back to article Nation's moral guardians snap over 'shag bands'

Parents be warned: If you spot your seven-year-old daughter sneaking off to school sporting innocent-looking "cheap coloured plastic bracelets", it means she's actually inviting the opposite sex to snap her "shag bands" in return for sexual favours - part of a "terrifying wave of promiscuous behaviour" which threatens to …

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Anonymous Coward

Expect...

Expect Ed Balls to respond, his is the Normanton constituency, Normanton is geographically part of Wakefield. These two are neighbours in constituency terms, both coming from Wakefield.

I've had to give these two people IT support before, they really do think they're the moral guardians of society and are the last people you'd want to trust making decisions surrounding this sort of thing. It wont start and stop at a ban, it will without a doubt result in something stupid like all retail staff having to sign the sex offenders register if they dare try sell them to anyone under 18 or even simply forget to check their ID.

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Coat

Riiiiiggghhhht.......

Now I wonder who got the glitter band...?

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FAIL

You're not supposed to just reprint email forwards

What, is The Sun trawling Snopes for stories these days? Or just printing anything they're emailed?

Tomorrow's headline: "Bill Gates gives fortune to email forwarders"

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Hold on a sec...

Doesn't this make the wearing of a band an offer of sex. If the kid doesn't wear the band they are exempt from the 'game'. Seems a bit like if you can catch me you can <whatever> me.

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Paris Hilton

I got a red one

Postie left it this morning. Any takers........?

Ah well.

Bust of Paris (literary-wise it's the nearest you've got) because where my sex life is concerned it's apparently a case of Nevermore.

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Joke

RE: What colour did Roman Polanski get?

Hi ! leave Polanski alone. He is famous and a (apparently) talented film guy. So what he did or diden´t was ok. Its not like he is a commoner like you lot who would be sick disturbed individuals that needed to be shot, castrated and hug til it really really hurt.

(Joke alert because some are to stupid to tell whether it is or isen´t a joke)

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And...

Smoking causes paedophilia, heroin addiction and suicide bombing...

Just ask the Rockall newsdesk... ( sadly missed :-( )

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Bronze badge
Coat

So ...

Let's not ban them, simply vet the kids and require they have the right licence to wear each coloured ban. Revenue from vetting fees for the government, they get kids on the database and used to being on databases. It can be integrated with the school's lunchtime fingerprint database, so policy evidence of 'joined-up thinking'. The database information can be sold to the sex industry proper to raise an extra load of cash, and, indirectly, VAT. Good for government, good for business, good for everyone.

I don't really understand the moral outrage; if kids are opting-in to offer and receive 'sexual favours', they'll find some way to make that known. Banning the bracelets won't stop that. Arguably it's better to know who is 'up for it', and it wouldn't be such a bad idea in the adult world.

Mine's the one with a pocket full of wrist bands. Catch me if you can; I'll be the one standing still, whistling "One Night in Paris."

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Anonymous Coward

@ Obvious Robert

I live in Yorkshire, I've lived here for 14 years.

Yet I agree with you, entirely. The problem is people here are much lazier, generally more stupid, want things done for them.

This is evidenced by the fact that it is both the Labour and BNP heartlands. Really, there's a reason these two parties (which combined represent all that is lazy and ignorant) flourish here- it's a centre of ignorance, moral outrage and panic at the slightest things.

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Happy

"....but that it had told her to take a running jump."

No sense of humour some people.

I'd have sent her a black bracelet in two halves and told her to take a flying f***.

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Stop

If they're being sold

next to the newsagent's football sticker boxes as "Shag Bands" with instructions then YES, it's wrong to let kids buy them. Yes, kids'll fool about and come up with whatever games they can to make the guys seem less prickish ("Haha! I snapped your band. See you behind the bike sheds at lunchtime!") and the girls less slutty ("Oh, deary me- you snapped one of my several gold bands. Now I've GOT to do all that with you- it's schoolyard law.")- and that only comes about because of the prudish way we're brought up.

BUT exploiting underage sex for profit should definately not be encouraged. By all means stick them in the booze aisle or sell them at pubs/clubs/etc. for unimaginative adults to enjoy.

If they're just sold as bands and the kids are coming up with their own meanings then fair enough- it's an innocent product. It's not like it's a binding legal contract- if they didn't want to they (a) wouldn't do it and (b) wouldn't wear them.

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Grenade

Croydon

Not Yorkshire. The people trying to make money from this are based in Croydon. Here are their profiles, each reader can make their own mind up about the "Team" who are running the company promoted on the site.

http://www.time-bomb.co.uk/store/go/about-us/

Any readers in Croydon who are not happy about this can of course go pay them a visit or even protest outside the shop. This will ensure even more publicity.

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Flame

Legacy of the Britards

"What I think we have here is the commercialisation of childhood."

Yes, despite the "it's not for real" protests, which I'm sure are largely correct, what we have here is the exploitation of all ages: adults who buy The Sun because they think it's "news"; children who are seen as a consumer "resource" to whom stuff of all kinds must be sold, whether that stuff is appropriate or inappropriate, despite that group actually having negligible income of their own. Combine this with blatantly commercial media and what passes for entertainment amongst a corrupt clique of unscrupulous producers (and other denizens of Soho), and how surprising is it that the herd all moves in the same undesirable direction?

What the "instant politician" (a soundbite in a can!) fails to mention in the predictable outburst is that all this is fuelled by the contemptible education policies of the political mainstream, most of whom would rather see the whole education business outsourced to a bunch of toffs and/or theotards so that the state's only role is to fill in the propaganda blanks in whatever syllabus eventually gets delivered to a bunch of kids whose only role in life will be that of a compliant Sun-buying consumer who prefers Brand Jesus to other brands, thus making speculative foreign wars so much easier to legitimise with "popular support" as the gawping masses jeer for "satisfaction", more cheap shit to buy, and another juicy scandal to fill in the intellectual void around them and their mates/marriage/co-workers.

Why can't the member for Wakefield - a whip as well, representing yet another idiocy of the Lord of the Manor era political system of the Britards - just resign and lead all the other career politicians out of the door in the process? After all, they have all presided over the "commercialisation of childhood" and a lot more besides without doing very much about it.

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FAIL

the whip

since this MP is a whip.. shouldn't they ban whips, after all they're always associated with deviancy. She could then exclude herself from being anywhere near any kids..

It truly beggers belief that instead of explaining to the parents in her constituancy that this is just a load of old rubbish she wastes parlimentary time by bothering with it..

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Anonymous Coward

Old

this idea has been around for about 13 years (it was around when i was a child), like many things, its all talk, maybe a snog happened as a display of social dominance (having the balls to actually do it)

then again, it depends entirely on the intelligence level of the children.... they are all little shites and slags these days... maybe they actually take it seriously?

let your own paranoia guide you to your own truth with this one :)

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Black Helicopters

arse

Wonder what you have to do for a brown band then....

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That's Nothing

There's this new craze sweeping the nation, it only started yesterday.

Smack bands, if someone manages to get one of those off you then you have to smoke crack and inject heroin...at the same time. You can't not do, it's the rules, you have to do it, and then eat poo.If you don't then you are saying you are gay.

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Paris Hilton

In my day

We just used a bottle?

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old news

As someone else has pointed out, this has been going on since at least the 90's, when I was at secondary school. The only new/disturbing part of it is the age of the kids now involved. Someone has dropped the ball somewhere. Parents, most likely.

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Grenade

Nothing ever changes

When I were a lad, we used to smack the woman we were interested in over the head with a large stick then drag them back to our caves. Some of these folks grew up to be famous mass murderers and tyrants, but you never heard a bad word about any of them.

The parents of kids of today don't know they are born. Bring back national service is what I say. That'll teach them about proper sexual perversions in dingy bars in Germany and Burma. Once you've seen Maxi Ping Pong do her special trick, "shag bands" will be the last bloody thing on their minds.

Bah humbug!

Hand grenade, because that was part of Maxi Ping Pongs other trick.

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Mary Creagh

Bound to find at least one useless waste of space politician eager to jump on this passing bandwagon......

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Stop

Good luck to those boys who become gay adults!

They will get very confused when they have to swap the shag band color codes with the hanky color codes...

Those who will pick somebody with a yellow one - hint: it's not a hug - will certainly get an unwelcome surprise when they get down to it. And good luck to those who meet somebody sporting a teal blue one!

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Silver badge

@Alien8n re. First I've Heard

"..Kids at the local school here are far too busy sacrificing goats and selling their souls to satan..."

...and they are no damn good at it. When I was their age I'd materialised three major demons and sacrificed my cousin. All these kids do is mooch around in capes trying to look cool, standards have slipped.

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Happy

Pictures, or it didn't happen

I just couldn't resist since no one had asked. Thanks, Ms. Moderatrix. <3

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Coat

@Adam West

"Someone has dropped the ball somewhere."

I think you'll find that none of them have dropped their balls, that's the whole problem.

/coat

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Thumb Down

*tard alert.....Again and I repeat.

For Heavens sake, it's a hoax.....A myth. Based on an old urban legend wideley debated on Snopes back in about 2003...Get a grip people, since when has the Sun been a newspaper or known at all for responsible research ?

Jebus..... IQ's are surely falling around here.

Thumbs down anyone on here that believes this drivel.

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All I can say is...

..at least they don't follow the handkerchief code colours! Or perhaps they do and all those children wearing livestrong bands didn't accidentally wet themselves. Urgghhh, so wrong.

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Gold badge
Coat

Wakefield

Yeah, they have enough toruble with undeage sex she'd be desperate to do something about that.

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Silver badge

When I was a Lass...

... it was the colour of M&Ms in your lunch box.

Those of us who recognised chocolate as a valid substitute for (pretending to) sex made a killing swapping one of the 'best' colours for two - or even 5 - of the more mundane ones.

We need a ZZZzzz ... icon.

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Anonymous Coward

adult wearing one colour wristband ,equals ---------

criminal offence as seeking to groom . Maybe ?

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IT Angle

Consequences.

You've all been very, very naughty and need to report to Matron for a cold shower and some washing out of mouths.

This sort of thing will not be taken lying down.

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URL Says It All

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/2658958/Bracelet-which-means-your-child-is-having-SEX.html

Hmm, not sex, but SEX. Sensationalism at its very best!

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dl
Happy

Missed out...

They didn't have any of these when I was in Secondary School.

Mind you it was an all boys school so maybe that was for the best.

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Wasn't ths a storyline on Grange Hill?!

... if not, it should have been :)

(shows my age!)

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Bronze badge

Interesting what you find...

It appears that the MP for Wakefield instigated an investigation into cronyism by Lib Dems in Islington council, back in her days as a councillor in Latteland. That particular investigation, by the Standards Board of England, lasted over three and a half years and found no evidence of corruption by the accused Lib Dem councillors. I'm sure the one million pounds plus of public money which this costs was well spent. In an interesting 159 page ruling the tribunal described Ms. Creagh as an "insensitive witness, lacking in balanced judgment and one who was prepared to make assumptions about honesty and integrity of others without any proper basis".

The ruling also said "The tribunal considers that her evidence was heavily influenced by her political motives." Lacking in judgment, thinking the worst of others? Who'd have imagined it from this story...

Just to avoid Ms. Bee worrying about the libel lawyers getting in on this, then here is a link to the Guardian article from which I have extracted these quotes.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/jan/05/localgovernment.politics1

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FAIL

I wish

there was an issue I could get outaged about on behalf of a group of people without properly understanding the cultural importance or even, the facts behind it...

Good to see the newsrags are being outraged on behalf of people..

Mines the one with the gold band....

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Anonymous Coward

Meh

they had these when I was in school in the 80's with a similar outrage back then too.

Back then, they only came in black (as they were just rubber seals). The black bands back then meant the same as today, but being that they only came in black and people not being very PC back then, they were called niger bands not shag bands. I'm guessing that the name shag bands came about in the 90s when people became more PC and the manufacturers started making them in a variety of colours.

The truth is no-one did anything with anyone they didn't want to, and it's a bit late to be banning them.

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Joke

Just a thought.

Thinking back, was there anyone else here who saw the title of this article and clicked on it expecting to find that it was something to do with the Rolling Stones (or more likely some modern bunch of wannabees)?

<straight face>

Not that I would ever dare to suggest that a great British institution such as they have ever been involved in excessive fornication, underage sex or anything else that might cause an outburst of fulminant rage in the tabloid press.

</straight face>

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Troll

Let's imagine that this is true, widespread, etc.

So some kids with low self esteem do naughty things ultimately because "their mates tell them to".

It's gone from "Have you met shaun? You should shag him cos he's fit and he fancies you"

to "Shaun snapped your band so now you've got to shag him." Errrr, same thing.

If there is even the most remote problem with this it's that kids are prepared to surrender their rights to a game.

Blue haired troll because EVERYONE knows what it means if you've got a blue haired troll.

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Gates Halo

Re: Band On The Run.

So now we've got a comment involving kinky band activities, the moderatix, and the words "Jumping On".

Bill Gates with a band round his head, because I know _just_ where a packet of shag bands left on the haloed desk would end up, an the thought makes me wince.

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@ Oliver Mayes

But it needs to be remembered that the scaremongers (some of them advisors to government) claim that "Children Never Lie".

Might I suggest they have never seen a child, much less been the recipient of a child's lies?

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Black Helicopters

Money, money, money ...

Here's a way out of the Recession ...

Make all wearers of shag bands subject to CRB checks and take their DNA!

More money for the Treasury and more details for the Über Database!

Job Done!

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Boffin

Hmmmmm

I note, with disdain of course, the close correlation between this eroto-braceletian sensationalism, and the Sun's impromptu side-shuffle in political alliegances. Coincidence? I think not.

Moreover, it is in the public interests to know - would David Cameron hug a hoodie sporting a yellow band?

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Unhappy

was the same in the late 70's and early 80's

but they weren't plastic they were [usually] made of tightly twisted coloured wool and therefore (without a sharp blade) difficult to break!

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Paris Hilton

back in the 90's

I thought the idea was tacky. Yes I was a late developer but damn i'm proud of it. back then only the sluts of the class who[r]e them and I doubt much the same has changed. this recent round was just to sell papers, and yet here I am reading about it online first.

paris because i'm sure she snapped a few.

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Coffee/keyboard

Brown Band

You sir owe me a new keyboard

and almost a new job !!!!

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