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back to article Forget Google rationing: Only lighting farts can save the planet

Assertions by a Harvard University environmentalist and green-website promoter that two Google searches cause carbon emissions equivalent to boiling a kettle appear to be based on questionable numbers. Building on the new research, the Reg can also exclusively reveal that three days of normal human farts cause the same amount of …

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J
Linux

Re: Actually, it's not that simple is it?

"but lighting your farts produces heat, which, well, heats up the environment..."

Exactly, saving you heating fuel in the winter! Well, for the people living in cold countries, at least -- they could buy fart credits from tundra people and the like (penguins!), I guess. A whole new market awaits thee. OK, you might need stronger air-conditioning in the summer, but I'm sure that if I massage the numbers enough I can show you that the winter savings and additional summer spendings cancel each other out.

Great article, by the way. :-)

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Without the hot air

Another great piece of hot air journalism for David MacKay to get stuck into:

http://www.withouthotair.com/

To dredge some interest from this discussion, working out the environmental impact of identifiable human-computer actions does seem to be more meaningful than simple stating how much energy a particular piece of hardware uses.

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Silver badge
Linux

the law of big numbers

is that they can be used to promote anything you like.

I'm pretty sure my kettle is 3k watts and I know my inlaws always boil a full kettle, regardless of the amount required (I've tried to get them to stop but I can't!)

I've heard that it is far less resource-intensive to eat veggies instead of beef and not farm the cows. This means you don't need to deal with their emissions too. Seeing as I'm a vegetarian, I reckon I'm owed quite a few googles.

I still find it rather unlikely that google make enough in advertising to pay for boiling the kettle twice for every google query I've made. Someone out there must be clicking-through and buying an awful lot of stuff on my behalf!

Tux, Penguins live in the antarctic, the antarctic has a huge ozone hole, therefore, penguins must be an environmental disaster. Its just science and logic, init?

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Happy

Has anyone else...

..been doing ridiculous google searches a lot more now, just to see if the earth does melt faster? I mean, surely the only way to see if this is right is to do it?

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Boffin

Well i'm off to invent

Underpants with a gas ignition and halon fire suppression system built in. Methane powered of course.

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Anonymous Coward

rent this...

Thunderpants

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Alert

Something doesnt smell right

There's nothing better than a well timed SBD (silent but deadly) fart. Lighting them unfortunately gives the game away...You can hardly claim it wasnt you when you have just launched a flamethrower in a quiet room.

As much as lighting my gas would be funny...a surprise attack is funnier... Then I'll happily take credit for my carbon.

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Flame

Below and beyond the call of duty

Thank-you Lewis Page, for doing this most unpleasant research for the planet and for all our sakes.

Are you going to patent the in-trouser flare stack?

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Thumb Down

Er..

..how am I suppose to enjoy the magnificent smell of my own farts if I have to set the poor little buggers on fire upon release?

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Methane isn't so bad (comparatively speaking)

Methane stays in the atmosphere for (on a quick survey of sources) around a tenth of the time that CO2 does (maybe even less, depending on how you estimate things -- the CO2 figure especially has a very high upper limit depending on who you ask). And I'm pretty sure that it isn't so simple as saying that the 10-fold difference in lifespan is outweighed by the 25-fold difference in effect.

All I'm saying is that this isn't quite so clear cut as the 25x thing suggests.

So don't go rectum searing just yet.

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Anonymous Coward

@Danny

I'd REALLY like to see those wedding photos.

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Its not mammals that are the worst

Insects are the biggest creator of methane. OK one ant fart is tiny but there are billions of them compared to the number of mammals.

SAVE GAS - FART IN A BOTTLE

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Platinum panties

If M&S started selling y-fronts with built in catalytic converters they'd crack the greenhouse emissions problem *AND* cut down on bad smells.

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Go

Vegans may go to heaven, but hell more fun

You know I am on board for everything but what the link below suggests. If saving the planet means I need to become vegan all I got say sucks for all those not born yet. Steak or death!

http://www.earthsave.org/globalwarming.htm

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Alert

I have just done a double Shay

And am proud of it, and definately more so than the rest of people in the lift

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