Upside down twatdangler please
David Blaine's much-hyped "twatdangle"* over New York's Wollmann ice rink has ended in controversy amid accusations that the whole thing was sham, the BBC reports. Blaine had stated he would remain suspended upside-down for 60 hours, sustained by nothing more than sipping drinks through a straw while urinating through a …
Upside down twatdangler please
JESUS F*CKING CHRIST!
THERE'S 2 OF HIM?!!??!??!!!!1111
[Insert appropriate tw*t(dangle)-o-tron here]
The key issue is the 10 minutes/hour health and safety breaks. (I'm quoting another poster so flame him if wrong...)
I haven't hung upside down for very long in recent years. I suspect my brain or at least an artery thereof would explode sometime in the first hour, let alone 60 hours. Your body just isn't warrantied when you fail to comply with the user manual.
So this was a stupid misleading stunt from the beginning. No credible sponsor is interested in the liability around letting this git actually do something dangerous.
Nope, you're wrong. There has always been a lot of "celebrity" shite on The Register; along with tons of other non-IT related stuff that is a varying degrees of interest but almost always guaranteed to generate great commentary by readers. Hence the "IT?" icon.
dangle.com isn't registered, if someone wants to set up that email address... maybe just forward it to Blaine.
Unfortunately he didn't.
Why do people even bother turning up for this guy - he's a complete bawbag.
He's the only person I recall in many years to have united the entire UK into a oneness we haven't see since battling Johnny Foreigner in WW II.
Okay, so it was to engage in a collective cry of "wanker" as he was suspended over the Thames, but he deserves some credit.
Okay he's not very good at his job, is a complete let-down, doesn't deliver what's promised during or at the end,but don't think that's in anyway indicative of any other Americans, their institutions or even Presidents. Oh no.
Mine's the one with the Guantanamo invite in the pocket.
Now that he has upset his fans, is he a dissillusionist?
that's the one that did it for me. You see Blaine being hoisted by high in the sky, but of course by a crane just off camera, you are then shown a bunch of girls staring and pointing in amazement, can they not see the crane?
No, instead they are actually responding to another trick, where he uses the Balducci levitation trick of appearing to float an inch off the ground (yes he just stands on tip toe and does it an angle).
Now the programme tries to claim that no camera tricks were used, by saying that all responses shown are actual responses to the tricks performed or the such like. It is that type of trickery that really is quite boring, if you are watching on TV the tricks cannot take advantage of that fact.
Even the evil pixie Derren Brown has been caught out a couple of times there, but at least his stuff is wrapped in some originality and adds some extra twists. Blaine had one good series and that was it, and even those tricks relied on stooges quite often and the use of specially crafted magic tricks - it was just he did it on the street.
Oh and want to know how Derren did the walk on glass trick, well he did walk on glass and anyone can as long as the glass is clumped together, the trick is to knock the glass off your feet at the end as one bit of glass would puncture the skin but a lot won't, simple physics.
Same as a bed of nails, the trick is getting yourself on and off so the weight is spread across a number of points.
But you can still enjoy Derren for those tricks, it still takes a bit of gumption to pull them off, and he has built up a persona that people tend to emote to off the bat now, which enables him to pull off more tricks. Blaine well, it is just boring really.
He's trying to turn his washed-up celeb status into product endorsements.
Incontinence products spring to mind. Should fit well with his fan base.
I'm shocked people are still paying any attention to this douche bag. Yes he had an interesting close up magic gig and sold it fairly well. But this crap he's been doing recently is just a bunch of self promotion for the sake of promotion, total non events.
Paris, since were talking about twats.
Hey! I have an idea. Why don't we get him and that shark guy together, Damien Hirst?
If he sticks Blaine in a tank with formaldehyde (and glues it shut), people can laugh at Blaine forever and Damien will have a work that is as easy put together as all the others but impossible to sell (actually, no, Tracey Emin's even easier. I have a bed like that every day).
Not that he'd mind, he's found one fool already.
I'm going to go six months without food.
Interspersed with meal breaks. I mean, I don't want to get *hungry*.
What an arsecandle.
This is hilarious though: http://www.gamebarrel.com/games/4308/david-blaine-assassination-game.html
I can't believe I'm the first to read that article and think "wow - suspended from only a drinking straw and a catheter". Take that, Stelarc!
Mine's the one with the full body-harness and stuntman wire attached...
Usually the guy delivers on his stunts. Saw the short video of this one, including the finale... he delivered, but it was a pile of steaming donkey dung. Anyone who paid for this crap (advertisers, sponsors, etc.) should sue the sucker to get their money back.
Maybe he's replacing Seinfeld in the new Microsoft ads?
I'm with Chris Richards on this one. Let him come back to England where we know how to treat him right.
This man is not worthy of his own piss.
Houdini is probably at this moment still trying to work out how to come back through the ether to haunt people so that he can kick Blaine into touch for name-dropping him once too often.
Paris because she seems so appealing when you've had to suffer the arsities of Blaineism.
British mobs -- I love 'em and their outright disdain for wankers.
I especially loved the radio-controlled helicopter with a sandwich dangling off it, buzzing his stupid bloody cage by the Thames.
There was meant to be a flash-mob to shine red lasers at him too, I think, but sadly didn't really kick off.
"sipping drinks through a straw while urinating through a catheter"
And he could swap when one is empty and the other full...
...The Reg turning into The Sun so long as they either provide us with topless ladies ala Page 3 stylee or at least more models in bikinis!
Twat dangling from a rope upside down......Pinata / target practice anyone?
sudo killall -9 Autopilot