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back to article Everything Everywhere to be Nothing Nowhere in rebrand

Everything Everywhere will change its identity before the end of 2012 - but will NOT merge its Orange and T-Mobile brands, which will continue to confuse punters indefinitely. Orange and T-Mobile are, and will remain, consumer brands for Everything Everywhere, the UK's largest mobile operator. EE will announce a new moniker in …

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Heisenberg Mobile

How about Schrödinger-Heisenberg Mobile

Your phone may or may not have a signal until you look at it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Heisenberg Mobile

Oo oo oo, just thought of another one.

Schrödinger

Heisenberg

International

Telekom

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Silver badge

Re: Heisenberg Mobile

"Your phone may or may not have a signal until you look at it."

Or you may know where your phone is OR whether it has signal, but not both at the same time

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Heisenberg Mobile

Our until your smarter than you thought cat takes it out of that funny, hermetically sealed, gas-tight box...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Heisenberg Mobile

Or it may not have a signal because that, far smarter than you thought, cat has put it in that strange, gas-tight, hermetically sealed metal box...

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Thumb Up

iMobile

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Anonymous Coward

yes. because soon that will be the only handset choice.

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Anonymous Coward

The Cloud Company

Well, of all the various companies pushing the cloud, I thought that as they actually deal in mobile communications that go over the airwaves, they might have more right than most in the IT sector, to use that kind of name.

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Anonymous Coward

4monkeys

ran by monkeys for monkeys.

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Norman

Just because.

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Silver badge

On that basis

Why not 'Bodestone'?

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Anonymous Coward

Cinzano Bianco

Promises "anytime, anyplace, anywhere" but you knowthe advertising won;t live up to the reality..

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g e
Silver badge

Re: Cinzano Bianco

Martini, then

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Pint

Re: Cinzano Bianco

Promises "anytime, anyplace, anywhere" but you know the reality won;t live up to the advertising...

There, fixed that for yer...

Since El Reg hasn't seen fit to provide a glass of wine for me, I'll have to substitute a flagon of horse piss instead... I WANT a glass of a good Cabernet Sauvignon...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Cinzano Bianco - Martini Mobile

Shaky and not stirring...

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Thumb Down

Ummm

Not a title, the new name.

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Coat

Apple?

Since they might be the only network available for a while that can support a 4G iPhone 5

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Before Hutchison set up Orange they had a much less powerful network called Rabbit. It's actually not a bad name for a phone network so I think they should use it as a basis for the new name. However it needs to show the confidence of a much more powerful network and changes in technology. I therefore suggest Rampant Rabbit.

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Simples!

Since Orange were famously the network that liked to "simplify" things for their subscribers.

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe with 4G they MIGHT get the actual network capacity right... Only Three seems to have enough network capacity to actually provide a service at 3G speeds!!!!

All the rest fail to provide a decent speed & allowance even on 3G!!!

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Meh

AC's exclamation mark button is stuck OR he/she is really, really excited about Three.

Hmm.

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Anonymous Coward

marketing types

how someone thought up everythingeverywhere and got it the thumbs up tells you everything you need to know about marketing.

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Z80

network4mobesRus.com

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Ofcom

If I was feeling rude, I might suggest that they've already changed their name to Ofcom.

That would explain how they managed to end up with a 4G monopoly - seemingly without having to give anything away...

Otherwise we need to consider the full gamut of management consulting wisdom. So we need a 'q' in there, preferably without it's customary companion 'u'. Some cod latin, or greek. Numbers and punctuation are the coming thing in CEO-chique, so how's about:

Gr8FoneQ2.0

My apologies for any damage I've done to your readers' eyes with that abomination. If anyone's interested, my services can be hired, please apply to:

I ain't Spartacus

Gizajob Media5.0 Consultancy

Starbucks

Silicon Roundabout

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Anonymous Coward

How about

Up Yours

After Orange's customer service and their predeliction for screwing up perfectly good phones, with their bloody branding, usodding seless apps and non-removable games trials.*

* Yes, I know you could root and re-ROM, but that's not for the Joe in the Street.

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Something Smooth and Buttery

I Can't Believe it's Not Unlimited Data

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Silver badge

How about

'Jozxyqk' or perhaps 'kwyjibo'

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Thumb Up

Re: How about

But isn't 'Jozxyqk' a cat word for getting your gentleman's area trapped inside something?

Yay for Red Dwarf.

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OK, think of great, fast speedy words. Dynamic words. Words in italics.

Ford Cortina.

Yep. Call themselves Ford Cortina.

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Trollface

The Phone Company Formerly Known as Everything Everywhere.

And if that's not catchy enough, then they should call themselves ~

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Gold badge

Re: The Phone Company Formerly Known as Everything Everywhere.

The artist formerly known as Prince,

While on stage, used to posture, and mince.

Then just for a giggle,

Changed his name to a squiggle.

And nobody's heard of him since.

(with thanks to either Barry Cryer or Graeme Garden)

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Trollface

Share and Enjoy!

or more likely the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

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Anonymous Coward

My Eureka moment suggests

T-Mobile + Orange = Tango!

(See what I did there ;-))

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Anonymous Coward

Re: My Eureka moment suggests

OranGE + T-moBILE

GET BILE

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Bronze badge

Wireless Tele-Phonics, or WTF for short.

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Anonymous Coward

How about an anagram?

An anagram of "T-Mobile Orange" is "Tit and Minge". (Well, close enough)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: How about an anagram?

Lame Rebooting

See more at http://wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=TMobileOrange&t=1000&a=n (Takes a while to think about it, though)

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Flame

Doesn't matter

They can call themselves anything they want, I still won't be using them. As somebody said, they keep breaking phones with their branding. They have been doing that for years. (Remember the Orange homescreen on Nokias ?!) - I haven't used them since then, and if they were the last mobile provider on earth I'd be using cups and some string.

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The title that doesn't lie.....

Intermittent!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: The title that doesn't lie.....

But only sometimes.

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Omnishambles

Because I like the word.

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TRT
Silver badge
Holmes

Well...

We had One-to-One, which merged into T-mobile, we've got O2, and Three, EE have just been awarded the 4G spectrum, and E times E is E squared and 4 is a square number...

but just a number on its own isn't that distinctive and could be confused with the TV station, so I think we need a letter. So a letter that is both quirky (like Orange used to be) and denotes quality (T-mobile had a fair business reputation I suppose), and should also reflect wide coverage, i.e. quantity... and speed of 4G is important too, so think quick... I reckon Q is a good candidate...

So how about calling it The 4Q Network? Or just 4Q for short.

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Happy

Re: Well...

Ha ha! I see what you did there!

Btw are you known as just TRT or as The TRT....

Just sayin....

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TRT
Silver badge

Re: Well...

The first T in TRT stands for The.

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how about "Metro"?

or, more seriously, how about "Orange T-Mobile" or (my personal favourite) "Orange"

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Anonymous Coward

Egg Banjo

As useful as a Mobile Orange!

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Stop

You do know that Orange and T-Mobile are not just a brand, but two separate subsidary companies of Everything Everywhere, just like how BT Retail, BT Openworld, BT Wholesale, etc. are subsidary companies of BT Group?

If they want to keep Orange and T-Mobile separate, then let them.

Everything Everywhere was never a consumer brand anyway, it's just the parent company. They can have any number of companies underneath them.

The only people confused is people who deliberately look for confusion.

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Bronze badge

Three company names for what is basically one company, all of which operate in the same industry, all of which sell the same products, all of which appear in press releases as a conjoined entity, one of which you cannot buy a "product" from, and now we're changing them again.

And *WE'RE* the ones who are confused?

It's pointless, stupid, costly and insane. At least call yourself "T-Mobile / Orange Group" so that people know who you are. But that's the real reason for it's existence. If you change your name often enough, people end up using you again where they'd previously sworn off you for life.

This is really no different to the Consignia / Royal Mail example. You've spent lots of money on corporate branding to make us think you're someone other than the Royal Mail, when you could have just carried on using the name. You've split what was one entity into two (and EE split 2 companies into 3!) in the hopes that something magical about the name will recoup you the money it costs to have rebranded in the first place.

Or you could have just called yourself ANYTHING and NEVER used that name except on legal documents. E.g. Nobody knows who the hell Hutchinson are. But I bet they've heard of Three. See how easy that was? Proctor & Gamble have a million brands under the same name. But you only really see the P&G mark on some of them, and only in the smallest way possible because they want the BRAND to be important, not the company name.

And notice how ALL the BT companies contain the word - BT! So you at least carry your reputation forward and have an idea of who their parent company is, and can avoid as necessary (not so for "PlusNet", but that's another issue entirely).

For years, I used a domain name registrar until I realised that the actual company name was Parbin Ltd. There never used it except on official documents.

So you have two, huge, well-known brands, both of whom are doing well, both of whom people already own products from, both of whom own shops, both of whom serve the same industry. And what you do is create a 3rd name that nobody's ever heard of, put that into press releases (and even in the adverts they ran about the name change / network merger), change it after a year, and at no point truly "merge" the two well-known brands so lots of people still think they're the same company.

Yeah, that's obviously *ME* being confused, that is.

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Stop

I can see why they did it - before this T-Mobile and Orange were owned by two separate parent companies. They decided to put them together in the care of a newly-created company, Everything Everywhere, probably so that they could launch other companies under the care of it in the future (one of which we know about). Funnily enough, Deutsche Telekom and France Telecom have 50% stakes in Everything Everywhere.

As for the "all of which sell the same products" thing, not really a new thing, look at Dixons Retail, who have Currys.Digital, Currys, PC World, Dixons Duty Free - who all have product lines that contain the same goods throughout all the stores, despite the stores largely competing in the same markets.

After looking more at it, it's clear what's going to happen - even though they sell much the same products, Orange and T-Mobile will have their own identity e.g. much like Currys.Digital and PC World does and this third company, which will be the "4G network" one, will have a new identity. It could work, if they make them all distinct enough. Just look at the aforementioned Dixons Retail subsidiaries.

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Bronze badge

>>look at Dixons

Which is why the last (and possibly only) thing I bought from them was a box of floppies about 20 years ago.

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