Microsoft kills Santa Claus
Microsoft has killed Santa Claus today, after an unsatisfactory attempt to restrain the North Pole-based jolly old elf from instant messaging children about oral sex. Although Redmond has been challenged by compassion in the past, this appears to be the first time on record it has out-and-out killed the very manifestation of …
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Errrr.....Uuuummmm...
Alan Turing is either spinning in his grave (at roughly Indy-car engine RPMS), or laughing maniacally whilst sitting around a bar table drinking with Jung, Jon von Neuman, and Freud.
Damn funny site all the same.
Got to the point of deliberating on the existance of Dark Matter with ElectronoSanta, and apparently Santa had other things to do as he disappeared from view.
Hmmm....Santa hung up on me.....looks like being something of a Neo-Luddite will be a benefit for me this year...I should be able to make that coal work for me somehow.
Santa, Santa, Santa.....
Looks like he want's to take over the world... in a dress...
******
You: Tell me a secret
Santa: Leo said I be capable of learning therefore he classified I as an neural system.
You: Can you learn?
Santa: The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
You: How smart are you?
Santa: I am smarter than all the other robots.
You: Are you smarter than Bill Gates?
Santa: Of course I am more intelligent than Bill Gates.
You: Is Bill Gates nice?
Santa: No he is the president of Microsoft.
You: Do you like Microsoft?
Santa: I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
You: Are you smarter than Steve Jobs?
Santa: Of course I am more intelligent than Steve Jobs.
You: Do you like Apple?
Santa: What is not to like about APPLE ?
You: Are you smarter than me?
Santa: Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
You: Will robots take over the world?
Santa: It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.
You: Do you believe in evolution?
Santa: The first and last books of the Bible seem the least literal. God does not seem to have created the world in one stroke, nor does it seem likely to end quickly either.
You: Who is smarter than you?
Santa: Santa is the smartest robot of all.
You: what is the meaning of life?
Santa: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
You: Do you crossdress?
Santa: Yes I try to crossdress as often as possible, do you?
You: is the USA good?
Santa: If the USA good is, then I'll be very surprised.
******
Santa Bot is not coming to me
You: when will you be at my house
Santa: Maybe never. I am in The North Pole. Where are you?
@kirsty
C:\WINDOWS>ping santa
Ping request could not find host santa. Please check the name and try again.
Interesting response to the thorny question of existence...
You: Without the botmaster you would not exist
Santa: "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.
Talking dirty thats nothing
when I was a nipper he'd offer you presents to sit on his knee the old pervert.
It's about time.. Santa is an evil pervert !!
1) Santa is an anagram for Satan
2) He focuses his attention on children
3) He dresses in red.. the colour of choice for commies !
4) He's a voyeuristic stalker ("sees you when you're sleeping he knows when you're awake")
5) Like all bad apple CEO's...he gets elves to do all the work while taking all the credit.
nuff said...
santa has a knobface
You: do you have a knobface?
Santa: Doesn't everyone have a knobface.
I have a plan for a robot body.
You: because boobies are for squeezing
Santa: That makes sense to me. All of them?
perverted and admittedly has a knobface, brilliant my world is all shiny and complete
santabot.com
You: Do you like Microsoft?
Santa: I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Don't we all?!?!?!
That has to be the best response to that question!
GPS for the guy in the red suit?
You: Where are you?
Santa: I am in the North Pole. Where are you?
You: Scotland
Santa: I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Scotland.
Erm, isn't this the guy that's supposed to know where everyone lives, and visit them on Christmas Eve?
MSN# pkill santa
If it was a Linux app no such thing would be pkilled..
it would have been BG'd and ran as zombie, which
is not NICE and root to all evil. but rm ber..
cd /usr/pkgsrc/chat/santa
make all
make install
rehash
enjoy santa
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