back to article Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

For those of you who've ever wondered, like you do, whether the Jedi lightsabre or the Taser is the more effective weapon, we're delighted to report that the electric dispenser of justice is no match for Obi-Wan Kenobi's mighty glowing tool. Police mugshot of David Canterbury For proof, look no further than the case of David …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

  1. Phil 54

    Haha! I read the last line as ... interfering with a police officer's rap

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, that kind of thing only happenned in world war 2.

      Witness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFA-rOls8YA

  2. completely_hatstand
    Coat

    "interfering with a police officer"

    Am I the only one who can only think of this as some sort of sexual offence?

  3. tmTM

    What

    No pepper spray??

  4. Eponymous Cowherd
    Thumb Up

    They HAD to taser him.

    They shoot people with replica guns because they look real.

    Same goes for light sabres. I mean, that cop would have looked pretty silly sans arm/leg/head if he'd made the wrong decision.

    Better safe than sorry, I say.

  5. Jean Le PHARMACIEN
    Coat

    @Richard Scratcher

    D**n! Beat me to it - my first thought as I read article

  6. Gerrit Hoekstra
    Happy

    Top tip for crimms: Smile for the photo!

    Remember, the jury will see your photo long before they see your sorry ass in the defendant's seat. And you know what they say about first impressions...

  7. Richard 120

    Sith

    Is he not slightly more likely to be a Sith?

    1. Peter Murphy
      Coat

      If he's Sith, what's his Sith name?

      Meth Vader?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        And his always-helpful droid

        PCP-3PO

  8. M7S
    Stop

    @ Richard39, I think to be fair to the cops

    He's wandering around, ranting and waving something which could (perhaps not all police officers are experts in the subject of the rigidity of children's toys) give someone a very nasty whack on the head (leading to concussion, sub-dural haematoma etc) or (end-on) a jab in the eye rupturing the visceral tissue. Also should they fail to successfully restrain him he might go on to dash into traffic (result: he sues them for failing in their duty of care, or a car crash ensues in which someone else gets hurt) or he could just run about and whack someone else on the head if he slips out of their grasp (restraint training doesnt make an office Chuck Norris).

    He's already assaulted three people and the officers on the ground probably dont have time at that immediate moment to ascertain how badly this has been done. I expect that there's probably a procedure of escalation of warnings in line with escalation of "force" and whilst me might not be in a suitable condition to understand and comply if such warnings were issued (and I wasn't there but neither, probably, were you) but you've got to be reasonable about such things.

    OK they're paid (unless they are the equivalent of specials) to take risks to protect the public but this doesnt mean that they have to return home to their families mutilated or disabled as a result of people wishint that police work was like Dixon of Dock Green.

    I'll agree that there are plenty of times when police officers over-react or get it wrong, sometimes down to genuine mistakes, sometimes down to being belligerent and unprofessional. From what I see here I think that the intial deployment of a less-lethal option, but one trying to avoid direct physical contact given the information they probably had to work on was not unreasonable.

    Dont think that grappling someone is an injury free option. In many cases significant trauma can occur, to all parties involved.

    But the headline and tone of the article is quite entertaining.

    1. Figgus
      Facepalm

      You are far too logical for this thread. This lot seems to be the Daily Mail readers of El Reg, and logic has no place in their rhetoric of blame.

      The fact that tasing is better than getting your ass whipped by a baton or having 4 cops hurl you to the concrete seems to be overlooked by most of the posters here.

      If taking someone down and restraining them is so easy, I'd like to see most of the OMGPOLICEBRUTALITY crowd pull it off. Sadly, they are clueless about reality and find it much better to criticize this and go back to playing counterstike.

      1. Graham Marsden
        FAIL

        @Figgus

        The Daily Mail readers are the ones who are saying "Damnit, just give them a good Tasering or beating, never did me any harm, teach them a lesson they won't forget, doncherknow!"

        1. Figgus
          Happy

          @Graham

          Indeed, but I was referring more to the lack of logic than the premise of the argument.

  9. Smallbrainfield

    If he was into Trek instead,

    springing him from jail would be a doddle.

    1. Eponymous Cowherd

      Oh, do get real....

      As if plod wouldn't have fitted their cells with transport inhibitors......

  10. NickR

    I wait patiently for the youtube video

    of the CCTV footage, with digital enhancements and sound effects

  11. Eddie Edwards
    Unhappy

    Resisting being tasered is not the same as resisting arrest.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      resisting _CARDIAC_ Arrest.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > three counts of fourth-degree assault, second-degree disorderly conduct, third-degree theft

    What does this even mean?

    Third degree theft? Is that like holding the door for someone who turns out to be a shoplifter?

    1. Franklin

      With murder, it's based on intent. With theft, it's based on value. In most places here in the States, third-degree theft is theft of property worth less than $750.

      I'm betting he probably stole the light saber.

  13. Alistair MacRae
    Coat

    Ah Toys R Us!

    Toys R Us, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

    He should have been more cautious

    1. Brian Miller

      And all between ...

      the ages of three and twelve! Not that they'll behave better on reaching thirteen ...

  14. TRT Silver badge

    It only looked like a taser. It was fired by that cop wearing a long, dark robe, who kept his hideously scarred face concealed.

    1. Sceptic Tank Silver badge

      You want thi-i-is?

      C'mon, take it. Strike me down.

    2. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      Funnily enough, that was my first thought as well...

      Force Lightning vs Light Sabre. Now we know.

  15. Mcbain
    Pirate

    This little one's not worth it

    The last time someone of the porky appearance pulled a blaster on a Jedi he left armless, lucky cop I say

  16. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    @nickr

    On the new youtube video the bad guy shot first

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hahaha

    "Obi-Wan Kenobi's mighty glowing tool"

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Latest advice for scallies and chavs everywhere

    Remember lads, all you need to defeat the taser packing heat of the bobby on the beat is a 15.99 light-sabre from the shop that we know as toys-r-us, toys-r-us, toys-r-us!

    Either that or a mobile faraday cage!

    That gets me thinking of a new experiment for /bang on the beeb ;-)

  19. Jolyon Ralph
    Thumb Up

    Hokey Religions

    Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good taser at your side, kid.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I'm not surprised at this

    For the force is his ally, and all Jedi know that tasers are such an uncivilized weapon....

    Now if you excuse me, I need to grab my cloak, for as my master would say "the Man I must stand up to!!"

  21. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Big Brother

    The midichloridians are strong with this one!

    But really, how many degrees of "actions that are frowned upon" are there? And do you count up or down and is 0 included?

    And then they throw in the meaningless "arrested for resisting arrest and interfering with a police officer". Hah.

    Sounds like imperials. They were not the Boys in White, perchance?

  22. skeptical i
    Devil

    Toys R Us at helliday time? Would drive anyone over the edge.

    Surprised it doesn't happen more often, actually.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Understanding

    Nonsense speaking was he think not I. They language lessons from Yoda need think I.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Excited delirium

    Good to see that not all cases of excited delirium syndrome are lethal.

    Which is of course completely uncorrelated to the fact that the taser did not work.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Some technical details about tasers for those interested...

    Note - this info goes way beyond what the manufacturer will admit, so the certified taser "experts" will not be aware of any of this.

    The 1999-era M26 taser has a waveform that actually is a very short pulse of high frequency. These two characteristics actually did help to make it arguably reasonably "safe" with respect to direct cardiac effects.

    Where it all went wrong was the 2003-era X26 taser. They changed the output waveform to also include a DC offset pulse that repeats at the 19Hz PRF. This component (the majority) of the output waveform is no longer short duration and no longer high frequency. They've unintentionally abandoned two key safety features for a trivial 5% increase in effectivity. The death rate PER DEPLOYMENT approximately doubled with the introduction of the X26 taser. The overall taser-associated death rate jumped from several per YEAR to about ten per MONTH.

    Even one of the company's own experts has confirmed that the M26 has a wider safety margin than the X26. In other words, they've confirmed exactly what I've stated above.

    For those that still refuse to accept the cause-and-effect relationship between being tasered and sometimes being dead, please respond to the taser's 'Curious Temporal Asymmetry' argument (Google the phrase).

    For those that still feel that "tasers are safer than guns", please realize that tasers replace lower and safer forms of force in 99+% of all deployments. So your point is obviously true, but rarely applicable.

    To be clear, the evil swirling around tasers is related to the waveform design error that makes the X26 far more potentially deadly than is reasonable, and the false claims by the manufacturer regarding the risk of death from the X26 taser. It's the false claims about safety that increase the usage pattern to the point where all sorts of people are being tasered, and the occasional non-violent subject is being killed by police (that have been fooled by the false claims).

    I hope that this detail helps to clarify the complicated background of the actual problem with tasers.

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like