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back to article Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

Our recent shock revelation that South Dakota is awash with American Sterotypes™ did not go down too well with one gun-toting Yank. To recap, here is the terrifying truth as captured on Street View: American with hunting rifle and liquor caught on Street View And here is our stateside chum's take on our analysis: At least …

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MESSAGE FROM, H.R.H. THE QUEEN

I saw this the other day. Seems somehow appropriate.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Dear Subjects

In light of your declining failure to handle your economy and your recent inability to nominate uniformly competent candidates for office of President, and thus to govern yourselves, We do hereby give notice of the revocation of your Independence, with immediate effect. (if necessary, look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will now resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Utah, with which she remains unamused (that means “doesn't like”).

Mr Barak Obama is to report at his earliest possible convenience (which is a polite way of saying he is to get his ass over there) to Windsor castle, where he will take up duties as an assistant butler at Buckinham Palace.

Mr George Bush junior will be assigned to a nursing home for the terminally bewildered in Bognor Regis, where accommodation has been arranged for his comfortable stay.

Mr George Bush senior will attend a course in effective birth control. We do appreciate this is a little late in the day, but it will give Us a certain satisfaction.

Our curent Prime Minister will assume the same position with respect to America. He will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded forthwith.

To aid in the return of your country to the status of a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will now spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (if necessary,look up 'vocabulary' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

2. There is no such thing as U.S. English. English is the language we speak. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter “u” and the elimination of “-ize.”

3. July 4th will be continue to be celebrated as a public holiday in order to acknowledge the end of your unsuccessful 250 year experiment in independence.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready yet to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or spending hours with a therapist then you are not ready to shoot grouse.

5. In view of the above Rule, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side of the road with immediate effect. Using roundabouts while you learn to drive on the left may help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. At the same time, all your forms of measurement will go metric with immediate effect. We had to do it 20 years ago and we discovered that it works better than the old imperial system anyway. Because your monetary system is already metric (you did get that bit right) you will be permitted to maintain the dollar as your form of currency. We may however decide to brighten up those dull old green and black notes were some exciting new spring colours and pictures of ourself

8. On the subject of money, you will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been mistakenly calling gasoline) of roughly $10 per gallon. And you will commence using the Imperial gallon. Get used to it. “Checks” will be referred to as “Cheques.”

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable, as (based on their rather small population) they are the greatest sporting nation on earth and this can only be due to something they put in their beer. They are also still a part of the British Commonwealth - see what it has done for them. American drinks previously known as beer will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine” allowing them to be sold without risk of further confusion until such time as you get used to drinking proper beer.

10. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having One's Royal ears removed with a cheese grater and second only to Dick van Dyk’s mutilation of what one assumes to be Cockney in Mary Poppins.

11. You will cease playing that game that you call American football. There is only one kind of proper football; the game you (mistakenly) insist on calling “soccer”. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further; you will cease playing baseball. It is not reasonable to hold an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JR. It's been driving us mad.

14. You will refrain from describing things as “kinda like”. The subject is either similar to something else or it is not.

15. Equally, you will refrain from using the expression “Have a Nice Day” It never sounds as if you mean it and, frankly, it gets on one’s tits.

16. You will be permitted to retain the verb “sucks” as a derogative term. One rather likes that, and One may consider using it Oneself to describe Charles.

17. You will immediately stop using “could of” when you mean “could have” or – possibly – “could’ve”. Similarly “should’ve and “should have”, “would have” and would’ve” are acceptable. “should of” and “would of” are not. It makes One’s toes curl

18. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

19. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed with vinegar not with tomato sauce (which you mistakenly call catsup.)

20. Tea will be properly brewed. Teatime will begin promptly at 4:00 p.m. daily, with proper cups and saucers and never mugs. High quality biscuits (which you mistakenly refer to as “cookies”) and cakes, plus strawberries (with cream) when in season, will be served at tea time.

God Save the Queen!

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Beating up small countries

That's a laugh coming from the septic tanks, we in the UK prefer to refrain from beating up small countries and torturing people. We don't need guns to keep a stiff upper !

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Coat

How to annoy gun toting Americans....

in 2 easy steps...

1) Print the image of the "Stars and Stripes" flag on a tea-towel

2) Use said tea-towel to dry the dishes

3) Watch as the rest of his neak and head turns red..... :D:D

Mine is the one with the kevelar vest inserts...

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Heart

hmmm... I see what's going on here

I was initially disappointed in this FoTW - left me feeling decidedly 'meh'. However, after reading the comments, I'm thinking this was just bait for an even better FoTW! As of my posting, I'd say Don is in the lead.

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Coat

The meaning of CAAF? Here you go (maybe)

You guys overseas probably aren't familiar with this, but in *some* parts of the USA you are a bastard if your father is not also either your brother and uncle.

And if the USA means US Army, then that means Peter Kelly couldn't get into the US Marines.

The meaning of CAAF? Here you go (maybe):

http://caaflog.blogspot.com/2006/09/golden-caaf-award.html

Keith CANADA

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Unhappy

It's truly sad

To see the FOTW is a weak-kneed wanker and able to so easily stir emotions on both sides of the pond.

I'm sad for everyone getting so bent out of shape by someone with a single brain cell.

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Coat

USA = Uses Semi-automatic Arms

title says it all

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Jobs Horns

Americans still think they and Napoleon won the War of 1812.

"We kicked your ass in 2 wars"

Americans still think they and Napoleon won the War of 1812.

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Anonymous Coward

Clubs and knives are better...

and a lot cheaper too, plus you can pick them up almost anywhere! Brill!

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Paris Hilton

CAAF

"You sir are a Coward And A Fool." Maybe?

Paris, because there's some Paris moments going on here somewhere...

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Alert

Hmm guns protect do they?

So Mr Prat, has the murder rate all but disappeared since you all got armed? Have people stopped threatening each other? Do shops still get robbed? Have wars stopped since we all started arming up?

Much like your passion for captial punishment, not much of a deterrent really?

Just clean your weapon while it's still loaded, do us and your fellow countrymen a favour, FOAD!

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IT Angle

It's not the lack of guns...

in the UK, it's the lack of anything really... The continual grasp at being relevant and the constant criticism of all things different are what makes the UK so sad. The fact that there is no room in the UK to pee, let alone shoot, does not mean that other countries do not have sufficient space to own and shoot a handgun for no other reason than target practice.

Perhaps some day the UK will be relevant again. In the mean time keep nudging and winking at each other about how clever you are.

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@Steve Evens

As the sometime owner of a scary evil black military style semi-automatic assault rifle, I will admit that the only practical application I foresee for it would be the killing of another person.

I live in a bad neighborhood. You don't really have the same gang violence problems over there, as your inner city minority population is much less of a problem. I have a big scary gun because I live near big scary people who may someday decide to rob me.

I will sell it/get rid of it when either police response time comes down to <10seconds, or when there are no more violent youths who want my stuff. (never)

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Anonymous Coward

Couldn't the yanks at least SHARE what few brain cells they have?

What is it about Americans? They claim they have the free-est and most democratic democracy in the world (i.e. they're free to elect the multi-millionaire of their choice).

BUT... they don't feel safe in that god-fearing utopia unless they're carrying a firearm?

The UK is far from perfect, but at least we don't all live in a media-generated fantasy world - or export our violent fantasies all over the globe. (All right we used to, but that's another argument - whatever we were in the past, it was never 'yellow').

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Coat

Ah Jeez...

Just when I was getting through a week with El Reg commenters NOT pissing all over teh Murkans, and the DOOFUS MISTER KELLY USA goes and spoils it again for everyone.

Let the Yank-bashing begin.

Again.

Mine' s the one with the Glock

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Silver badge

I was wondering what that noise was.

It was the sound of knees jerking all over the world ...

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LOL

While I agree that the man pictured in the story gives off a bad impression, and I'm not sure of the background to the story, I'm utterly amazed that folk s in the UK actually embrace the loss of the right to defend yourself, forcefully if necessary, against either criminally engaged civilians or... wait for it... oppressive government. Did you not see the utility in personal arms when the United States broke away from the mother country? Do you feel your government will never need to be persuaded, again forcefully if necessary, to do something against the will of the citizens? 'Military Firearms' are indeed meant to kill people. The 2nd Amendment in the US does not protect hunting, although, guess what? Hunting and 'military firearms' perform the exact same task, regardless of how much plastic, wood, black anodizing, or pink pastel paint you throw on it. It protects the right of the people to personally and individually own a tool which may be used to overturn an oppressive regime. I guarantee this post will get flamed, but really people. Just open your eyes a bit.

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Paris Hilton

I am ashamed

All my fellow 'merikans here and that's the best FoTW people could come up with. I swear the quality of our frothing lunatics posting on internet message boards is getting lower all the time. Where is kemph (kamph however it's spelled, I can't be assed out to look it up at the moment) and his "run away from the databases" rant when you need him ~le sigh~. This just isn't up to the standard Mr. Kelly do try harder next time.

Oh and for everyone that got their panties in a bunch over the article and the picture all I can say is ODFO, grow up and get a life. Personally I found the whole thing very funny then again unlike some I don't seem to have permanently left my sense of humor behind when I was born.

Paris cos even she is smart enough to tell when El Reg is taking the piss out of inane stereotypes.

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Oh no, more "at least I know I'm free" tripe

I have to wonder just how they managed to pull such a slick marketing job on the US constitution such that every American believes it to be the ultimate guarantor of freedom and everything that is either in or might be in it is somehow a God-given right.

It isn't clear that the constitution gives an individual the right to bear arms and even if it does that means the constitution is wrong. The right to life is surely more important than the right to have toys. I worry that the US must be a notion of retards that they cannot see the constitution is a ridiculous document that serves to oppress and endanger the American people rather than give a cohesive set of proper rights.

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Anonymous Coward

@sean McPherson

if he was in fact in the car park of a gun shop, then he would have been in the ideal place to get some sort of rifle case for it. Even wrapped up in paper or in any sort of bag would maintain the vague pretence of safety.

In the UK you can own guns, just not handguns, or automatic weapons, and you need to be licenced, and can't buy them in any corner shop. Also if you walk around the streets with them in your hands you will be shot by the police faster than an unarmed Brazilian electrician

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Coat

Most of us aren't that defensive...

It's just the ones that do are amazingly loud, obnoxious, and so damn annoying. Plus they tend to be violent, so if one of us tells them to shut up they'll beat the crap out of us (as beating the crap out of people who are different is as much of a US past time as setting cow shit on fire and breaking post boxes with baseball bats). Most of it is the bully like personalities that have been supported by our society here over the last several decades as "outgoing, successful, and honest" even though they tend to just be full of crap and jerks (mostly due to neglectful parents who, with blind eyes, say their child is an angel, even after trying to rob someone in my own house with a knife during a party). They now run our governments, media, and most corporations... joy...

You can tell the good ones in gov, media, and most companies by the look in their eyes as they have broken spirits :P (I wish I was actually kidding)

HELP!!! I'M TRAPPED IN A MAD HOUSE, WITH NUKES, AND TRIGGER HAPPY FREAKS!!!

To add to the rest of the resurgence of the idiot spirit of US sayings: "Thems fightin' words." When you hear that, get your knives ready, because anyone who says that has very little skill at debate and argument ;P

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Coat

"Hey, this is Europe. We..."

Ah nu school civilisation versus old school civilization spats, time to drag the Ken MacLeod quote to play: (Source, sadly wikipedia, but it's probably all true)

"Hey, this is Europe. We took it from nobody; we won it from the bare soil that the ice left. The bones of our ancestors, and the stones of their works, are everywhere. Our liberties were won in wars and revolutions so terrible that we do not fear our governors: they fear us. Our children giggle and eat ice-cream in the palaces of past rulers. We snap our fingers at kings. We laugh at popes. When we have built up tyrants, we have brought them down. And we have nuclear *fucking* weapons." – Ken MacLeod posting to USENET rec.sf.arts.fandom 28 September 2000, in the discussion of Robert A. Heinlein's quote "The cowards never started and the weaklings died on the way."

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Tim

I'm gonna git me a gook!

Yeeeee haw! Ah got mah gurn, an am gonna shoot me some charlie ass.........

i assume i am correct in my pronunciation, but please give constructive critisism, as i was never, nor will i ever be involved in a pointless war against communism.....

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Flame

Re: Real men don't need guns.

Doesn't the fact that you have the highest rate of home invasions, violent robberies, and knife crimes makes you all a bunch of namby pambies?

Mean streets of Britain indeed - ruled by criminals while the sheeple just run around trying to stay out of the way. Even a moron like Wacky Jacqui has made little b*tch*s out of you - you people are sad; Nelson would be flailing his remaining arm in despair at the state of the "UK" (yuck) today. Sardine, guv'nor!?

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Has he ever met a Brit, or come over here?..

I see the art of sarcasm and wit is still unknown in parts of the States...

Tell me again why, according to the NRA, hunters need armour piercing ammo for their rifles in the Sates?

When was the last time anyone saw a deer wearing kevlar body armour?

And there's a reason the majority of the populace don't carry guns over here.. WE DON'T NEED TO.... The majority of licenced gun holders over here use them for sport.. we don't brag about how big our guns are, what we've shot with them, etc, as it's all very passe..

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or..

Go into any Tavern in Oz and ask for a personal display of a King Punch.

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Cowards?

I personally fight off the wave after wave of muggers, house invaders and terrorists with my bare hands or a rolled up copy of the FT. The UK decided to give up it's handguns as they took the challenges out of everyday life.

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Coat

@ as usual

"So Mr Yank, if you own one, what exactly are you planning it use it for?"

Allow me to penetrate all the bullshit. I'm gonna use it to protect myself from my government, if I should need to. You can go grab your Guy Fawks mask if you want, but I'll be loading some clips.

Get it?

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Coat

Usual mistake by the Americans

They have this odd sterotype image of us as stuck up middle-classes who would rather walk away than confront any issue, which is fair enough since it was the image we ourselves were trying to present while conquering every poor little nation who were unfortunate enough to be on our sailing routes..

Thing is Americans dont really take note of European Sterotypes of the British which is that of lager fuelled destruction machines who would rather rip your face off than look at you.

And the reason we dont NEED guns is because we have brought whole European citys to a stand still with nothing more than plastic garden furniture, and if you give us guns we tend to hit things, Where as Americans tend to unload really excessive amounts of ammunition and on a good day hit Mexico - which might explain the influx of Mexican immigrants, nothing to do with looking for work, they just think it will be safer if they just stand in front of whatever it is your aiming at.

But I do find the whole idea of gun control a futile idea, everyone likes to point out that America's Murder rate is through the roof, and it is if you count the US as one country and not spread of through lets face it country sized states with a population not that much less than you EU. If you share the murder rate by states, the murder rate isnt that much higher than the UK - which as everyone likes to point out has very tight gun control. So the only real diffrence is we tend to put effort into killing someone rather than limp wristly point a gun at someone.

*\. Mines the one with the knife in the pocket, because you have to get them before they get you.. hang on.... sorry that was our reason for going to war with Iraq - My mistake.

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@Elmer Phud

>How is it that the Brits are yellow?

Maybe he was talking about teeth?

In any case, I have to join the inquiring minds around here:

Cockfighting Across America Foundation?

Children Affected by AIDS Foundation?

Chapel Allerton Arts Festival? <- at least this on is from England

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Dead Vulture

God I love the US vs UK flame wars...

They single-handedly make the Reg worth reading! Let me try one out:

"US citizens are a bunch of SUV driving, McDonalds eating fatties, who don't know squat about geography, and charge gung-ho into every war indiscriminately killing everything when just a little good old British charm would do the trick!"

Ha that was fun. How about another?

"UK residents are just a bunch of tea-drinking sally pissants who gave all their rights to the labour governemnt, and are upset about handing the role of global empire to the Americans!"

That should get everyone charged up! Now all we need are some South Africans, Kiwi's, or Ozzies the jump in... anyone?

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Anonymous Coward

Guns are illegal in the UK?

Holy sh*t. I'd better put mine in a stainless steel container with loads of supplies, and bury it somewhere that can only be found with a sat nav.

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Alert

Author is an ignoramus

Of course, we all know that, but I think most of the posters missed the reason. Here in LeftPondia, gun ownership isn't a privilege that the government could revoke at any time, it's a right, built into our Constitution, via the Second Amendment. Now, if he'd written that here in America WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS, he'd be right, but as it is, he's misstated the facts.

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Bronze badge

An American Lady who knows better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0xSGMSz45M

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Gates Halo

CAAF

For those still wondering, Lester means Coward And A Fool (CAAF). However:

Acronym Definition

CAAF Children Affected by AIDS Foundation (since 1993; Los Angeles, California)

CAAF US Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces

CAAF Chapel Allerton Arts Festival (Leeds, England)

CAAF Cairns Army Airfield (Fort Rucker, AL)

CAAF Cockfighting Across America Foundation (homor; Jim Rome Show)

As for USA I'll point here: http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/USA

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Stereotypes??

I am from South Dakota; albeit from the eastern part of the state (Rapid City, where that photo was taken, is a good 250 miles away). I have spent time in Europe, though not in the UK proper. Before things REALLY get crazy, here's a few things that people who have never been in this part of the world might not realize.

Owning firearms and carrying them in plain sight is still legal here (so far).

In this part of the country, it is not at all unusual to live 50 miles or more from the nearest law enforcement personnel. The state of South Dakota is over 400 miles east to west, and over 200 miles north to south, with a total population of around 800,000. And over 200,000 of those people live in two "cities", Rapid City being one of them. Doesn't leave a lot of people for the rest of those "wide open spaces".

We use firearms for hunting (we usually eat the meat from what we hunt), and for getting rid of predators (mostly coyotes in this part of the country; they have a taste for livestock; in particular young cattle (calves) and lambs). The livestock is our living; losing a calf or a lamb means you paid for feeding and caring of the mother for a year with no financial return. The idea of using guns for self defense, while romantic and "cool" in many ways, is not an over-riding motivation for most people; more of an afterthought.

When I looked at the picture, my impression was "Must have been picking up his gun from the retailer or repair shop on his way home from work; that looks like a thermos (vacuum bottle) he's carrying in the other hand."

We consider a firearm a tool, no better or worse than the person in control of it.

Anyone with access to land with wildlife on it will normally hunt some sort of wild game at some time during the year. It is a very informal arrangement compared to our impression (which may or may not be accurate) of the situation in your part of the world.

If you think the media is an accurate portrayal of our society; would you like us to think that "Faulty Towers", "Are You Being Served", or "Waiting for God" are accurate portrayals of your society? I consider them as probably based reality, with the stereotypes greatly exaggerated (Or am I wrong?)

Anyway, I like your web site, and I did get the humor in the original article; it was funny. I like to get information from sites outside our country (Your site, BBC, etc.) to act as a counterweight to the nationalistic bias that is inherent in any nation's media.

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Coat

@Steve Evans

You are definitely not a a freaky gun nut Steve.

A Barrett 50mm you say?

What exactly are we hunting here, Diplodoci?

I'd offer a gentle suggestion that their .50 (inches see) or 12.7mm rifle will probably suffice for anything else.

If it's a home infestation of Velociraptors a very nice man will sell you one of these.

http://www.impactguns.com/store/761226023074.html

I know Steve's a Brit so like me he probably has a cricket bat instead. Excellent against Zombies.

I'll get my Umpires coat

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Made my day

@Don Sinclair: best rant ever. Have a prize. Also, someone please tell the US to stop being so jealous and insecure and just leave us alone. You're starting to make Europe wish we'd never settled in your damn country. We sent our bloody criminals to Australia and that still worked out better than your excuse for a 'country'. Ah well, live and learn, eh?

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How the gun grows

The comments that refer to the weapon being carried seem to be getting wilder as they go on. It's not an assault weapon, or "an uzi, a Barrett 50mm, an M16 or an AK47" it looks like the sort of rifle another commenter preferred for rabbit-potting. Of course, if the bloke had in in a case like we have to use in public, I suppose he'd be arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, but there we are, neither side of the pond is quite perfect.

BTW, I enjoyed both articles

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USA

Surely, in this case USA stands for "Unusually Stupid American"?

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Anonymous Coward

I think the guy has a point......

We DO give up our rights far too easily.......................

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Paris Hilton

Give up our rights.....

I guess this inbred was too busy breeding with his sister/.mother/ Aunt (its the same person) to notice stuff like the patriot act, Guantanamo, all those wall street bankers snorting colombian marching powder through the tax payers dollar and god knows what other stuff the US govt is doing.

I feel relatively free in the UK compared to the loss of rights in the US, and who needs a gun when a baseball bat with a big nail in the end does the job nicely.

Paris, as she likes a big nail in her end as well.

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Stop

Brits used to get my respect....

And I wish it was still 1948 or so.

But now, they generally can't own guns, and certainly not pistols. I even hear the olympic shooting team practices out of the country.

Worse yet, the crime that gun bans supposedly decrease....is increasing in Britain.

And some have tried to outlaw 'pointy' knives in kitchens.

"British Gun Crime up 242 Percent; Post Says 'Laws Seen As Curbing Attacks'"

http://newsbusters.org/node/12267

"Gun Control's Twisted Outcome

Restricting firearms has helped make England more crime-ridden than the U.S."

http://www.reason.com/news/show/28582.html

But it is stuff like this that really concerns me about Britain.

"Islamist Mob Chases UK Police Through The Streets of London. "liberating" parts of the British Capital from the Dirty Infidel"

http://kpr37.newsvine.com/_news/2009/01/13/2307193-islamist-mob-chases-uk-police-through-the-streets-of-london-liberating-parts-of-the-british-capital-from-the-dirty-infidel

"Islamist fascists have succeeded in doing what Hitler's Germany never managed; CAPTURING ENTIRE SECTIONS OF THE CAPITAL OF GREAT BRITAIN, LONDON. British authorities are literally chased out of areas of their own capital, take a look, watch the entire video, you cannot make this stuff up:"

And that is why, although I thought it would be nice to visit Britain someday, it may never happen. The British may not be there by then.

Not sure many are now.

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On behalf of the rest of the American population...

I would like to apologize for one of my less evolved fellow citizens. While I normally don't have a problem with my gun-toting counterparts, I can at least laugh along with the rest of the world in regards to the photo. The arse that complained must not be secure enough with his manhood to be able to laugh and see the humor. As a people, I have nothing but respect for the folks across the pond. I just hope that while every country has its share of citizens that can be called a complete waste of a human existence, that this situation will not cause you to see all Americans as gun-toting hillbillies. But see us as people with family members we always have to take sharp objects from least they hurt themselves.

Cheers!

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Stop

Why do Americans have guns?

Can someone remind me why Americans have guns? According to the Constitution it should be purely for the purpose of defending their country from enemies both domestic and foreign (or some such) but I see no evidence of that: unless a deer running away from you presents a clear and immediate threat. Is it to protect their families? Apparently not - when someone in USA chooses to 'go postal' (incidents like Columbine are so common in America they have a phrase for it) you never see a plucky US citizen with their precious gun rushing to defend the community do you?

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Pirate

Guns for show

Knives for a pro...

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I'm jealous

I'm jealous of the usaians and their freedom. They are a young country. Europeans have too many oligarchs running the show. The Jesuits and the Black Pope have combined with the freemasons to enslave us all. Oh woe is me if only I were an usaian.

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Anonymous Coward

At least...

"If I didn't have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants, and start shoving you around. Do you want that? Huh? Do you?"

In America they're allowed guns, but only because they didn't read the 2nd amendment properly.

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not really a sterotype

look closely at the bottle - what a wimp, it's root beer! real Americans drink Irish or Scotch!!!!!!!

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OMG - a gun! *squeal, wet panties, panic, ohnoez!!!11one!!11*

I'm a Brit in the USA, and I rather enjoy having the freedom to legally own my couple of AR15s, my FN-FAL (L1A1 over there), a couple of shotguns and a few handguns. Happiness is a warm barrel and a tight group, as I'm sure a few of you fellow-shooters could confirm.

However - I wish that the politicians (and others) in the increasingly bizarre, Orwellian island of my birth would wake up and realise that mere possession of an item does *not* in itself mean criminal intent.

On a slightly divergent note: "Knife crime", my foot. It's a crime, period - regardless of the item used.

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