Feeds

back to article Asda declares baby's arse 'pornographic'

Mum Gail Jordan's amusing plan to celebrate her son's 21st birthday by presenting him with a cake sporting a snap of him as a bare-cheeked bouncing baby came off the rails when Asda staff declared the image "pornographic", the Telegraph reports. Jordan, 41, went to the supermarket chain's branch in Liscard, Wirral to avail …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

Paris Hilton

@Tipper

Youtube link?

/Paris for obvious reasons

0
0
Silver badge
Joke

@Lychee66

barking spider = chocolate starfish.

0
0
Jobs Halo

But....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm SURE that ASDA sell a bust cake which is basically a pair of breasts in an icing bra. They have nipples and the edge of the nipple is visible over the bra....

How's that any different? (other than it's all made of icing and not actually a photo).

0
0
Happy

@ Edward Rose

"But describing it as porn is just idiotic and this attitude that the human body is pornographic should be crushed."

On the contrary, what needs to be crushed is the idea that pornography is bad.

After all, the "primary purpose" of the human body is to cause sexual arousal and by so doing facillitate DNA exchange.

0
0
Happy

@James Pickett

Pleased to meet you too! Yep, I'm a real live 'James Pickett'!

0
0
Stop

To be fair...

would you eat a cake with a big arse on it?

0
0
Bronze badge

So why didn't they...

... print a rude message over the offending flesh?

0
0
Anonymous Coward

@Tipper

Video link?

It does seem double standards to see lads' mags for sale when claiming a "no nudity policy". So a photo of surgically enhanced bimbo with plastic cross shapes over her nipples is allowable but a baby's bottom is not unless it has a star on?

This has echoes of when a newsreader took family photos into a well known chemist chain and ended up being accused of padophilia.

Adds Asda to the list of "companies lacking in common sense".

0
0
Bronze badge

@James Picketts

So which of you went to Kings back in the early 90s?

0
0

Tits

My brother's girlfriend used to be a glamour model. A couple of birthdays back, she presented my brother (and everyone else) with a cake (from asda) with a picture of her on it wearing nothing but a G-string...

0
0
Paris Hilton

Sex Register

Is the Sex Register a sister publication to The Register? And if not, why not?

0
0

@Phil

> Would the Barron Knights "Little White Bum" qualify as paedo music?

Dunno mate, I'd have to read the official expert report first, but that film Three Men and a Baby looks to be in deep doodoo. They'll be hanging the actors, director, and all copies of the videotape and the DVD from the trees.

0
0
Coat

@Mylo

Wasn't me. If there are more of us, maybe I need to go on a Dave Gorman style adventure meeting other James Picketts around the world!

Although if we all wound up in IT, it wouldn't make as good a story I guess . . .

0
0

@Gilbert

Better still if she covered herself with icing and chocolate sauce.

That would be my ideal birthday prersent

0
0

Shop at Tesco instead

They have no problem with a cake made in the shape of a pair of breasts so a babies arse shouldn't be a problem to them.

http://www.tesco.com/superstore/xpi/9/xpi53775539.htm

0
0

Its Karma all over again

The Salem witch trial are about to begin... again

0
0
Happy

Hoisted by their own ...

Hast anyone tried picking up a copy of FHM in asda and taking it straight to the cake counter?

How at least FHM is 'supposed' to cause sexual thought!

0
0
Stop

Since when....

.. have supermarket shelf stackers been experts on criminal law?

Asda should do the right thing, appologise to this person and tell their staff to engage in some common sense.

0
0
Silver badge
Coat

@Mike Brown

"This isnt "utter foolishness", this is about having a sensible no nudity policy. Just becuase its a naked baby, dosnt mean they can circumvent the policy..."

Yes, but it does mean they can circum*cise* it...

Mine's the one with the Torah in the pocket.

0
0
Stop

Erm, Frank...

A cake from Paul isn't morally objectionable, no; although given the number of Paul outlets that have opened at stations I'd argue that it may have an objectionable flavour. There are times when a spot of cake or a nice pastry are just the ticket - but the true gourmand would buy said hand-crafted treat from their local patisserie rather than a chain.

On the other hand, buying a birthday cake is rather pathetic. A birthday cake is supposed to show that you care - although I concede that a shop cake is fine as a gift for some bird you nobbed and don't particularly want to see ever again.

One final thought - since when were flames supposed to be rational and well thought out? The world might end if that ever happened!

0
0

Not Just ASDA

I saw a recent copy of the Sun which had a picture of a footballer on a public beach. In one corner there was a naked toddler which the Sun had deemed needed to be pixelated.

IMO it would have been better cropped or left as it was. I feel that the idea of treating naked pictures pre-pubescents as porn implies that most/many people a paedophiles and paedophilia is perfectly normal.

What's next? Pixelating pictures of nude animals in case it might arouse zoophiles?

Having said all that, there is a good chance that ASDA may well have left itself liable for conviction and by rights probably should have reported the woman to the police (as pointless and stupid as that may be).

0
0

40 mph

This is the same Asda whose HGV's travel at 40 mph in the 60 zone. They even have a proud sticker on the back commending themselves for this action.

Of course the net result to road safety is that the queue of cars tailed up behind start to take ever more dangerous risks to overtake it. Anothr good move there Asda.

0
0

@richard

horace, what a star!

0
0
IT Angle

Never thought about this before

But is possessing naked pictures of yourself as a child something you can get put away for these days? On the face of it I guess it might be seen as pornography, but that strikes me as possibly a bit harsh. Interesting test case for the Daily Mail reader maybe.

0
0
Bronze badge

ASDA

hmm if ASDA is wal mart then you are supporting evil,. Every one knows wall mart is evil. Just watch south park

0
0

And underneath the starred-out picture ...

... ASDA staff added a flashing button 'Join now! Members get full access to 1000s of cakes!' and linked it to a form requesting credit card details.

0
0
Unhappy

strategically-placed star?

'insisted his arse be protected by a "strategically-placed star"'

Where is Gary Glitter when you need him eh?

0
0
W
Boffin

Re: Tesco Tit Cake

Actual quote from Tesco website:

"Cooking Instructions: Remove packaging and ribbon bow. Place the cake still on its board on a flat surface. Holding the cake and with a long clean serrated sharp knife, cut the cake into slices using a sawing action. It is important to keep the knife clean."

Wot no candles?

Where's the 'stating the bleedin' obvious' icon?

0
0
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Tesco Tit Cake

Well, you can pretty much guarantee someone's complained in the past after having had a substantial portion of inedible ribbon removed from their small intestine. It's just arse-covering. Or indeed, tit-covering.

0
0
W
Boffin

Re: Re: Tesco Tit Cake

Indeed. The attention to detail is incredible. I keep going back to it and reading it over and over again. Drawn to it like a fly and the proverbial.

flat surface...long clean serrated sharp...into slices...sawing action...important to keep the knife clean

Lord have mercy on those rebellious souls who throw caution to the wind by chopping the cake into squares with an unwashed short plain knife on an ever-so-slightly inclined surface. Oh, the rebellion.

0
0
Coat

@ Tesco cake-cutting instructions

So it's important to keep the knife clean, but no mention of having to wash your hands before 'holding the cake'?

0
0
Flame

ASS da

Asda get some fucking common sense ! You already have AS in your name, so stop acting like one.

Getting my coat with the arse cut out as I leave :D

0
0
Joke

FFS

Why does ASDA have this rule about no nudity? Is it to protect the sensibilities of their staff? After all pornography per se is not illegal so why shouldn't someone be able, if they so wished, to get a porno-cake made up for them.

As for babies bums, there was a nappy advert on telly a while back where a woman actually kissed a baby's bare bottom, and this was broadcast several times a day to the nation at large. As our similarly common sense-challenged cousins across the Atlantic would say 'go figure!'

0
0
Paris Hilton

how sick ?

seriously, how sick have you got to be to think a baby's arse is pornographic ? Really, if thats what you think then you have some serious problems and need to see a shrink, and you better not go near my kids !!

0
0
Silver badge

Tech angle???

Couldn't you at least have told us how much the inkjet cartridges cost to do an entire cake?

0
0
Stop

in other news

If you ever catch even a glimpse of a kid naked - be it your own, or even your own photo - you must be pedo!

0
0
Dead Vulture

Got a video recorder?

Why think about stealing someone's private cake order to get pictures of baby's arses when you can a) Record the Johnson & Johnson advert or b) even more easily (since all paedos are considered to be internet l33ts) GOOGLE 'baby's bottom' - I just did for comparison and you get LOADS of images. Seems a bit extreme to ban a non-public cake LOL. Oh whoops, I've admitted I searched for baby's bottoms on google. It's a fair cop, better go hand myself in...

0
0
Paris Hilton

Hmm...

Maybe they just wanted to save the guy some embarrassment?

0
0

WYPIWYG

Hey, guys. ASDA (as part of the gigantic Walmart empire) pay bottom dollar (or should that be quid) for their staff !! So what do you expect ?? Brains of Britain ?? Remember the famous IT saying about peanuts and monkeys ??

0
0
Dead Vulture

Occupational diseases ?

> "Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal."

> What does this say about Asda since they are the ones that find the image pornographic.

> Is the entire business staffed by paedophiles?

Would they be so aroused otherwise ? All those ads...

> This is the same Asda whose HGV's travel at 40 mph in the 60 zone.

> They even have a proud sticker on the back commending themselves for this action.

Wait, but is it not... the very definition of "retard" ?

Dead bird, because it did hit cloud stuffed with rocks too retarded to fall.

0
0
Happy

@Mike Brown

only if those eclairs are cream-filled

Double standards By Tipper...you should know by now that Reg readers require video to judge for themselves.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Hmmm

I wonder how they'd react if I turned up with a photo of ....

goatse !

I guess that would have to be on a donut, or something.

0
0
Bronze badge

Puritan values

You have to remember wal mart embodies every thing that is wrong with the wrong(right wing) christian movement. For those of you in the UK that don get it , you are not alone. The level of insanity is enough to drive you mad. You wonder how some of these peoples are not institutionalized. I mean if you think that a baby ass is sexy you need to be locked away. If you are so worried that some else will find a babies ass sexy then you way to paranoid and need to be locked up. Oh wait I think you elect them. Look at Brown. When I say them I mean both sides of the pond.

0
0

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.