Jobsian drones shackle gamer with 'lifetime' iPad ban
A US gamer has been banned from ever buying another iPad. Why? He reached his "lifetime limit". Who knew that such a limit existed? Not The Reg. Using the handle Protocol Snow, the now-banned iPad buyer tells his story of intrigue in a personal blog post. But be forewarned: as he notes, the post "is getting hammered with …
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Filthy lucre .....being beautifully subversive
Use cash, and the pathetic control freaks will not know who you are and how many of anything that you buy?
Reservation
He had to make a reservation to be able to queue up to be able to buy it. Does the reservation process not involve some form of identification? If they have a lifetime limit policy I'd expect they have the ability to enforce it, at least to the extent that it's difficult to buy more than 10 without moving house.
Are you allowed to use cash?
Even if you are, I bet they'll want some address details and proof of ID! Even PC world have started requiring that kind of info if you buy a TV or something expensive.
Btw, what that conversation really reminds me of is the scene in fight club where he's backtracking all the plane tickets he's found and he's trying to talk to the guy in the dry-cleaners.
dry cleaner: I don't, erm, have that information, nor would I be able to disclose it to you at this juncture if I did have that information... (looks relieved to have finished the sentence)
Tyler; You're a moron!
Bad analogy
Buy a TV anywhere and the retailer has to collect your address and supply it to the TV Licensing authority.
PC world
Ask for that infomation for TV licensing and junk mailing. You don't have to hand it over.
It sucks when
something is done for a good reason, but that reason isn't given and it feels like they are just been bad people. :(
Something done for a good reason
Does not mean that the thing being done is itself 'good'. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
You seriously could not understand the reason?
Seriously? Low stock, high demand, iPads selling on eBay for two or three times retail price and selling over seas for many more multiples? Do you get it now? I hope so.
Human sacrifice,
dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Bang on!
"I want to kill everyone. Steve is good, Steve is our friend, Steve is our pal. ... once they get in here (taps head) its all over!"
why bother anyway?
A great example of the weirdly distorted form of logic used at apple. The real mystery though, is why anyone would want to buy a device which is missing so many facilities that have been standard on most computers for decades. There are several more capable tablet devices available out there and usually much cheaper too.
When will people learn not to be blinded by the hype-machine?
@ Michael Admans
"The real mystery though, is why anyone would want to buy a device which is missing so many facilities"
No Michael, the real mystery is why anyone would want to buy a device which is missing so many facilities when they KNOW - KNOW - that Apple is going to steadily release new versions with one extra feature at a time until it finally does have a full set of features - WHICH IT COULD HAVE HAD FROM DAY ONE.
What if I wanted one for each family member?
I have a family of 5, a lovely wife ( And I work in IT how cool is that), two boys and a girl. Supposing I was wanting to buy these over priced, oversized non multitasking A4 Pads for each member of my family so we could all look through our own "window on the world". I could have one, and my wife could, but not the kids? or the two boys and not the daughter or me and the wife?
So Herr Jobs won't let me? one more reason to stick with android and hopes HTC will bring out something- if a touch pad is better than a note book, I'm yet to be convinced....
Day by Day
You'd have to buy 2 iPads a day and the less fortunate members of the family would have to look on Padless until their turn came. God help families of 10+. Maybe Mormons, Catholics etc. could file religious discrimination suites against Apple?
I played around with an iPad for a while last week (thank you Ash Cloud of Death(tm)) - still can't think of a reason to buy one. So daily or lifetime purchase limits are somewhat irrelevant.
Except the Apple Shop droid did say you didn't have to take them out of your bag for airport screening. Hardly a compelling sales point ...
No...
What it means is that, technically, you'd have to buy them over 3 days instead of all at once.
Although to be honest in this case that's probably a good thing. You could use the extra time to contemplate why the f**k you're spending over $2,500 on five identical devices for your entire family.
You work in IT but cannot multiply 5*2?
A family of 5. Each family member may purchase 2. That is 10 iPads per day. Is 10 enough for your family? Do you need 50? Then each member may purchase 2 per day for five straight days. Or an individual may purchase 2 per day. Simple enough. The real problem is trying to find any in stock anywhere. And now you have discovered the reason for the 2 per person per day rule.
They're not A4
Think about it - it's a product developed by a US company. They couldn't possibly use any other format than "Letter"..
I was thinking the same thing...
That's everyone with 3 kids (if they all want one) stuffed then. I can just imagine the screaming and wailing on Crimbo morning because Santa's not allowed to give them one each.
But of course, there'll be something MUCH better (and non-Apple) out by then.
@ Hardcache - you work in IT but have clearly never had sex
Not sure about other families but I dont think my youngest who is four will be wandering into an apple shop to purchase his quota, he is a bit young for a credit card as well!
Paris - she understands the birds and the bees!
Hmmm?
...and yet there are STILL people out there who want to have anything to do with this bunch of control-freaks? Weird. Do they inject some sort of long-lasting hypnotic chemical into the aircon in Apple stores that induces lifetime worship and loss of critical facilities?
Watch out when they start offering free Kool-Aid with each purchase (although the lifetime limit of 2 drinks won't be a problem...)
What do you mean? Netbook?
There is no Netbook, there is only iPad number 6!
scientology and apple great together?
i know i will be grilled and spat on for this question....but i have to ask any how.
had any one noticed that apple cultists are begining to act a whole lot like scientology cultists?
If we believe this guy
The sales lit clearly says two per customer, and the iPad is hardly the only product that has limits. In the states, Prada and other luxury bags have limits. This allows us mere foolish mortals who wish to waste our money on such things the ability to purchase at list price. Most major entertainment events also has limits for the same reason. The idea is not just to clamp down on the grey market, but to limit the ability of guys like this creep to purchase all the stock, then resell at a profit. They may say they are only charging enough to cover costs, but who regulates the costs?
In the case of the poster who asked about the family of five, I hardly think that a limit on 'two per customer' would keep them from buying an iPad for each member. Bring one of the older kids and purchase six iPads, then sell one to help defray costs. OTOH, if I had been one of the fools waiting in line all night for an iPad and I did not get one because one person wanted 5 iPads, or even a family of 5 bought 10 iPads, I might think that was a little unfair.
A philanthropist ships COD and charges only the original purchase price. A business person tacks on 'just enough to cover his or her costs'.
except this isn't a concert ticket
Concert tickets are very finite; you'll have something like 20k tickets per event, and you can't quite fabricate more tickets for those. iPads can be manufactured, and if you want to buy a zillion of them, you should be able to do so.
Limits on products sounds more like the USSR brand of 'socialism' than luxury product sales policies. BTW, luxury stuff is bought on stores, someone stockpiling on luxury products is just wasting his/her time, as those who are interested won't buy them from a "shady guy" selling it at twice the price.
At what point ...
... does aManfromMars use up his lifetime allocation of Reg posts? I'm only asking because I'll miss him.
Although...
... he didn't appear to stick this through his free-association text-mangler. This story must have really got to him.
I haven't seen one of his posts for ages
There's a sad wannabe who calls himself aManFromMars1 who posts sometimes, but I ain't seen the real thing for months now. If I'm wrong & that's really him, then he's gone way downhill
lifetime limit
Dear Apple, you've now reached your lifetime limit - two personal media players and one Jesus Phone means you've now had plenty of my hard earned. That's your lot.
I'll now switch back to open systems, and save myself a few bob.
asdf
The way i see i is that they dont want these ont he grey market, simple as that, it's got nothing to do with people who smoke cigarettes and wear sunglasses cheating the kid's out of their new toys
(wtf)
every christmas now i have to go to an apple store and buy my brother in law an itunes voucher, they always ask for my details even when i pay cash, i just refuse and they look frustrated but theres not much they can do about it.
if you pay cash and refuse to give them your details then how can they stop you buying ore than 2 or 10 or 20?, just goto a different applestore.
this story is terrible by the way, slow news day?
aside, despite is being a strange business model, acxtually reducing your sales willingly, it's kind of up to them if they sell it to you or not
It doesn't seem to matter what Apple get up to.
There's always a few people down-voting criticism.
With blind unquestioning devotion like that no wonder Jobs has some sort of warped messiah complex.
There is obviously something wrong with his mental health if he thinks it’s good business practice to put limits on what people can buy.
Re: down-voting criticism
I liked that. But not as much as I liked the irony* inherent in the two (so far) downvotes on it.
*Or, in this case, iRony......
No no no.
'There is obviously something wrong with his mental health if he thinks it’s good business practice to put limits on what people can buy.'
You (and a lot of others) are missing the point Marcus - Apple are smart. What is the single easiest way to make someone want something? Tell them they can't have it. The more they restrict their products the more they make them seem exclusive - They sell based on style, not substance. 'It must be good as I had to queue for three days and they only let me buy two'.
As others have pointed out that 2 per customer/10 per lifetime thing is actually totally unenforceable, but that doesn't matter - It has done it's job as it has created more free publicity for them with articles like this one further imprinting on the consciousness of society that 'Apple products are so good they can afford to turn away business'. This is really the very best sort of marketing for Apple - It makes people focus on how much they want the product not why they might actually need it.
I think
The two downvotes were people being funny. I almost did it myself, but it is only funny the first time.
@Alpha Tony
You sound like your quoting directly from Jobs' personal delusions.
At least you admit to being a shill, though hard to hide after what has to be the most blatant piece of pro Apple propaganda I’ve seen in quite a long time.
Mine's the one with the rotten Apple.
@Marcus dubious
LOL! Did you even READ my post Marcus?
My point was that Apple make money by making shallow people want their products through clever marketing. I called them smart because they are extremely good at generating fanboi hysteria - even to the point that some would buy any new product they release without even knowing what it is in advance.
The implication in my post is that I think their marketing is actually a lot better than their products. Not really something a 'corporate shill' would imply surely?
Has Apple Become Silly, Evil, or Just Being Cruel to be Kind?
Is Apple simply protecting the world from too many iPads? (I'm sticking with my laptop running Linux)
I'm at my wits end
Nick Lowe 1979
Yes same coat as last time, the one with the Guinness book of hit singles in the pocket
Hmm...
I wonder how they define lifetime... How much would you have to have replaced to qualify as having a nice life... Maybe a liver?
minor problem with corporate procurement
For some reason our office was going to equip the entire sales and account management teams with the jesus brick which was about 70 units.
Thank the great sky jockey that the iCommunism has prevailed and we wont be able to order them now.
Paris - multiple procurement is never a problem for her channel
What is wrong with allowing people to buy an iPad at retail price?
I must be missing something because I know this many people cannot be so stupid.
The iPad is a hot product in an early launch phase.
Stock is very low or out in most stores.
Scalpers are hitting Apple stores in mass to ship iPads overseas at double the face value.
The two per person limit is a way to allow the end user a chance to purchase their iPad at retail price.
Seriously - what person needs more than 2 iPads per day unless they are selling them overseas? If you are really buying it for family then bring in your family so they can reserve their iPad. What is the problem?
but in the USA
if a product has a mis-labelled price, demand that the shop sell you the product for that incorrect price. They can simply refuse to make the transaction with you.
If a store has been repeatedly caught with mislabeled products (ie its advertised as lower price in the news paper or in the store but more at he register ) they have to sale it to you at that price . thats done to punish retails that like to mislead people .
Lifetime limit
I do believe I've reached my lifetime limit for ridiculousness from Apple.
Sure, this was probably just some store employee getting his wires crossed, but why the cloak and dagger "we can't tell you why" nonsense?
More importantly, with Apple's recent control freakish behavior a lifetime limit carved on stone tablets^W^W iPads by the very hand of Jobs himself actually sounds plausible at first glance, which doesn't speak well for the image they've been projecting.
I guess business use is right out then?
What do they limit business customers to? I mean, should some zany business want to provide their 10+ sales reps with an iPad (for example), they can't?
I know there's a shortage of the things, but surely saying it's a lifetime limit is a bit arrogant... Daily limit is reasonable especially at lauch time, but anything more is pure stupidity.
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