back to article Higgs boson hunters have god particle in their sights

The Higgs boson has been glimpsed by boffins at CERN who are now much closer to pinning down the particle after crunching through hundreds of gigabytes of raw data. Previous work at CERN over the summer had whittled down the mass range in which the Higgs was most likely to be found, with the results presented by Fabiola Gianotta …

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Joke

The slide mentions the "Look-Elswhere-Effect"

Is that a cousin of the "Somebody-Else's-Problem" field ?

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Headmaster

No, it means you have made the error of reducing the sample space early

http://www.science20.com/quantum_diaries_survivor/supernatural_coincidences_and_lookelsewhere_effect

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As jedi would have it

These Boson's aren't the Boson's you're looking for.

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"No, it means you have made the error of reducing the sample space early"

You have made the error of not noticing it was a JOKE !

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Devil

"You have made the error of not noticing it was a JOKE"

WRONG!

As I was saying about that reduction of the sample space...

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Worst slide ever.

Also the title of the article is very misleading: they have NOT seen the Higgs particle.

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Headmaster

Metaphorical science

They have it in their metaphorical sights - if they close their eyes and start dreaming, the particle appears, as bold as brass.

You seem to be clinging to some outdated concept of science in which a test requires observational evidence.

Well, get with the program, old man! It's post-modern science now.

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An "excess of events"

Wu Hu! God is Go!!! Could there be not just a lonely Higgs Boson somewhere out there but a Higgs Community, a cultural diversity of sparticles?

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Coat

"I'm Sparticle"

"No, I'm Sparticle"

"I'm Sparticle, and so is my wife!"

... ok, ok ... I'm going...

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Boffin

Science journalism/subbing at its worst

Boffin: It's too early to say that we've spotted the Higgs boson.

El Reg: The Higgs boson has been spotted by boffins.

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Anonymous Coward

Conditioning

It's just that journalists have got so used to dealing with politicians that failure to deny is an admission.

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WTF?

Devil's particles?

Higgs boson is God's particle as opposed to all others that were created by the Devil?

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Coat

Devil's Particles

Why do you think they call some of it Anti-matter?

Mine's the one with the Particle Accelerator in the pocket.

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Flame

Wot

I ain't creating no goddam particles.

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WTF?

What the fuck is

an "Inverse femtobarn". Or more precicely, how much?

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seven times ten to the fourteen collisions, if you must fucking know.

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Joke

... or as many collisions seen in precicely 24 hours of traffic around L'Arc de Triomphe.

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Trollface

lolwut

Possibly find Higgs Boson....

Possibly change world of physics forever...

Tell the world with Comic Sans....

Troll History forever

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This post has been deleted by its author

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femtobarn?!?

Is that for housing one's quantum cattle?

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Boffin

@ Fonts and Colors

You would be surprised how refreshing it is to look at raw data in solid and easy to read colors and fonts after being buried in black and white thinly lined code for hours and days...

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Thumb Up

Having looked at the range they HAVE been looking in the past, it was only time

I have to ask, given that most of the range they have been looking for this has been in the range that would by definition mean the universe was so unstable that it could go poop, at least according to the standard model. Now the stable range or the range they have as an candicate range that has been so for many a long time, ie the stable zone from looking at the possible ranges is pretty much the last range there actualy looking for it.

Question being why did they not lok for it in the likely range first, given the stability of current observations, indeed the obility to observe. Then afterwards reason why to eliminate the rest of the range. But still, it will only help to get that SCI-FI anti gravity platforms moving along sooner rather than later.

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Paris Hilton

smutty comment

so god exists in particle form but what about suzy?

having conducted intimate probing under conditions of strict confinement and after high energy impacts i can safely say she's full of surprises and is more complex than thought.

ok so silk rope and a cane aren't the normal tools of science but i assure you they work on my suzy ;)

does the bite mark i left on her chesticle mean broken supersymetry?

Paris - two chesticles

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Anonymous Coward

Typing one-handed does make it difficult to get capitals right.

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Boffin

Higgs Singlet Cat

The font is a dead give away. The boson was actually discovered around 1995 at the Fermilab, just after the top quark but any results can/could/will only be beamed into the future because of the "Higgs singlet" as proposed by theoretical physicists Thomas Weiler and Chui Man Ho.*

This is mainly to circumvent Schrödinger's cat paradox.

*). "Large Hadron Collider could be world's first time machine"

http://www.physorg.com/news/2011-03-large-hadron-collider-world-machine.html

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Anonymous Coward

Can i just get some ROI?

You spent billions on the worlds biggest doughnut, i watced hours of a laser pointer on a target, and for this?

I demand a levitating skateboard, proton pack or something equally scifi in return. If 5 sigma is certainad and 0 sigma is a no, you seem (to my tiny mind) be giving us a 50/50 (is this shit linear/magnitudal or what.). I could have done that with a normal sized doughnut and a coffee.

And before you clever bastards start going off, fuck off and make my jet pack. I'm sigma 2.7 its behind my sofa. And why dont betting shops use sigma?

Ah bollox

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A Grave Joke

The joke continues: The priest replied, "But, see, good sir, we have been holding a mass since Christ was born some 2000 years ago without ever have heard of you or seen you." To which Higgs Boson replies, "May be, but you need me for your gravity too which holds you down to the church floor." The priest was unsurprised and said, "Oh I see, I always thought it was the graveyard by the side which was the source of all the gravity; in that case, Mr. Higgs Boson, Sir, you may belong there."

Very kind of Higgs to try to be there to bail out the credibility of LHC and its secure funding. But at 2.3 ~ 1.9 Sigma? So the yes/no is still held in the clutches of the funding strategy. But surely put your champagne away in the deep freezer! Also, the strategy has to be excellent otherwise they too shall see the funds drying up like it happened with Fermilab. I as an amateur researcher fully agree with Professor Hawking. The reasons for mass and gravity are totally different than Higgs. For example, faster than light Neutrinoes and Higgs both cannot coexist -- either one has to be wrong. It's DCE research and superluminal speed which has the potential of breaking current scientific barriers, rather than finding a nebulous statistical dual peak for a Higgs, which well could be due to many other anomalies, one that LHC could not decipher is that of the UFOs.

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Anonymous Coward

The truth about Higgs Boson

Higgs Boson is INNOCENT! Support the campaign.

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Joke

The Higgs Boson is holding a press conference at midnight on Dec 24th. He's giving Christmas mass.

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Boffin

Apart from the design

and I don't mean experimental design - is there anything really there?

From this post, it seems there might, and this "fellow" has been a CERN-hater for quite some time, it appears.

http://iheardacouplethings.blogspot.com/2011/12/still-playing-uncerntainty-card.html

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Anonymous Coward

CERN openly discriminates people, who weren't born in western Europe. MC-EST.

"The cost [...] has been evaluated, taking into account realistic labor prices in different countries. The total cost is X (with a western equivalent value of Y) [where Y>X]

forrás: LHCb calorimeters : Technical Design Report

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