back to article UK BOFHs face psychometric dissection

The techies among you who are operating in or around Bolton had better watch your backs - the local uni is offering postgraduate PhD studentships in the ominously-titled "Cognitive Style Differences Between IT Support Staff and Computer Users as Causes of Stress in the Workplace". Read on... The project will adopt an …

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  1. Mister Cheese
    Flame

    Re: Good Idea

    "Most of the admins I've ever dealt with were kind of "difficult". They need to learn to think like the users do and speak the language the users speak, as anyone should do for their customers"

    Error: "Re-double the prioritization of the blue sky with synergy" does not compile.

    Maybe that's why we have a helldesk - to (mis)translate the request and response between the two sides, and to keep admins away from (l)users. Or maybe they're just there to annoy everyone involved...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Never mind ...

    the cognitive style, what about all that capitalisation? Frightens me to death!!

    "Cognitive Style Differences Between IT Support Staff and Computer Users as Causes of Stress in the Workplace".

    PS. I am allowed to use double exclamation marks. I have a certificate from my psychiatrist that says so.

  3. Mike Crawshaw
    Go

    As well as EBCAKs...

    I get quite a few "Identification Directive Input/Output Tangent" issues.

    Or "IDIOT Errors" for short.

    If they come here, I guess it's time for underpants on head, pencils up nose and practicing my pronunciation of "wibble".

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pyschometric testing

    Imagine a company reliant on a complex IT system where the sys-admins were selected by psychometric testing to be 'compatible' with their users. Total disaster waiting to happen.

  5. Dr. Mouse

    Something is wrong with this statement...

    "Most of the admins I've ever dealt with were kind of "difficult". They need to learn to think like the users do and speak the language the users speak, as anyone should do for their customers"

    Erm, we have a contradiction here: THINK like the USERS?!?!

    Users do not think.

    And speak the language the users speak? I know many languages, including English, German, a bit of French, C, Perl, Java... Not once have I been interested in learning to speak Moron.

    What is needed is for the users to learn a little about the equipment they are using, not use us to do their jobs for them, and not assume that the CD-ROM drive tray is a suitable storage area for their toast, with a thick coating of jam, and not bother to clean off drippings of said jam and crumbs before inserting their Britney Spears album. It was their third CD-ROM drive, I had just joined the company, and got a tirade of "These drives are obviously crap, get me a better one". When I took it apart to check, I found said jam and crumbs, along with coffee stains and a peice of months-old chicken. I had to calmly explain that placing food and beverages on the CD-ROM tray was a bad idea (yes I managed not to yell "You F**KING MORON" at him), and HE had the cheek to report ME for being disrespectful and DEMAND that I be disciplined!

    Later that month, an internal investigation found large quantities of what would now be classed as "extreme porn" was found in his home directory, and his disciplinary was short and swift... Strange how fate can sometimes solve your problems for you isnt it?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'll never get a new job now!

    Local Government and the local police force started using these tests to help assess management candidates.

    Our Local government etc are now managed by a mostly full house of total incompetents but they talk a good show.

  7. Rebecca Putman
    Thumb Up

    @Niall

    That was my immediate reaction, as well - well done getting the first reply in!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    standard (inevitable) conclusion to conversation between User and PTY/BOFH

    "Well the only solution would appear to be that you need to put your nice new computer back into its box and post it back to the supplier."

    "Oh, is it that serious? What should I tell the supplier?"

    "You're too fucking stupid to have a computer"

  9. Adrian Esdaile
    Thumb Up

    Coffee snorted out nose - FTW!

    Brilliant.

    Bladerunner quote: check!

    Pysch student death: check!

    BOFH solving problems the quick way: check!

    I even did the bwoompf! sound in my head.

    I think Rutger Hauer (Roy Baty) would be perfect for the role of The BOFH in the upcoming film. I think William Sanderson (JF Sebastian) has the right demeanour for the PFY, but is a bit old for the role. I think Johnny Depp would do it quite nicely.

    "He say 'you come with me, Mr. Travaglia' "

    "You got the wrong guy, pal"

    "He say you BOFH!"

    "Tell him I'm drinking!"

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