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back to article Portsmouth punts naval boy-on-boy to innocent kiddies

Avast there and unfurl the Twat-O-Tron ye scurvy landlubbers of Middle England, lest Portsmouth Historic Dockyard make barrel boys of ye all, damn their eyes: Poster for Portsmouth Historic Dockyard Yes indeed, me buckaroos, that's how Portsmouth punts Blighty's nautical heritage, as a suitably shaken Igor Z can attest. Mr Z …

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Coat

can not call them that now

cabin boy and seaman are out

they need to be cabin person and seaperson

mines the one with "pc" on the bacl

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@ Chris G

If they stuck to the pubic purse, there would be less allegations of raging homosexuality...

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An olde sea-shanty

I am sure not all sailors are that way inclined as the following verse from an old sea-shanty illustrates:

“The kitchen maid her name was Mable

And every week if she was able

She gave the crew their weekly screw

Upon the kitchen table.”

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Apocryphal Attribution (Admiralty?)

"It has been brought to the attention of the Admiralty that Sodomy is being practiced by enlisted sailors of Her Majesty's Navy while on duty. This practice shall cease immediately - or We shall /discontinue/ it."

Emphasis on the phrase, "while on duty", of course.

It's allegedly authentic Admiralty writ from HM Victoria's illustrious era, tho' picked up Stateside - the pic makes a fine reminder. Does much to reinforce Mr. Churchill's expressed impression as well at first glance, must say.

Jolly Roger's close but not a precise fit... Arghhh, lettit go...

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From Portsmouth Historic Dockyard

Portsmouth Historic Dockyard is delighted, if a little surprised, at all the interest our latest billboard campaign has received. The image used in this billboard was produced 2 years ago in all innocence, but with the hindsight provided by its recent online coverage I can now see that we might have chosen the camera angle a little better!

Whilst I can't see us using the same image on future billboards, it's great to see an attraction as important to Britain's heritage as Portsmouth Historic Dockyard reaching a wider audience. We hope that some of the readers of The Register are encouraged to learn more about us from our website at http://www.historicdockyard.co.uk or even come and visit us for themselves.

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Linux

Fred Wedlock

The captain's name was Gladys and he wore a dress of red

Which could have been the reason why he was not marr-eye-ed.

He was a gay old sea bitch and it was his favourite joy

To take a turn around the deck with the handsome cabin boy.

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Joke

Appropriate News Section

Interesting that you chose to put this item in the "Odds and Sods News"!

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@ 'Pompeygray'

First and foremost Mr Zed does not live in Winchester - I do! How do I know this? Because I was with him when the photo was taken, and completely horrified and distraught might I add ;) Not a smidgen of a Southampton fan in sight I'm affraid, why would it have to be about football? Is that all you think about? But then I suppose you are a Pompey fan! Winchester is a great place to live - it has culture and is a bit more than a beer, curry and a fight, Oh and the girls are much hotter and we can spell!!

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Happy

Slightly unfortunate

Snigger.

I notice the name on the billboard is TITAN (tight 'un).

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Gates Halo

@rachel

You obviously don't hail from either Highcliffe, Springvale or Stanmore!

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Alien

Fond memories

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse wrote:

"Generally ugly, a loud gibbon-like eloquence and social structure with a propensity for bad language and the drinking of cheap alcohol. Too many small tight tops to proudly show off the flabby results of too much shallow end of the gene pool breeding and eating of junk food to the uneducated chav like male population. It goes without saying that this model for a life is handed down from the elders who generally believe that shouting "Pom-peeeeeeeey" and having those very letters self tatooed onto ones body is the way to bag a quality partner."

Ahhh, the joys of a "run ashore in Pompey" ....... A few beers in the "Still and West", Trap some local talent then off to Southsea for a vindaloo in the Golden West curry house, the simple pleasures of life in a blue suit.

Space Invaders cos the Pickled Onion flavour is the best!

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passed on to a wider public

I did send this to writers@bbc.co.uk but it was returned for some less that suitably humourous reason after the suggestion that it might be used as some humour / parody / obsucre interest program

neer mind, i suspect the recepient was just having a bad hair day or lack of humour day.

needless to say it was never stated as to here that hair might be ...

:-|

roc

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@ Mr Ropley

Perish the thought!

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There used to be a Siemens office in Staines

The front desk used to answer the phones with "Good morning, Siemens Staines".

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Alert

@Tony

"Sorry son, that was a roll of the ship."

"It felt more like a roll of linoleum."

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Thumb Down

another one...

The Captain, he's so good to us

He dipped his prick in phosphorous

It shined a light

All through the night

And steered us through the Bosforus

(thumbs down, because Admiral Aubrey would never have stood for it)

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