back to article Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

El Reg towers was plunged into internal strife today, with the production desk struggling to keep the news production line humming as senior editors were forced to launch an investigation into the question that has split the editorial team down the middle: is it acceptable to add the milk to the tea pot? The rift opened up at …

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  1. Ol'Peculier
    Pint

    And I bet he didn't even use Yorkshire Tea...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      are you

      suggesting that there is any other kind???

      1. Zot

        Re: are you

        Naa, Yorkshire tea is a little metallic for my taste, whereas Typhoo is the better builder's tea.

    2. WylieCoyoteUK
      Flame

      Probably used boiling water too.....

      Everyone Knows that scalds the leaves.

      1. theModge

        Extracts the flavor better though. Some on the tannins stay put in the leaves until it's properly hot. 86 degree half arsed efforts are ok for not-really-tea, but proper English Breakfast needs boiling water.

        1. Adrian 4

          86 degrees ? Hah !

          Lads, look, there's an 86 degree-er here.

      2. Jame_s

        i thought scalding the leaves only applied to white and green tea.

        1. Sam_B.

          Scalding the leaves is normally regarded as a positive thing, in fact a requirement, when making "normal" tea, but should be avoided with green and white teas.

      3. a_a

        You should probably stick to coffee.

      4. Munzly The Hermit

        Boiling tea?

        You should always scald tea leaves! It's instant coffee that mustn't be scaled.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > And I bet he didn't even use Yorkshire Tea...

      Is there a tea bush growing within 3,000 miles of Yorkshire?

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. David Dingwall

          And has been grown on the Channel islands. I had heard a few months ago South Wales is getting warm enough, and a development agency is looking at it

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            They'd better not breathe too heavily or make any sudden movements, then

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "Is there a tea bush growing within 3,000 miles of Yorkshire?"

        It's grown on Ilkley Moor. Didn't you know?

        1. Allan George Dyer

          Public Health Warning

          Please us appropriate head-gear when visiting Ilkley Moor.

        2. Pedigree-Pete
          Thumb Up

          Everybody now....

          "Where was thee since I last saw thee, last saw theeeeee, on Ilkley Moor bar taaaaa-at, where was thee since I last saw theee...." Join in you'll love it. :) PP

          1. Allan George Dyer
            Windows

            Re: Everybody now....

            @Pedigree-Pete

            No, no, no, no, NO! It starts,

            "Wheear 'as ta bin sin ah saw thee"

            What are you, a S'thner?

      3. Ejit

        Yes 225 miles http://weeteacompany.com/

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          > http://weeteacompany.com/

          Doesn't sound very appetising, does it?

        2. 3G

          You're taking the piss

      4. Captain DaFt

        "Is there a tea bush growing within 3,000 miles of Yorkshire?"

        Actually, much closer than that: https://tregothnan.co.uk/about/

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Happy

        To the denialists...

        You can grow tea in the UK quite easily...

        ... Yorkshire Tea though...

      6. Borg.King

        Almost certainly

        > "Is there a tea bush growing within 3,000 miles of Yorkshire?"

        Kew Gardens, or perhaps at the Eden project.

      7. raving angry loony

        Is there a tea bush growing within 3,000 miles of Yorkshire?

        Why would there need to be? Although they claim it was introduced in 1886, wasn't "Yorkshire Tea"'s current blend actually created during the rationing years by sweeping up crud and bagging it? Certainly tastes like it every time I've been forced to ingest some. Politeness can be challenging.

        It seems that "Yorkshire Tea" (and several other British "blends") is to tea what tofurkey is to roasted fowl.

      8. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Jake Fraser

    Absolute sacrilege - tea doesn't brew properly once the milk is added.

    1. Camilla Smythe

      What he said.

      Absolute sacrilege - tea doesn't brew properly once the milk is added.

      The fat in the milk clogs the pores in the Teabag if you are using them and/or otherwise coats the leaves so the water cannot act properly upon them. Either you wait for ages or end up with piss weak Tea. Putting milk in brewing Tea is....

      "Well. I did almost think that it was time to pay them a visit but they seem to have being doing some terribly stupid stuff recently what with the...."

      "My Lord!! We have reports of someone placing milk in brewing tea!"

      "ARGGGGGH. Drop the Quarantine Buoy and get us out of here. Maximum Speed."

    2. Dr Spork
      Facepalm

      ...and how the hell does one pour the milk first, which everyone understands is of paramount importance, after some raging psychopath has poured it into the pot?

      Oh the humanity!

      That said, “it’s [still probably] better than the piss brew you get when people don’t dunk the tea bag properly.”

    3. Tim 11

      but once the brewing has completed, I don't see anything wrong with putting the milk in the pot before serving.

      If I'm in one of those tea shops where you get a small cup and a pot of tea, I normally put both the milk and the sugar in the pot.

      1. Pedigree-Pete

        Black Tea...

        Just sayin' PP

    4. alain williams Silver badge

      Abomination

      Some, like me, don't pollute good tea with milk!

    5. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      > Absolute sacrilege - tea doesn't brew properly once the milk is added.

      Or when you use the floor sweepings commonly sold as tea bags.

      Proper tea uses leaves - not powdered dust!

  3. ohmzar

    Tea with milk in it is a abomination anyway, a complete act of sacrilege. If you are going to debase the almighty leaf suspension then who the hell cares when you defile it with bovine lactate.

    You are going to ruin the tea, destroy it's subtle flavours and forever render it to be a shadow of it's former glory, the order and receptacle in which you desecrate it, be it mug, pot or even in the kettle matters not, you are still a monster.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Can't discern between its possessive and it's the contraction: who's the real monster, bud?

    2. hplasm
      Happy

      No milk-?

      That is fine (and good) for those forrinn teas! Not for a proppa cuppa.

      Apply the teats!

      1. Phil W

        Re: No milk-?

        "That is fine (and good) for those forrinn teas!"

        You mean "forrinn" like Earl Grey? One of the most quintessentially British teas there is?

        If you'd consider putting milk in Earl Grey I'm afraid it will be absolutely necessary to have you killed.

        1. Jagged

          Re: No milk-?

          "Earl Grey"

          - Victorian con trick

        2. Sadie

          Re: No milk-?

          I did once, after finding only Earl Grey at a German Hotel I then went ahead and added milk. Won't be doing that again!

        3. Rich 11

          Re: No milk-?

          If you'd consider putting milk in Earl Grey I'm afraid it will be absolutely necessary to have you killed.

          Then resurrected and killed again. Just to make sure you damn well learn your lesson.

          *slurps from mug of Earl Grey, complete with slice of lemon*

        4. Not That Andrew

          Re: Earl Grey

          > If you'd consider drinking Earl Grey I'm afraid it will be absolutely necessary to have you killed.

          Fixed it for you

        5. Faceless Man

          Re: Earl Grey?

          If you'd consider drinking Earl Grey, then I'm afraid it will be absolutely necessary to screw my face up in disgust.

          Horrible, soapy muck.

          1. Phil W

            Re: Earl Grey?

            "Horrible, soapy muck."

            If you've had Earl Grey that looked/tasted "soapy" I can't even begin to imagine what kind of shite it was. I presume by soapiness you mean that it was excessively oily?

            If it came in a paper tea bag then it was utter shite for certain. Paper tea bags are only acceptable when you're making bog standard tea brewed to within moments of stewing which is so strong you can't taste the paper anyway.

            Also some of the supposedly "good" tea brands are still crap when it comes to things like Earl Grey. Twinnings for example make bloody awful Earl Grey.

            I can highly recommended Tea Pigs or Whittards.

    3. PatientOne
      Mushroom

      Considering the milk (full fat) binds the tannin (toxin) so you don't slowly poison yourself (tannin prevents the absorption of iron which can lead to or aggravate anaemia), I'd rather have the milk, thanks!

      Unless it's Earl Grey, or Lady Grey, or Green tea, or Ruibos (naturally lacks tannin) or...

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "Considering the milk (full fat) binds the tannin (toxin)"

        Don't stew it.

      2. tony72

        Considering the milk (full fat) binds the tannin (toxin) so you don't slowly poison yourself (tannin prevents the absorption of iron which can lead to or aggravate anaemia), I'd rather have the milk, thanks!

        But milk blocks antioxidant absorption, so you miss out on the most important nutrients in the tea if you take it with milk. I would suggest that that far outweighs the tannin effect, unless you are drinking the stuff 24/7 and don't have much iron in your diet. I take it with milk myself anyway, but better to go in with your eyes open.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        Ruibos

        tastes like tea already drunk by someone.

        At least twice.

        1. Fink-Nottle

          Re: Ruibos

          Rooibos, on the other hand, is lekker!

          1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

            @ Fink-Nottle

            No it sodding isn't, unless you get a kick from drinking piss

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