@Simon Banyard
"There are a small(minded) vociferous few that don't like Apple or it's products. Thats ok."
It's evidently not okay in your case.
"Trouble is they seem to think that their opinion is correct, often ignoring facts."
Opinions are opinions, facts are facts. The fact that Apple are rabidly control-freakish over the iPhone is a fact. Whether you think this is justified or not and/or worth complaining about is an opinion.
"Worst still, they seem to think that their opinions somehow matter! Brilliant! Truth is, they've never used the device/software concerned. They may have messed about with it in shop once or twice, and in their tiny little minds they are now experts. It's getting old guys."
Oh dear, is the criticism of your beloved phone getting to you?
Face it, we're fed a constant stream of how damn great the iPhone is because- seemingly- it's the iPhone, in a similar manner to the journalists-foaming-at-the-mouth obsession with Twitter. (Not entirely bad, but nowhere near as radically new or interesting as the media seem to think).
"Why so much attention on a company that, user base-wise, are relatively insignificant?"
Because as far as the iPhone goes, it's still the most significant smartphone, gets a lot of publicity, and is getting to critical mass territory.
"iPhone only accounts for 16% of the global *smartphone* market, less in the global mobile phone market."
So-called smartphones are multifunction devices that just happen to be based round phones- or rather, what were formerly phones. If the PDA market hadn't collapsed a few years back, they'd probably have evolved into something similar, albeit from another direction.
So comparing them to "vanilla" phones is pretty misleading.
"Macs [..] account for between 5% and 10% of the global computer market [yet] continually score highly in customer satisfaction surveys, yet you lot guffaw [etc]"
The Apple criticism seems to revolve primarily around the iPhone. Questions about whether it's overpriced aside, the Mac doesn't seem to attract as much attention.
"You are all like the kids that think they are really cool at a party. They sit in the corner mocking everyone, thinking that they are better than everyone else, whilst in the real world they are missing out on the fun and just look stupid sat in the corner."
Your assumption is that the iPhone's detractors are doing so for the "cool kids" reasons you give, not because they genuinely dislike Apple's level of control (and the owner's lack thereof) and the closed nature of the platform that *will not* let you run anything Apple don't want you to, unless you play silly b****rs with jailbreaking and updates.
"At the end of the day, THEY ARE JUST FUCKING TOOLS. Computers do a job."
Odd given the endless appstore novelty item hype and the fact that this device is less effective at its "job" because it's so locked down.
"Apples solution does it one way. Don't like it? There are other options, just don't bellyache about it constantly."
So it's okay for "fanbois" and the media to harp on about it constantly, but if anyone points out its flaws (or rather, those of its ecosystem), it's the old "don't like it, don't criticise" schtick?
"One of the contributing factors to this rhetoric is the perception of "smug Apple fanbois". Take a look in the mirror chaps."
I don't consider myself an anti-Apple (anti-)fanboi. I've given consideration to buying a Mac on more than one occasion. However, the iPhone (and Apple's attitudes towards it and its owners) have soured my opinion of the company. I never saw (nor expected them to be) nice people in it for the money, but to my mind they're no better than MS nowadays.
FWIW, the iPhone would be a good enough device at heart, but is horribly locked down.
"At the end of the day, no-one cares what you think..."
You evidently do.