back to article Hitler ordered Luftwaffe to spare Blackpool

The reason Hitler didn't do the decent thing and order his Luftwaffe to reduce Blackpool to smouldering rubble has now been revealed: The Fuhrer wanted the resort as his "personal playground", as the Daily Mail puts it. Adolf's chilling plan to watch triumphant troops goosestep down the Golden Mile before hoisting a swastika …

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Let us Not Forget

Let us not forget how many people died in that war !

I don't mean to berate any of you, and as we all know we have some shithole towns in this country.

The fact of the matter is that horrendous numbers of people were killed in the most evil/inhumane ways. And for what ?

The guys on our side fought for freedom from oppression so we could say what we wanted and do the same. What have we got now ? Anti terror laws which pretty much allow you to be locked up indefinitely without appeal ? Hmmm doesn't seem too far from precisely what our guys fought against ? I don't want to see anyone killed but if we keep on ratcheting up the anti-terror law/response we will all be living in single cages and fed shit until we vote labour, which is now without the cage. Sooner or later it will be an offence to vote anything other than labour. mugabe has been teaching brown a thing or two I will have you know ..... which really does provide an accurate forecast for our economy.

If you want to express a complaint about the current shithole status of your town :-

lodge a complaint with your local council who will express their delight at your feedback

vote 'em out

take them out in a field and have them shot with PFY frozen paintballs (BOFH)

then bury the useless fuckers in one of the many potholes in the roads they are charged to maintain.

Thank you for freedom of speech !

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Black Helicopters

Mr Hitler, come back, all is forgiven

Please, feel free to bomb the god-forsaken place!

It's a total eye-sore on the landscape.

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@Smallbrainfield

"Blackpool isn't irredeemably shit, it just attracts a lot of people who think they can behave like arseholes just because it's Blackpool. You could say that about anywhere where they allow lots of British people to get horribly drunk."

Yeah, it's commonly known as Great Britain or the UK.

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Bronze badge

every day is like sunday...

'nuf said.

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Anonymous Coward

A further reminder Hitler was an idiot

With little taste, apparently. Given the scale of aircraft production, I wonder if anyone reminded him of this little foible when Dresden and Hamburg were turned into giant barbeques.

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IT Angle

Note on @Homard

I could take issue with a lot of what Homard says however one burning question stands out - Should the word 'shithole' be hyphenated?

It always looks to my like it has an aspirated 'th' when written as one word and 'shit hole' should be reserved for the Eton-Cambridge-Civil Service set. Surely 'shit-hole' is clearer as far as pronunciation is concerned though where I come from in the glorious Midlands 'shit'ole' might be more appropriate.

Your thoughts please.

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Joke

Extract from the Hitler Diaries.

"Another fucking awful day! That useless pair of incompetant bastards Speer and Hess have done it to me again. 'We have a great weekend for you Mein Fuhrer. You're going to love it Mein Fuhrer. It'll be the best weekend away ever Mein Fuhrer. It's what you've always wanted Mein Fuhrer.' Sycophantic, snivelling little wankers the pair of them. You know where we went? Fucking Nuremberg. AGAIN! BASTARDS!!

All I want is a weekend by the sea, donkey rides, maybe a rollercoaster. A deckchair on the beach and a glass of warm beer. Full English breakfast and a landlady like Benito Mussolini would be nice. What do I get? Thousands of fucking people carrying fucking torches *and* I have to make a fucking speech! What sort of holiday is that? It's a bloody good thing I don't trust them and packed my best uniform 'just in case'. I felt like a right arsehole changing out of my swimming trunks, flipflops and knotted hanky backstage though, I don't mind saying. Nobody laughed, but I'll bet the miserable fuckers all wanted to.

Note to self: That's it. As nobody else round here can organise a pissup in a sodding brewery I'm planning everything myself from now on.

I wonder what the seaside resorts are like in Poland? I'll have a look at the map tomorrow"........

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Happy

@Homard

Settle petal.

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@Homard

hells yea

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Nev
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Black Helicopters

Hmmmmm...

... didn't the BNP hold their "Hate Week", erm..... I mean party conference there last year?

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Anonymous Coward

Blackpool

I live in Blackpool, are you sure it wasnt bombed, it sure looks like a shithole to me

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Black Helicopters

Re: Let us Not Forget

After watching "The Nazis: A Warning From History", it is really quite frightening how a series of circumstances can lead to an unhinged dictator taking over a modern western democracy.

Even more frightening is that you can see the same conditions starting to be met here and now. We have an incompetent and deeply unpopular government (who are slowly eroding our civil liberties in the name of "security", providing the infrastructure needed for a police state dictatorship). We have a limp wristed and equally incompetent Opposition. We have a worsening economic and employment situation and an extreme right-wing party waiting in the wings (BNP) who are pandering to people's fears regarding jobs and immigration.

Yes, I know its very unlikely, but five years ago I would have said it was was *impossible* that such a thing could happen here. You can actually imagine people standing in a polling booth thinking, "Labour, not again, no way. Conservative, don't make me laugh, bunch of naughty schoolboys. Lib-Dem, too left-wing for me. BNP? Hell, what have I got to lose?"

And its the New Labour eeejits that have brought us to this.

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re Ottawa

Ottawa has to be vastly upgraded to become a wasteland. I spent an eternity there one month a few years ago. Saskatoon, in February, is more lively.

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Flame

@daily mail

daily FAIL

nuff said

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@Hugh_Pym

Ah yes, it's good to see that Reg readers can take a non-issue and drill down to find the really important issues that lie beneath. On this topic, I thought all Brits pronounced "shit-hole" with a glottal stop and a silent 'aich? For true?

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Happy

re Ottawa

Nah. Anywhere French Canadian. I've been in them there parts many times and a bigger shit hole(s) you couldn't dream about. Montreal. Pah! Urinating on it would be doing it a favour.

@Frumious Bandersnatch

Actually, if you're referring to the gentle folk from the eastern part of our Glorious Capital, you'll find that the glottal stop is, errr, stopped. The 't' is quite pronounced. The aitch may be dropped of course. That most illustrious of gentlemen, Alan Ford, AKA 'Bricktop' from Snatch exemplifies the vernacular, heard to good advantage here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAGlUUAmjxk

and here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xByF-3twHFQ

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Shurely Shome Mishtake

Isn't it actually a lost script for an episode of Dad's Army?

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Unhappy

Getting away from the crowds of Enlish

Fifty years ago I moved into a new house in a town in New Zealand and a Pom moved in next door.

He said that he had moved 12,000 miles to get away from Poms and he had ended up surrounded by them.

True , lots of Poms and Dutchmen left Europe for NZ , as Europe looked like a shit heap at that time, due to Adolf.

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Flame

Blackpool

H'm. And the Brits think the Americans have their indecipherables. Last I heard it was a slum neighborhood. Of course, that was in literature dating from 1700 or so. Might have been a change or two since.

--Glenn

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@Frumious Bandersnatch@Hugh_Pym

Just to clarify.

South of the Watford Gap - Glottal Stop as in 'Shi...Ole'

To the North - Dropped 'h' and lost final consonant as in 'SHIT'Ole'

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die Tagespost

A little light googling confounds expectations regarding the Mail's Hitler/Nazi obsession:

"Hitler":

Daily Mail - 14,800 occurrences

Telegraph - 15,900 occurrences

Guardian - 21,000 occurrences

"Nazi":

D.M. - 33,000

Telegraph - 16,400

Guardian - 33,000

Not sure whether this is a function of the relative sizes of the websites. It's hard to estimate the quantity of Nazi/Hitler material as a percentage of the whole.

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Come friendly bombs and fall on Blackpool.....

..doesn't quite have the same ring to it, although as a sometime visitor to the "Las Vegas of the North" I can heartily applaud the sentiment.

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