Readers of the Daily Mail have fired up the Twat-O-Tron at the shock news that a Bromley woman found a Romanian living in her garden shed. Now, we're not sure if Romanian shed-dwellers represent a greater threat to Middle England than their Lithuanian counterparts, but shaken 22-year-old Tilly Newman is determined that that her …
Please please pretty please
Please publish your address and details of any spare rooms, sheds, when you are on holiday, etc as me an me mates fancy a break somewhere else. You too can call the DM to have your photo taken. Mind you we want a share of the DM cash. It keeps 'arry quiet you see, and we don;t want to upset him, as he's a bit on the large side, and loves a bit of the ultra violence from time to time. who knows we might even change the locks and decide to stay. Squatters have rights too. Either way you gets some free pictures, either in the DM or A&E, and congenial company to boot (care of 'arry)
p.s. do you have a sister or daughter?
The picture of James indicating the shed is priceless!
Worth a pound a day, oops wrong paper
Who the hell roofed that shed?
The photo seems to show that the lower layer of roofing felt overlaps the upper one. This is the wrong way round and could cause the shed to leak badly.
British "workmanship" eh? Now there's the real story here Daily Mail!
Never seen the DM twat-o-tron in action before. Clicked the link but the first comment was not at all mad. What I take to be normal service was in evidence below, though, so just a hiccup maybe.
Didn't go further as No Script wanted me to do something called "Allow Daily Mail." Sorry. No. Not even temporarily.
And yes - nice shed.
"Didn't go further as No Script wanted me to do something called "Allow Daily Mail." Sorry. No. Not even temporarily."
You sir, have just perpetrated what is possibly the first "Peppermint-Infusion / Keyboard Incident" in the history of El Reg.
AC because I can't publicly admit to such a girly drink.
T'aint just the Wail and the Torygraph.
No, the Guardian's comment pages attract just as many nutters, Marxists, ecomentalists, people who believe we should eat more trees (no, I'm not making it up), female supremacists, apologists for mass murder so long as it's in the name of socialism....same stories, different nutters, that's all. The Independent, of course, has hired the nutters and gives them weekly columns.
I think the Guardian is 100% worse than the mail, at least the mail commentards i can label as 'don't get out much', the Guardian's are just well see above comment.
how many of the latest comments on that page are from you funnytards?
The last thing we need is any sort of recursive-turdspurt situation.
Why not just let him stay?
Save for the toilet arrangements, he doesn't seem to have been a bother. Or agree that he does a bit of gardening/house-watching. He seems to be self-sufficient, fairly intrepid and safe. Why the first impulse to put the police on him? I thought Mail readers loved traditional values, e.g. Christian values. Isn't there one with a Samaritan in it?
When is it that we see guys like this Romanian as one of us, a human?
...yeah why not?
Didn't this actually happen - Tony Benn was a cabinet minister when a tramp took up lodgings in his shed. Against many cautions from the security services, he let the man stay there.
...just let him stay with you? Or does your generosity only work on behalf of others?
Samaritan ? I think not !
Samaritans were -in their time- considered to be a rather unsympathetic lot, generally untrustworthy, devious and generally unpleasant. A bit like Romanian shed dwellers, actually.
The bloke that carried the other bloke to the nearest inn, tended to him, fed him and left money for him to stay at the in was henceforth known as a 'good' samaritan, i.e. different from all the other Samaritans.
Mine's the one with the funny smell,
Who are the people who contact the gutter press everytime they think something that happens to them is newsworthy?
I did some work experience on the local rag once. To answer the phone was to be forced to listen to some idiot relating a thrilling story that even the most desperate local rag wouldn't print. Can you imagine what it's like at the Mail or the Sun? They must need a call centre for all the eejits.
The worst part of all this is he ire at the fact that the police did nothing to stop him coming back. For a start he wasn't strictly breaking the law by being in her shed, unless she could prove he caused any damage. So what exactly could the police do?
Wonder what Mother Teresa's take on it would be?
Probably a bit different from the lass'es....
Re: Wonder what Mother Teresa's take on it would be?
But only if he was a catholic or converted to catholicism, otherwise he'd have been out on his ear just as quickly.
The Cheeky Girls are Romanian
I wouldn't mind having them in my shed
wanna see my shed?
"She recounted: "He was just lying there quite happily and put two thumbs up at me when I opened the shed door and said 'Nice shed'. It was all very bizarre.""
Indeed. Did he say it with a funny voice, too?
Anyway, if the UK is a place where 22 year-olds not only have their own sheds (and nice ones at that!) but also use them so little that they don't even notice a potential immigrant infection – I think I'll hitch a ride, come over and find me some sweet shed-goodness myself, sippin' me some juice and dispose of it in the right container.
Perhaps if people actually READ the EU legislation...
...yes, it is a fairly free access pass around Europe, but with strings attached so you don't go to a country with nicer weather and sponge off the state there. Like the hot topic for Spanish and French ex-pats who are finding difficulties with medical cover. Like those who took early retirement in their mid-50s. Their E-whatever has run out, they don't get the 121 for being on a pension. The UK ain't gonna pay anything, and France/Spain sure as hell aren't going to cough up anything until you have been living there legally for at least five years. Oh, and living legally means making tax declarations, not saying "I pay tax in England" while ignoring it (and saying to the UK that tax is paid in France, more often than not).
These countries are quite right to tell such people to bugger off. Likewise there is always a problem with a certain type of immigrant, but they find the place less desirable as, eventually, they get rounded up and kicked out.
That the UK hasn't adopted a similar policy is NOT a fault of the EU. It is epic-bloody-fail on the part of the UK government, and every single wanky Daily Fail reader that would throw up their arms and vote NO to EU-anything on principle. If you took your head out of your asses long enough to figure out the actual legislation (four hundred paragraphs all stating with "Whereas..."), they might realise what's on paper is not quite the same as The Big Lie they believe. But it is pointless arguing the case, for when they realise the topic is the EU, they'll switch on "self-righteous prick" mode.
As for the guy in the shed, I'd be rather inclined to say "there's the mower, there's the shears, keep the garden in good shape, mate", close the door, walk away. FFS, if he reckons classy is a garden shed, he's been through a lot more crap than I ever have...
... one of us is a woman, can I have your lovely liberal babies?
And of Course ...
... She loves the media, the soccer am babe that she is... from years ago, all publicity is what do they say?
She looks nice enough (although a bit xenophobic I guess for punting the Romanian) but her brother "Jaws" leaves something to be desired. Surprised the Romanian would risk being anywhere near the blighter.
The story implied the mum likely owned the shed and she just lives in the house with mum and jaws. Either that or 22yo accountants get paid really well....
Anyway, it is hard to get reliable shed dwellers these days. If you throw out all the good ones, next thing you know all that's left are the diseased and violent ones. They should count their blessings, speaking of which, whatever happened to the 6 inch tall Jesus statue? Oh, that's right, she's an overpaid corporate accountant and probably rubbished it. Bad karma that would be, get a violent <insert nationality here> mass murderer in the shed next at that rate.
Why has no-one asked...
...what sort of public order offence he was out on bail for? And why the police didn't at least try to keep tabs on someone who was presumably due in court at some point?
I do sometimes think that bashing DM et al (while quite amusing at times) distracts us from asking slightly more relevant questions about the state of our country.
I used to live near Peterborough, and hearing stories from my old friends in the area about swans being killed and eaten on the Nene makes me sick.
And no I'm not a DM reader.
Gypsie music in the background
>>swans being killed and eaten on the Nene makes me sick.
That's most probably Gypsies, not Romanians. According to first-hand impressions, Romanians are generally ok. They also seem to be ready to shoot Gypsies on sight. They also loudly complain about the EU considering Gypsies a "persecuted minority" instead of a nonintegrable pest ..err.. I meant a friendly, music-loving wandervolk.
Hold on my phone's ringing. Must be some anti-racism outfit.
I'm a romanian and reading stories like this makes want to shoot some gypsies for going everywhere, embarrassing us and then claiming they are Romanian. I think is kinda the general feeling around here when it comes to gypsies
PS: yes...the shooting thing is a figure of speech :)) I don't own a gun :(
put, not out
He was *put* on bail for a public order offence i.e. living in someone else's shed. There is nothing in the article to suggest he did anything wrong before.
Anyway, why does the thought of eating swan make you sick. It is a big edible bird like a turkey or goose. It may be illegal to kill one, but not sickening.
My mate Sarah found she had a bloke living in her garage last year. She can't be bothered putting her car in it so it's not used. He'd moved his sleeping bag and bits and bobs in and appeared to be kipping on the floor.
She got hold of an old mattress that somebody had spare and had it put in there one day while he was out. Don't think it ever occurred to her to wonder about his nationality. To the best of my knowledge she is not now, nor has she ever been, a reader of the Daily Mail.
two sheds jackson
Great article Lester, but you've overlooked the technical angle. What was this shed? A hinkson double shindled pine 8x10 or a Wickes super deal 500? did it have brass or iron hinges and what is the door action like? (does it always stick at the bottom?) Creasote or varnsh? please, please remember to include the important teck details.
Also where's the Paris Hilton angle? Is this Rumanian taller than her? fatter? hairirer? more Rumanian?
Everyone is a threat.
Being of a certain age, I remember my gran letting the French "Onion Johnnies" stay in our shed gratis. Wonderful, mysterious characters to a child.
She's alright, eh!
Read the daily mail article...
... look at those photos, its not an article about a shed dwelling Romanian vagabond, its a Coca Cola advertisement!
Bet she looks like a Banshee when she chisels all the makeup off at night.
And at least her shed-squatter did his bit for the recycling.
That said, I don't know how I'd react in that situation. I'd probably be a bit scared, and then angry, and then compassionate - "WTF are you doing here??? No, really, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LIVING IN MY SHED, YOU BASTARD! Oh... Well... Ummm... Cuppa tea?"
Yet another eastern european shed dweller?
and the same question arises 'a shed with a toilet?'
Maybe the Romanian didn't know the words for "nice rack"
I'd love to smash her backdoor in.
I mean her "back door", not her back door.
Am I the only one to have spotted that Tilly Newman is really quite cute - apart from the fact that she reads The Mail, thus rendering her out-of-bounds for me?
I'll get my coat ...
I'm a little confused...
...he lived in a /shed/ between January and March? As in a non insulated, non-heated thin metal box? What the flying spaghetti monster is the average temperature there during these months? In Edmonton you’d be /dead/. There would be several week-long stretches at -30c and many more at -20c.
Kick him out? Heck no! Give that man a medal for outdoor survival!
Also: doesn't England have any homeless shelters? If not, why not? If you do, why don't they have enough beds?
Shelters vs 'independent' living
"doesn't England have any homeless shelters? If not, why not? If you do, why don't they have enough beds?"
Sounds like England has so few homeless people that stories like that are newsworthy?
Here in many parts of the States, homeless people are everywhere, crashing in just about any unused building or structure that they can find. If they're lucky and they play their cards right (and if they don't stay for too many weeks at a time), they can do so without anyone knowing or being unduly bothered by it (sanitation issues notwithstanding).
Many specifically *avoid* homeless shelters because, I've heard many times, they don't want to "pick up critters" - yes, you can get lice from cushions, bedding, etc., and it's quite common in some of the shelters. Plus in shelters they have to listen to strangers snoring probably an arm's-length away, have to breathe airborne diseases (TB is not uncommon, as well as more everyday infectious agents such as colds/flus from strangers coughing and sneezing all night long), get woke up constantly by the guy with the bladder problem who has to pee every 30 minutes, or else they *are* the guy with the bladder problem and the shelter's bathroom is too far away (shelters take a dim view of keeping a chamber pot beside your bunk). Not to mention the crazies, and the bible-thumpers (if your god is so damn great, then why are *you* still a drunk?), and people freaking out going through the DT's because it's been too long since they've had a drink, etc.
Besides, some homeless are rather stubborn and proud, and they like to find their own places to crash for the night. They view the shelters as being for the lost-cause late-stage winos that pass out in the middle of the sidewalk, who are too feeble or feeble-minded to find their own safe place to sleep. The more 'independent' homeless don't want to be associated with that.
She's HOT ! ! !
id love to live in her shed ;-)