BOFH: Remote access malarkey "...And so you can just log in to my machine and look at it whenever you like?" our user asks indignantly. "Uh-huh," the PFY says, fixing the user's printer settings while he's talking. "And I don't have to give you permission or anything?" "I'd have assumed that was implied by ringing the helpdesk?" the PFY says. "Yes …
Ah yes! 'My monitor is black!'
'Have you switched it on?'
'I've pushed every button and thrown every switch!'
[Oy]
'OK, have you checked the electrical cord? Sometimes the cleaning crew get a little careless.'
'There's a little yellow light on the front of the monitor.'
[!]
'Have you turned the computer on?'
'Oh! Oh! Thank you so much!'
clickety rm -rf /home/[user-id]/* clickety.
I have had this question so many times that I know the words off by heart...
My answers?
It's not your PC, its ours. If you are polite to us, we will let you borrow it for a while.
We have over 2,500 accounts. I am not going to find much by randomly opening accounts.
We use AD and/or Centennial to automatically check all computers for large ammounts of media files.
If we find stuff (and we will), you had better hope that we just delete it!
This is the kind of story that keeps me sane, barely lol.
I am no longer in the tech support field, but dang, bofh always saved my soul from going bleeding insane, from all the lusers and jerks calling and working with me at unknown isp's :)
Fans of bofh really should have our support group or message board :)
Back in my support/BOFH days (1981 or so), the computers I worked on had remote access modems on them (I had designed the hardware). While these were only character interfaces, the people who ran the boxen were "dumber than cheese". We would always "ask" first, as it would lock out the control terminal at the remote location. The "fun" part was that we could call up the computer and switch operator talk paths all around. All of a sudden we would monitor the voice, and interject some remark at the proper time. "Hello there" would elicit almost a scream. Always fun.
You have no idea how many times I've been through this scenario doing desktop support. Ridiculous users seem to think that IT has to "ask their permission" to access their PC remotely and look at anything on it. The fact is that the PC belongs to the company and is connected to the company network and that the employee serves at the pleasure of the company. Most users never read the "Technology Use Policy" that they sign when they are hired, but it clearly states that the user understands that the computer they work on is owned by the company, the IT Department can and will access it at any time for any reason without either informing the user or "asking the user's permission", and that the contents of the user's hard drive as well as any logs on the PC are the property of the company as well. The silly users must think that it's like when they are at home on their home PC, but unfortunately for them, that isn't the case.
In the case of someone who is screwing up the network printer settings for example, you wouldn't want to "ask them" for permission to access their PC remotely. In the case of a hacker doing damage to company data systems, you don't WANT them to know you know what they are doing.
And there I was, thinking it was just me who liked to login to other people's machines and alternately open and close their CD drives when I was bored ......
Of course, their home folders are all on an NFS share "so they can move desks and take all their files with them" (cough), so I don't even need to login to their machines to see their stashes of files.
Simon, back to the classic and you have such fine taste in single malt although I might point you towards any of the islay malts, slightly smoked flavor - hmm would remind you of bbq'd bean counter .... yeah i'd do the same but I would backup and then empty his my docs / temp internet of all files etc ...
Disturbing you on a friday afternoon is a cardinal sin - I think a reformat to windows 3.11 is in order or something as evil - setup to work on 1st boot of course...
"Sometimes," the PFY admits. "Although other times I find that if I leave the call open long enough the user'll go back into their printer settings and remember they stuffed around with the local printer/network printer combo and put it right themselves."
Just pure gold - scary thing is that I've done this before today and it does work.
Paris - because I am still trying to work out who is smarter; her or users...
Actually, the BOFH is my friend. Always has been.
Who am I, you ask?
Why, the janitor who's never appeared in any of these stories. The only janitor in this burg with more computing gear in his house than a regular computer center.
True, a lot of it's old kit, but I've managed to eBay enough stuff that I'm basically rolling in it. All that for helping to clean up a few minor messes, and never touching any power in the computer room. And, of course, never, ever bothering him for computer help - but always accept any help he offers.
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