." Though on second thoughts maybe it is to them, second or fifth coming anyway.

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Def
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I *need* an iPhone5

For testing. I'm not going to buy one though.

In fact, I don't know which phone I'm going to buy next. Nokia: too heavy, Apple: too boring, Samsung: too big, HTC 8X?

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Re: I *need* an iPhone5

I'd suggest looking at Sony's Xperia range. The hardware is good quality, the design distinct, the camera tech is in a different league to anyone else and they even make a non-huge model for those of us who don't like carrying around huge slabs of glass.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I *need* an iPhone5

The Nokia is heavy due to the decent build quality and large battery.

Samsung have a big battery and lower weight by having very flimsy construction. Almost like a Subaru Imprezza, good engine, flimsy bodywork.

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Def
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Re: I *need* an iPhone5

The Nokia is overly heavy though. I'm sure it's a great piece of kit, and I am still going to check it out when it's in the shops, however, I'm currently carrying an N73 and an iPod touch around in my pockets. It's lighter than those two, but not by much and at least I can put them in different pockets.

Never buying anything by Sony ever again. Been there, done that. Fuck 'em.

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Re: I *need* an iPhone5

I can do nothing but praise the Xperia Pro and Mini Pro, though the mini was a bit too dinky for my big rough workman's hands.

But I suppose I'm partial given that the Pro was purchased almost entirely because it felt like my old n900. Now that was a marvelous phone.

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Re: I *need* an iPhone5

Would you saw the Xperia is a viable replacement for a N900? I dont want to get rid of it yet but one day will come when it will need replacement.

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