Stiff and erect???
<<"a giant naked golden Angelina Jolie" .... hmmmmmm .... y'know., it's so cold down there that everything gets stiff and erect >>
Joking, or what!?!? try a Finnish Sauna a 90 degrees C, then jump with your mates into the avanto (hole in the ice) for a minute. Get out, and you instantly realise "all men are indeed equal". Bu*gger that!