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back to article Man coughs to sex with donkey and horse

A 66-year-old man today pleaded guilty in Leicester Crown Court to charges of "buggery of a donkey between February 2 and February 5, 1999, and buggery of a horse between March 15 and 18, 2004", the Independent reports. Joseph Squires, formerly of Overpark Avenue, Leicester, also coughed to two charges of damaging property, " …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If you want a stable address...

    have a stable relationship. Marry a horse.

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  2. Goat Jam
    Coat

    That's Some Performance!

    "buggery of a donkey between February 2 and February 5, 1999"

    Even Sting wouldn't be up for that!

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  3. The Grump
    Coat

    What happens in Boston stays in Boston...

    Too bad it didn't happen on Boston in the good ol' US of A. In Boston, it's legal to marry anyone to any or anything - they cannot discriminate. Marry your horse - fine. Marry your car - fine. Marry 2 guys - it's more disgusting than sex with a horse, but - fine. Marry your pet rock for all they care.

    My coat is NOT the one with the sugar cubes, rope, KY, and rubbers in it.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Why would you need one

      Why would you wear a rubber? Afraid you would get a little horse afterwords?

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Badgers

        why wear a rubber...

        So you dont get horse shit on your cock, gets behind ur bellend and is a nightmare to scrub off. plus the staw fibres can stick in like splinters...

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        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          why a rubber?

          Which is a good reason to choose a lady who takes pride in her hygiene and if your going to get all romantic why not at least share a bath first? Considering overpopulation and the chance of catching something Clorox can't cure these days its safer to date outside of ones species

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  4. Mark York 3 Silver badge

    Missed Opportunity

    "That's not how you make a mule, you silly ass."

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    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)
      Reply Icon

      Re: Missed Opportunity

      Yeah, but often in writing it's very sensible to put your hands in the air and step away from the quip.

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  5. Geoff Campbell Silver badge
    Coat

    I wonder if it went a bit like this?

    Judge: "Buggering a donkey? How low can you get!"

    Defenden, after some thought: "I don't know, your Honour. Perhaps a Dachshund?"

    I'll get my coat....

    GJC

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    1. Tom 7
      Reply Icon

      How low can you get?

      I've got a nice mole that's really dirty!

      Trouble is it eats worms...

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  6. Absent
    Paris Hilton

    some people... a lot of people

    If you type "can i get" into the Goolge search box the top suggestion is "can i get pregnant from a dog". How many people look up this sort of stuff?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Ahem...

      You do realise the Google search is personalised don't you?

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  7. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Joke

    does not have a STABLE address

    LMAO

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  8. Pete 43

    Donkey Ride?

    And only £2 a go.

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  9. Francis Offord
    Pint

    Cor, (or if you are a crow CAW)

    What a waste of energy and time but it could have been worse, it might have been with a chicken. Would that make him a fowl fornicator?

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    hmm

    he aw he aw to know better

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  11. wolfmeister

    hehehehe

    reminds me of that other report some time ago - remember it? the guy was caught shagging a ripe pumpkin in the usa? the report said that the police arrived after a complaint of a disturbance in a garden plot, and the Police said the guy was so engrossed in stuffing the pumpkin that he didnt notice them approaching - the officer said:

    "Sir, are you aware you are having sex with a pumpkin"

    and quick as a flash the guy looked up and retorted:

    "Is it past midnight already!?"

    ha ha ha classic!

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