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back to article El Reg marks Steve Jobs for termination

It's come as quite a surprise to Vulture Central, but we've just found out that El Reg Strategy Boutique operative Philip Mitchell has been planning the assassination of Steve Jobs. The proof comes in the form of this teaser pic of Jobs we use to illustrate our insights into the wonderful world of Apple. According to one irate …

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FAIL

Death threats ok, innocuous picture not

"that kind of photo is an indication you want someone injured" hmm...

What about the death threat emails to climate scientists after the so-called "climategate" incident? The US police aren't doing anything due to so-called freedom of speech laws. As usual the American interpretation of freedom is somewhat flawed. Perhaps if the Reg emailed Steve Jobs a death threat that would be ok, but an innocuous picture.....thats just too far! lol

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Speaks volumes

I think it says more about a country that it HAS a well-known symbolic representation that they want someone dead than it does about El Reg's inadvertent use of that symbol. I wonder what they make of that big red St George's Cross on our flag.

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Silver badge

Re: Speeks volumes

Well, St George is already dead. So I guess it works.

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Joke

RE: Speaks volumes

"I wonder what they make of that big red St George's Cross on our flag."

Not a thing. Ask most of them to draw "the English flag" and I bet over 90% will draw a Union jack. The remaining percentage will wound themselves fatally with the crayons.

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Coffee/keyboard

WIN!!!!!!

> The remaining percentage will wound themselves fatally with the crayons.

I don't have a cup of coffee at the moment, but that line is so wonderous that I may go and make one specially to pour over my keyboard.

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Coffee/keyboard

...wound themselves fatally with the crayons...

(that's all)

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Jobs Halo

Oh lawd

Please post more Playmobil perversions, just for me.

- Steve

Sent (just) from my iPhone4

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Jobs Horns

assassination?

looks more like the broken image link from the next version of safari to me, or what will appear on sites that have flash embedded in them on the iphone....

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On behalf of Americans everywhere

... I'd like to apologize for my fellow countrymen without senses of humor. Or, I suppose, senses of humour. Take your pick.

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Pint

Ahah! A Missourian

I'm afraid that the state of his origin serves to explain quite a lot,, as far as, "How can this person possibly be so daft?" Missouri is quite the special state, it is.

I feel I should apologies, though I had nothing to do with it.

Heck with it. Beer o'clock....

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Heart

"...pathetic grab bag of bitchin..."

Its why I love El Reg, and keep reading!

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Grenade

Blow it up. . .

Can el reg please make a commemerative high def blow up version of this pic for a poster? I'd buy that just to miff off John St. louis

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Grenade

A big red cross

Doesn't that generally mean "don't shoot, we're medical personel"? Exactly the opposite of what John thinks. But then the yanks are known for their friendly fire incidents.

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FAIL

"I may be wrong"

No shit, Sherlock.

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It's true

X means "shoot me".

For proof, go take a look at any rural railroad crossing sign.

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Anonymous Coward

Do hicks and hillbillies

come from st. Louis?

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It's all true

That's the Mutants Red Cross.

Surely.

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Silver badge

Good grief

The guy's a crackpot. I'm an American and I can assure you that the red X means no such thing. We really aren't the gun happy kill-on-a-whim country the rest of the world seems to think we are.

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Silver badge

Hmm,

Your firearms murder / injury rate tends to suggest otherwise.

Lets be fair, the right to bear arms is constitutionaland i really dont ever see that being repealed.

Nothing personal, but you lot really are gun obsessed..

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Boffin

Right to bear arms:

the Second Amendment -- "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed"

So basically you can own a gun if you are to fight for the country. Which is pretty much the same as saying the military or the National Guard. However federal law still says every able-bodied American man from 17 to 44 is a member of the United States militia. Hence anyone.

What this actually means is that guns are not a 'right' for self defence or sport, but really only for national defence.

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Heart

Umm... beer

Writing ranting emails after a sizeable quantity of alcohol ftw!

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FAIL

FANBOI ALERT!!!!!!!!!

Haha, is the red cross over his face putting you off masturbating over his image?

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Thinner

It isn't a marksman the Reg sent after Jobs.

One would think Stephen King would appreciate other Steve more.

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Happy

I think

John's reading of your use of signs and symbols suggests to me he is professor of applied semiotics at the university of lousianny.

respect where due.

hey john, jobs is chopped liver.

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Anonymous Coward

Such well informed comment...

...obviously from someone who saw a film about gangsters once and now knows all about them.

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Unhappy

@ John, from St. Louis

"that kind of photo is an indication you want someone injured"

No it does not. Maybe if it was reticle, I could try agree, but not in this instance.

Sorry world, once again I must say "this kind of thinking does not represent the US".

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WTF?

Must be the little voices in his head.

Wow what a looser, guess he was having PMS issues and needed to rant either that or the voices in his head tell him to kill anyone who's photograph have a red 'X' through it.

Just to keep him happy change the color/colour to Blue :)

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Stop

In my country...

That X means you cannot park on top of Steve Jobs.

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Boffin

Not an X

I never saw an X there... I always thought it was a red highlighting with four translucent arrows around on left, right, top and bottom, pointing to the center.

Perhaps that is the thought of some kind of telescopic/infrared shooting scope?

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Jobs Horns

Taketh not the name of Jobs-hova in vain.

Really...sounds like the kind of thing Tom Cruise might say to someone who criticizes that other scamlord supreme, L. Ron Hubbard. Lots of parallels between Scientology and Macophilia:

-Similarity in dress code

-Monomaniacal ideology

-Relative incompetence in subject matter (ask the average Mac-adamian what a PCIe bus is and you'll get a blank, drooly stare)

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Flame

Don't...

Don't feed the fanbois, they bite worse than trolls...

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Alien

Welkum to 'merika

Tinfoil helmets are de rigeur among the more right wing of our number these days. Conspiracies are everywhere, they usually involve the guvmint treating some hapless multinational oil company or bank in a less than deferential way being proof that we're in the midst of a Marxist takeover.

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Anonymous Coward

Septic spotting

Always easy, as the language used* by US based Fotw candidates seems to be accompanied by a strong waft of testosterone, the great outdoors and the the scent of recently discharged firearms. Which is odd really, because the bloke is probably the poster child for Charles Atlas' 'seven stone weakling', with that bluish tinged skin that comes from an eternity licking his bosses arse in a windowless office just below street level, and a pay grade that only allows him to indulge his outdoorist/survivalist fantasies vicariously through re-runs of "The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams", and the odd night time foray into the undergrowth at the local park armed with his prized Swiss Army Knife.

* Apologies to those on the left and right edges of the US, who I'm sure are quite unrelated to the ones in the middle, and do realise that there is a "g" at the end of "bitching".

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Jobs Halo

Without Jobs...

The whole industry of Fart apps, will disappear! Bored office drones won't have things to show off to bored office drones!!! What will be do?

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Boffin

It never crossed my mind...

... to assert that the red 'X' over the pic was a call for harm.

My take is:

1. signifying irrelevance

2. choose not this one

I could be just not seeing the big picture, though.

I like this blue icon.

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Happy

Want to assassinate Steve 'Big' Jobs?

..there's probably an app for that.

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Silly man.

Replace the "X" with a set of iron sights. I'd pay a couple of bucks to see that comment.

If this is enough to get him excited, I wonder what he thought about all the pictures of bullets with "Obama" written on them that made their rounds on 4chan in 2008.

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Anonymous Coward

I agree with his concerns, totally...and while we're at it

Please remove the following comment icons:

Grenade - incentive to commit terrorism

Penguin - incentive to commit beastiality

Pint - incentive to abuse alcohol

Flames - incentive to commit arson

Escape key - incentive to break out of prison

Go - incentive to jump lights (if reading El Reg whilst on the move)

Megaphone - incentive to disturb the peace

Jolly Roger - incentive to commit software piracy or breach of copyright

Thumbs down - incentive to put a gladiator to death

Big Brother - incentive to voyeurism and stalking

'I'll get my' Coat - incentive to pick pockets

Reg tombstone - incentive to kill and bury somebody called Reginald

Thumbs up and Paris - erm...I'll leave that to your imagination

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Terminator

X-Man

I think superimposing the X-Men logo on Steve's hypnotic stare gives him a certain Prof. Xavieresque mien. Fitting for someone with the ability to produce shiny gadgets that control minds.

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Pint

@ all Brits...

Surprised you Brits missed the significance of the red X. Clearly the X is the Cross of St. Patrick and Steve's mug replaces the Crosses of Saints George and Andrews. Hats off, and salute your new Union Jack (thumb-side down, of course)!

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Silver badge
Thumb Down

The guy's probably a gun-tard....

....with a bad conscious.

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Jobs Halo

A response from Apple.

Fix my face. Not that big a deal.

Steve

Sent from my _iPhone_3G_

( Because I don't have an iPhone 4 as I have made the supreme sacrifice of foregoing mine so one more of you out there could get one. See, I 'm a pretty cool guy )

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Joke

@ac 14:45

"unbiased journalism."

Funniest thing I've read all day!

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The cross

I though X marked the spot and was ready to go dig for gold on his forehead

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Grenade

2 words

Tea Party

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WTF?

Hmm

No stopping signs must be confusing. How do I assassinate blue?

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Grenade

X-Phuctor

Must be true... every time I get a glimps of X-Factor I want to rip a hole through my TV

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