The sorry tale of Ivan O'Toole, which last Friday caused a certain amount of merriment among the less than kind hearted members of our beloved readership, attracted an email suggesting that Mr O'Toole had faked an email address and hoodwinked the Reg Bootnotes secretariat. The missive in question came from one Hugh Jass, who …
Another couple ...
Mr. & Mrs. Thyme, who named their son Justin. Also Hugh Jardon comes to mind
Fungus the bogeyman....
Lives / lived in sheffield, had something to do with the university and was the first ever credit card customer of the maplin electronics shop back in about 1991 as i remember.
Needless to say i asked for identity and there it was on his old style driving license...
And while my board first-name is rather humorous too, it isn't quite my real name. But that didn't stop my actual name being shortened to it all the time at high school.
First saw this at a tradeshow...
...and didn't quite believe it, but Wayne Kerr really does make test equipment: http://www.waynekerrtest.com/
And the winner is...
"Hi, we have a reservation under the name of Kunt."
-"What is the first name?"
-"Absolutely. (to a hostess)Could you please show the Kunts to their table? Enjoy your dinner."
I believe it is actually illegal to publish a a customer's credit card receipt, no matter how edited, so I can't furnish the written proof. However, this is truly one of those times when reality makes you cry.
Someone I worked with...
Claimed he once spoke to a lady named Beta Turner Over - possibly not that spelling (and possibly not true) but makes I laugh.
As does Judge Willie Stroker; (maybe that didn't come out right... no that's not what I meant either... bother)
Paris I think because of the obvious connotations...
Girl walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre - so he gives her one ;)
I give you...
Mr. Gerrit Out
- not pronounced as it looks, of course, but apparently it is not compulsory to tell your receptionist that when providing a list of expected visitors...
marriage is a funny thing
Whilst out working I met a married couple. THe wife was busy telling me that she was not taking her husbands name as she didnt think the name tickle was appropriate to go with Tess.
Personally I dont see an issue with Mrs Tess Tickle
An IT teacher who taught in a college I attended, she introduced herself on the first day of class thus: "Hi, I'm Gai Daily". She was a stunner too and certainly had my perverted imagination running at full steam.
A couple of my favorites
Maiden Name: Truly Gold, Married name: Truly Boring. (Her wedding made headlines just because of the name.)
And, apocryphal, The Sonova family that once had a summer house in New Orleans called "Sonova Beach".
That nothing My next dor neighbour is called
Irish guys will also find this amusing, I was in school with a Ulick Mc gee.
I had an Asian student in one of my classes at university who had the name "Fu Ken Ho"..... seriously. The subject was marked in groups and it used to crack me up every time I saw his group submit an assignment with that printed on the cover. Also had an Asian tutor called "Wrong Do" honestly the worst tutor I ever had.
I once knew a girl named Randi Hole... :P
A few real people I have known
I worked with a Justin Sunshine and a Teresa Green (more fool her as it was her married name). Lastly there was William Anker,
IT as the first two may be reading this.
Taffy was a
boss I had, in Leeds, about 1992, who rejoiced by the name of Ivor John Thomas. I didn't know his middle name til later. Then there was the Danish gent who no one would believe was real, Bent Kock. He will google.
Went to school with...
A guy called Richard Soale. Come roll-call time, his was the only name called out surname before initial (the rest of us being initial then surname). Guess that's the only way the the teachers could keep a straight face.
A really, really, unfortunate name
I once knew a guy called Mike Hunt. He was very assertive about it, brazening it out like. I never once heard him call himself Michael, Mick or Micky.
Instead he'd answer the phone with all guns blazing. Example. "Mike Hunt, how can I help you?" Or, "Mike Hunt, what can I do for you today?".
His PA had worked for him for over ten years and she still cracked up every time. But I guess that was payback for all those times when she got the worst of it. "No I'm sorry, Mike Hunt is out of the office." Or "Mike Hunt is on holiday until next Tuesday".
I think it helped that said Mr Hunt was a very large and very fit former rugby player, with whom one would not proactively seek a disagreement.
Ok, its a quiet morning, VERY quiet. But I admit to a snigger when I saw where the following url carried me to:
This ain't funny
Having lived with this type of problem for many years I can say that once you get over youthful shyness having a funny name can be an advantage.
However any parent with an odd name should think carefully about the selection of a first name, for example I should hate to be named Richard and I think that O'Toole would also have the same problem with Dick. I also heard about a woman named Edna Box (head in box), sometimes these things are not obvious.
You also have to be careful with associations. For example I once worked for a chap called Kingsley Fairy and then later for Brian Bonniface. I could never stand next to either in case someone should say "Oh look there is ... and ...". Just not on is it.
It gets worse. My grandmothers family name is Alcock and I cannot stand next to my cousin for the same reason. Some unkind person might observe that my family moved from front to back in two generations.
For once in my own name:
According to yournotme.com
There is one person in the whole of the UK with the name that must result in a barrage of jokes after every introduction, "I'd like you to meet Mike Hunt".
Here in the US...
About 15 years ago I was looking up a telephone number in the directory. The name I saw, I told myself, had to be a joke. I called the number only to reach a rather angry gentleman you started the conversation with, "Yes! That is my actual name in the phone book. Wong Numba is my actual name. If you are calling to really talk to me, I'm sorry for being mad. If you're another assh*le calling to see if you get a real person, go F*ck yourself!".
Needless to say, I told him I must have dialed the Wong Numba.
Yeah, I was a real prick in my youth.
Not a sweary one, but funny none the less
Lt Cdr Flex Plexico
Also I think there's a guy in the US military called Max Fightmaster.
Well....I thought they were funny
I have worked with
at various points in the last 10 years.
None of the projects worked...
During a (very boring) few weeks off with a broken wrist, and after exhausting the impulse buying possibilities of the internet, I added 'Superfly' as my middle name. I even shelled out for the extra legal copies in case I lose the original.
Big Company Directories...
..are a great place to find some awesome names. I've worked for a couple of the really huge Global organisations and searching in the Outlook directory can be very enlightening.
There are all sorts of w*nkers and similar in there.
Worth an hour if you're in a global company...
Late 60s there was a guy in the RAF in Gibraltar. His name was something Hardly-Stiff, but he always pronounced it Hardly- Styf...
and then there was....
...a Welsh(?) chappie called Hugh Rinal !! And an Irish chappie who was christened Patrick but always nicknamed "Break" because his surname is O'Day !!
And an English teacher called Mr. Steaker who absolutely refused to apply his initial because his name was Peter !!
But the best was a colleague whose real name was Simon Horatio Ignatius Trelawney !! No shit !! He waged a 10 year feud with his parents from the age of 8 until he could legally change his name by deed poll !!
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