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back to article Pig plague 2.0: Can't spell 'pandemic' without 'panic'

The internet has responded to the absolutely positively inevitable pandemic of swine flu with typical restraint and a decent sense of proportion, providing everything from context-sensitive maps to an iPhone application for those preparing to flee for the hills. The irksome fact that the majority of people who contract the new …

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Alien

it's only an alien invasion

65 million years ago their ancestors crashed their spaceship into the Yucatan Peninsula and now that their numbers are sufficient their supremacy is imminent.

Let me be the second to welcome our 6-point-licence-owning, alien, viral, swine-flu overlords.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: it's only an alien invasion

>Yucatan

And that's given me a nice Blockheads earworm. Ah, that's better.

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Coat

I'll tell you some good news

I now know how to empty a single decker bus

Sneeze and cough a bit, then turn to the wife and say

I wish we were in Mexico it was much warmer there last week

I've already got my coat, cause it's warmer in Mexico

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Coat

Quick..

..call me a hambulance!

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Silver badge

Meh

Looks like some big pharma already wasted the huge pile of cash they made from selling craploads of useless drugs to various goverments -tinfoil-hat citizens- with the avian "pandemics" stuff, and are in need of another mammoth cash injection...

Watch out for our next PR-fuelled "pandemics": the Rat Flu (2011), Cockroach Flu (2012), Earthworm Flu (2014), Giant Jellyfish Flu (2017), Laser-equipped Shark Flu (2018), Philodendron Flu (TBA)...

Looks like you only need a few tens of unconfirmed cases to use the word "pandemic" these days. The last one didn't even qualify for the more moderate "epidemic" FFS.

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Mad Max XXIV?

After the Flu Apocalypse is done.. and all those that live in squalor, don't have access to basic medical supplies like aspirin, don't have clean drinking water, don't have access to healthy food, don't have doctors and hospitals that will accept sick patients and are probably already seriously ill from the kinds of diseases that hang around places like this.. when they're all dead and only last vestiges of humanity survive (around 6 billion or so) I hope that you all remembered to keep a journal of your trials.

Record every can of dog food you ate, every flu-plague mutant you dispatched and every sexy blonde damsel you rescued from cannibals. Because the best one is a dead cert for the next Mad Max movie, and I've got a head start on all of you by switching to a canned dog food diet..

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Anonymous Coward

mass hysteria

All this panic from focusing on the wrong figures

The most widespread recent flu outbreak was in 1918, the figures break down that 28% of the population became infected and of the infected 2.5% died from the disease/complications.

If that was repeated then you'd have a 3 in 10 chance of catching it and then 3 in a hundred chance of dieing so overall 0.7%.

Don't get me wrong that's still a lot of people and at an individual level a tragedy for families

It would though create slightly less panic than the reporting along the lines of x hundred people dead.

And these numbers were before the advent of modern healthcare systems and disease control procedures so you'd hope that even though the infection rate was still high the death rate would be lower.

The biggest problem in the US is that people with no or limited healthcare don't go to the doctor and you miss the early stages on the spread which makes containing it and treating it harder.

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It is surprising...

...that the various western gubmints haven't seized the opportunity to blame it on Iran or Al Qaeda or the Taliban. Very odd. If anything, it lends it more credence but ultimately I agree with Pierre, it's probably a big pharma false flag mission. It's like every kid has ADHD now or some other condition that 20 years ago would've been treated with a clip 'round the ear but now needs copious quantities of meds, and everyone's depressed and needs useless anti-depressants that only induce side-effects but no relief from misery, and they've even got an obesity pill which is truly staggering; can't you just stop eating pie? Cut down on the cake perhaps? More meds, more meds.

There's no news like sensational news, it's the new truth you know. Well done El Reg for showing a bit of restraint and cynicism in a Diogenes kinda-way. Let's wait and see shall we and as someone else said, the human race could do with a bit of a cull and I don't mind dying as long as it's not too painful and is relatively quick.

I have a snotty cold right now too, bugger.

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Coat

Famous last words?

da-dee-a-da-dee-a, that's all folks!

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Alert

Was in China for SARS

Bit of a non-event. In the end, CARS still killed two orders of magnitude more people during the 'epidemic'.

It was pleasant to walk around without the usual crowds, though. And always getting a seat on the bus.

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@David Ralston

"Pan (dem) ic .. Odd.. Those dem's are in the middle of a panic."

Dem from demos, people, pan all. In this case its got to be so apt. People in panic.

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Look on the Sunny Side

Ordinary flu kills between 250,000 and 500,000 annually.

Must check up on Pneumonia as well.

Stay well.

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a
Coat

Ahh , Before Web 2.0

In the days before Web 2.0 , didn't we have other terms for "User Generated Content", like:

Hearsay, Rumour, Scaremongering, Old Wives Tale

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Linux

I like the odds...BUT

Your still FAR more likely to be killed by the NHS' filthy wards. C.Diff and MRSA kill more EVERY year than RTA's and Swine flu combined 10,000+ v 3000 every year.

Yet the politico's only rabbit about speeding. Just cleaning the wards WILL definitely save more people than lowering the speed limit to one mph and putting camera's on everyones head.

Yet they wont clean up the NHS wards because that costs money. They would rather make cash from sCamera's and fines etc.

This isn't a maybe save lives like sCamera's, this is a provable sure thing. Hospital Aquired Infections are 100% preventable with just basic common sense hygeine.

Makes you wonder the REAL reason why HMG does things doesn't it.

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If Susan Boyle catches swine flu...

...then presumably the whole media circus will implode. At least until the next Big Thing comes along. Next week.

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Linux

Title

Does anyone remember that time we all died from avian flu? Good times.

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U.S. no paid sick-leave a problem

AC wrote: "The biggest problem in the US is that people with no or limited healthcare don't go to the doctor and you miss the early stages on the spread which makes containing it and treating it harder."

The other thing is, many of the millions of low-income or minimum-wage workers keep on GOING TO WORK every day for as long as they possibly can in the early stages of things, because they have *NO* PAID SICK-LEAVE and they can't afford to miss any pay by taking time off from work just because they felt a little woosy or what they thought was just a cold (to *start* with, before it gets worse).

But from what I understand (generally speaking) they can still be CONTAGIOUS to everyone around them since those viruses are airborne and harder to avoid (as in, breathing).

The worker pops some cheap generic "cold medicine" (kept on hand for such occasions) to help mask the initial symptoms, you go to work and try not to let on that you feel like crap even though you're about ready to fall over, and do your best to make sure the boss doesn't notice, because you don't want to get sent home and lose a day's pay. You might be able to pull that off for some time. So you spread contagious *airborne* viruses to your CUSTOMERS and the rest of the general public - thinking of restaurant jobs, hotel/motel workers, some cashiers and the many other low-paid or minimum-wage "service" jobs that typically don't have any benefits such as paid sick-leave. It's common.

It could become a problem if a nasty enough airborne-contagious virus was involved. You'd just have to breathe a few whiffs of the same air as one of those early-stage sick workers, then you take the virus/disease home with you and spread it to your own family, friends, neighbors, your own coworkers, etc., and it goes on from there.

In the case of some new quickly-spreading highly-contagious airborne virus, seems like it could be a problem. The government tells sick people to stay home, but they go to work anyway (as far as possible) because they need the money.

I also wonder about the more urban tightly-packed populations we have now, which would speed up transmission, compared to (at least in the U.S.) the still comparatively less-urbanized populations at the time of the 1917/18 flu. You'd think we modern humans, as descendents of survivors of the 1918 flu (I lost some ancestors to that), would have some built-in genetic immunity, but maybe it doesn't quite work so neat and tidy like that, who knows.

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