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back to article Welsh mum amazed by Marmite Messiah

Aficionados of Jesus simulacra can add a Marmite lid to the list of places the Son of God has chosen to manifest, following a Welsh woman's discovery of the Messiah's likeness formed from the delicious tar-based spread. Claire Allen, 36, spotted the astonishing face as she was poised to poison son Robbie, 4, with Marmite on …

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Joke

JC

“I just looked at it and immediately thought, that’s Jesus Christ"

I looked at it and immediately thought, Jesus Christ.

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J
Boffin

Marmite?

No clue what that is like.

Now, why people think like this:

"We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and it’s comforting to think that if he is there, he’s watching over us."

Instead of:

"We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and I think that if the bastard would stop watching over and jinxing us things might improve. Even better, instead of watching, he might actually DO something, please? Bloody hippie..."

@Flugal

"I can't for the life of me think WHY it is always believers who "see" faces of Jesus in things."

Actually, there has been research published recently talking about how what the brain expects to see actually influences the neurons *outside* of the brain, in effect shaping the data to look like what it expects to see. From Nature 459, 7 (7 May 2009):

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v459/n7243/full/7243007a.html

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@Sarah Bee

I vote yay!

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whut?

I'm guessing the marmite fumes got to her then. Is it Friday already?

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re: I'm Glad

At least if it'd been found in dog poo, the medium would have been a bit less offensive...

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“People might think I’m nuts"

Yes... Yes, we do.

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mmmm

marmite

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Flame

God....

God once revealed to me the ways in which we all should live. He did this through the medium of alphabetti spagetti on toast.

It read:

apqmnefioqnqefuikrn edsis wewosjnwweosclwekd a wcitrnmgtiovv nhwssnwsidvthpnb acichjnedcoislkjswnef

I of course eat the tasty message so I have no proof but I urge all non-believers to take heed.

Consider yourselves warned.

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Anonymous Coward

That's nothing

I had a bowl of spaghetti that looked just like the FSM....

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Thats not Jesus

The image on the lid of that bottle of used axle grease is a picture of an unshaven Ron Jeremy warming up his tongue before going down on one of his co-stars in one of his epic movies.

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Go

Oh for fucks sakes

It's not Jesus, it's Mohammed. And a Jihad on her for taking the piss out of the paedo prophet!

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Hand it over

I'll eat Jesus! Lick him off slowly, savouring his salty goodness. Who knows, he might even like it. Should be good for a miracle or two, right?

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marmite is ok

But it's nowhere near the levels of awesomeness of Vegemite.

/yes, I'm an Aussie, how can you tell?

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How the hell

did the lid of a Marmite jar become so covered in Marmite?!

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Stop

Who knows what Jesus* looks like?

:: There are no paintings, etchings, sand-drawings from his* time

:: There are no hi-res photographs or other reliable images

:: He's* never done any of the talk-show circuits yet...

:: He* doesn't have a FarceBook page...

* A 'person' alleged to have actually existed in a physical form, on THIS planet. Not to be confused with his Dad who's pretty much invisible most of the time.

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Re: marmite is ok

I always found vegemite to have a horribly artificial after taste. Marmite is much nicer in my opinion.

And you can even buy it up here in Norway, so it can't be *that* bad.

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@Maliciously Crafted Packet

Because it taste like dog shit or at least as I imagine it to taste.

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Marmite

If we're going to discuss marmite then we need a pool of vomit icon.

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Marmite?

s'alright I guess... but it's Vegemite makes the taste buds go round!

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Faces in windows

"...there are a few times I can think of when I’ve seen the face of Jesus in a window..."

Nope, that's just the local bearded perv looking into your bedroom. Point him in the direction of a sheep-field and he'll leave you alone.

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I, for one,

welcome our new yeasty-based overlord(s).

> It wasn’t a new jar

Damn right; look at the right of the lid - is that discolouration actually mold?

Sarah - I see you have the power of double-iconnage. Impressive.

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Marmite. Once loved never left.

Of all the great accomplishments of the British Empire, Marmite is the greatest.

Given the source of all Marmitey goodness, the image is clearly of

The Lord Yeastus

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Alert

Was Jesus a cook ? Cause he keeps showing up on food items.

Potatoes, tomatoes, marmites, burritos, kit-kats and so on.

I thought he was a fisherman. At most he should show up on fish and Fishermans Friend.

Or is he just trying to tell us: "bring food, I'm hungry" ?!

You know the ancient civilizations used to bury their dead with pottery and food and other stuff ? We thought that was silly and primitive, but maybe they were right. So in case Jesus is starving, I say we bury some (still alive) christian zealots with a bunch of burgers, wings, steaks and hotdogs. Bury them in fries and then poor cola and vanilla flavored shakes on them. This should keep Jesus happy for a while.

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How does anyone know...

...what Jesus (if he ever existed) actually looked like? The pictures we see in magazines/bibles/church posters etc., are simply artist impressions of what they think or hope he looked like, with absolutely no idea what he really looked like - there were no cameras 2000 years ago! AFAIAA, there are no 2000 year old paintings of Jesus in existence, so as far as we know, he could have been 6 feet tall (highly unlikely back then) and really good looking, as many of these artist impressions would have us believe, or a 4 foot shortarse with buck teeth, odd eyes, and a hunch back. We simply don't know, do we?

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Coat

Who needs tastebuds?

THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU!

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Marmite = Disgusting

That is all.

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@Sarah Bee

Talking about breakfast AGAIN Mistess Bee?

First bacon sandwiches, now marmite..... :D

I personally am ambivalent towards marmite.

Where's my "thumb in the middle" icon?

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Joke

I've seen Adolf Hitler in my bathroom mirror!

(OK, only when I shave a stupid moustache for fun, comb my hair a funny way, and shout "Sig Heil" so loud the cat shat herself).

Can I sell my mirror on e-Bay? Probably to some gullible 'merkans. That'll be 300 million potential customers, right?

Friday icon required.

(Moderatrix-Marmite is food of the Gods! Us mortals dare not utter it's name. Oops.)

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Anonymous Coward

@Was Jesus a cook ? Cause he keeps showing up on food items.

Maybe it's not Jesus after all. Has anyone seen Captain Birdseye recently?

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@ J

"No clue what that is like."

Marmite was developed as a by product of the brewing industry - it's thick gunge of the consistency of axel grease with a salty, yeasty taste. Most popular on toast although it can used in other ways. Very popular after the war as it wasn't rationed and is packed full of nutrients.

Sometimes popular with pregnant women (I've seen one licking table spoons full of the stuff). Personally, I can take it or leave it, but most people either really hate it or really love it - in fact their advertising is based entirely around that concept.

For me though, it has to be Bovril - that's the stuff to give the troops. Spread on bread, added to gravy, used as a basting agent - my favourite is turned into a hot drink (just add boiling water) then slap a good old dash of sherry into it. That's what built an empire!

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It looks more like one of the BeeGees.

Or Lemmy out of Motorhead. Or Eric Clapton during his hairy phase. Or Mike Ratledge out of Soft Machine. Or, basically, anyone with long, dark, wavy hair who has ever sported a beard and dark glasses.

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Vegemite or nothing

Marmite is made from cat excrement.

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