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back to article Extra large condoms hit UK supermarket shelves

Tesco started selling a new range of Durex Extra Large condoms today, in what it insists is a response to surging consumer demand. Tesco's healthcare buyer claimed that customer research had show there was "growing demand for an extra large condom" with the store apparently receiving 200 calls last year from customers demanding …

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Coffee/keyboard

@Too little too late...

ROFL!!

You owe me a keyboard and monitor. Awesome post.

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FAIL

Well I won't be buying them...

As I used to think I had a pubic hair until I pissed out of it

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Grenade

Skynet runs the ad server, again

I've got a Jaguar ad appearing next to this story. Hmm.

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Troll

Re: Valid Question

> Does this have to do with the rise in immigration?

I don't think so...

Condoms 'too big' for Indian men

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm

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Coffee/keyboard

RE: Andus McCoatover

And for the other angle on insults, if a girl was a bit of a stop-out and presumed to have a cavernous, erm, crevice, her boyfriend allegedly had to strap a plank of wood to his backside to stop him falling in.

Either way, I think sales will rocket, with Porsche drivers buying two packets - the XLs and the normal, throw away the XLs and decant the normal ones into the XL box. False advertising, yes, but no more so than the wonderbra or fillets!

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Silver badge

More thoughts

How can they electronically test Durex?

And why did those 200 wallies call Tescos and not Durex?

And will Durex send me some free samples if I mention Durex again?

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Thumb Up

(perhaps) more qualified than most of your readers

Being a spender of the so-called Pink Pound, I feel perhaps, I've had more experience with the Male Member than most of your readers - on both sides of the pond

And boys, rest assured, the Brits have nothing to fear from their long distant cousins.

Well, not in the one eyed purple headed spitting trouser snake department anyway

Your body hygiene, teeth and muscles need work tho.

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Coat

sizing

In keeping with the 'vanity sizing' we're seeing on clothes these days, surely condoms should come in 'large', 'extra large', and 'surely Sir is exaggerating?' sizes. :-)

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Anonymous Coward

Only 1mm wider?

Guess I'll have to keep waiting then...

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Anonymous Coward

condom width/diameter

The standard way of measuring the "width" of a condom is the width as it lies flat. Sometimes they call this measurement the "diameter", which is a bit confusing as it's half the circumference, really.

Yes, it's a shame they don't always print the dimensions on the packet, but the width isn't all that much use to the customer as it's only one factor. There's also the stretchiness, the texture, the type of lubrication, etc. In practice you in any case have to experiment to find which type is most comfortable. It does make a difference, in my experience.

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Paris Hilton

Too late

Never had much bother with the length of johnnies but could do with a few with wide fitting.

You might get some of the buggers over your head but I can't get some of them onto my chum.

And it's not nice of they're really feckin tight.

But now I'm married and trying for a baby it's bit of a waste to me quite frankly.

P.S. the phrase up here is "Like a sausage in an alley".

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Gold badge
Joke

Re: Head issues.

Gosh, I commend your bravery sir.

If I was going to say something round here that outed me so publicly as a dickhead, I'd probably have posted anonymously.

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Flame

WTF!!!

bit bloody late ive got two kids now !!!!

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Penis enlargement pills

Yes, penis enlargement pills DO work, but it damn well hurts inserting them.

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Bronze badge
Joke

59 comments. Can we get this to 69? Appropriate?

I agree with Hazel 'upstairs'. My Old Cigar's but 6" - we can't change that even with pills, spam ads., "Meds" (god I hate that term. Sounds so stupidly 'merkan) etc, - , but no need - can't get more than 3/4 in till I hit her cervix, and the missus doesn't like any more.

I'll stick with the 'regular' size (read:small) - not that at our age we need to.

OK, old joke. Man at a supermarket checkout asks the young girl cashier for a packet of condoms. "Which size"? "Dunno" - so she gropes him. OK, XL, and sells him a pack.

Next guy does the same and gets the reply "L", and gets a pack.

Young teenager sees this, and tries the same trick. A second later, cashier goes onto staff intercom "Mop and bucket, aisle 2".

OK, coat icon. I know.....

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Anonymous Coward

Sizing

From the rubber link in the article...

"From the makers of Durex, the world's leading condom brand, with over 70 years of quality experience. World's # 1 Condom Brand! Durex XXL provide protection you can trust. It has 215mm length and 56/63mm width."

So the US XXL are 215mm long. Surely that's the normal 205 plus the 10mm being offered for the UK XL.

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Headmaster

@Mahatma Coat

It's so frustrating trying to make decent puns in or on Latin. Sometimes you think no one learns the language anymore.

Oh yes ... no one does learn the language anymore. O me miserum.

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@Michael O'Malley - Latin.

<<Oh yes ... no one does learn the language anymore. O me miserum>> (And no-one learns to phrase English anymore. "no one does learn?? FFS!)

(Totally OT, but...) You'd be surprised!

Try http://www.yleradio1.fi/nuntii/id50.shtml

A Finnish Radio station putting out news in Latin??? You couldn't make this up!

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Coat

But Shurelly

The size of the hammer is not important....

It's whether you can hit the nail on the head.....

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@Sebastian Brosig

"creaming off extra money"

Brilliant, quite brilliant! I take off my hat to you sir!!

:-)

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Paris Hilton

sizes

Eg. You have a nine inch boner and a seven inch condom.

Will the juice leak ? Eh, No. You have 6 inches of coverage from the exit point !!

So the point of XL condoms is what ?

Anyway - let's be honest, she's probably on the pill and it's going in her mouth anyway. Just like Paris (coz she's a good girl).

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UK vs USA

"And in my own personal experience I've found that US condoms are generally smaller than the regular British ones, and have happily purchased XL hats during my travels across the pond."

I came (huh) here to say the same thing. The 'normal' ones are painfully tight over there.

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Pint

ex lg con

Sounds more like an American car...

Room to stretch out, but still no HEAD-ROOM!!!

HEAD IS HEAD!

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