Coffee is bad for you - oh wait, no. Coffee raises your cholesterol. No wait, that butter and eggs. Have some imitation butter and cut back on the eggs. That's not it. Imitation butter is actually worse for you than real butter and while eggs contain cholesterol they don't raise your cholesterol level. But, watch out for red meat. Oh, but red meat has enzymes in it which allow you to eat it without being a health risk. Or, is it? Oh, screw it - let's all do some more research on how all Italian food is bad for you.