back to article Rejoice, fatties: Giving chocolate electric shocks makes it healthier

Chocolate lovers, today's your lucky day. Physicists have found a way to make the sweet brown stuff healthier by applying an electric field to molten chocolate. Previous attempts to lower the fat content of chocolate, in an effort to make it healthier, have failed, according to research published in the Proceedings of the …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Misguided

    Ancel Keys has a lot to answer for...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Fruit & nutcase

    > Physicists have found a way to make the sweet brown stuff healthier by applying an electric field to molten chocolate.

    But fruit & nut has already got currents in it!

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Fruit & nutcase

      Did someone call?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Fruit & nutcase

        Did someone call?

        That would be me. With the important and relevant question as to whether giving FB's electric shocks makes them healthier.

        Lets give it a go and see, eh?

      2. Stevie
        Pint

        Re: Fruit & nutcase 4 Fruit and Nutcase

        I'll vote each of you a beer for that.

        Drink up, Fruit.

        Drink up, Nutcase.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New Healthy Option Mars*!

    * 10% less fat.

    Not getting excited about this.

    1. Dwarf

      10% less fat

      You forgot the 25% less taste.

      Fat tastes good - take a Lamb chop and remove all the fat, cook one with the fat and one without, see which one your brain says is "nicest" Now rinse and repeat for things like sausages, pork scratchings, etc

      The problem is when the diet is very un-balanced, Making one or two things better doesn't make the mindset of the person eating it any better, which is where the real issue is.

      1. FrogsAndChips Silver badge

        Re: 25% less taste

        Cocoa butter doesn't give chocolate its taste, it gives it consistency.

        *IF* you remove cocoa butter and replace it with chocolate liquor, that should give you a richer chocolate. Of course in a Mars bar I would expect them to add sugar instead...

        1. Tom 7

          Re: 25% less taste

          I tend to stick to 70% or higher. Two or three pieces savoured slowly do the job. Milk chocolate just gets eaten - never quite enjoyed.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Boffin

          Re: 25% less taste

          Sugar is too expensive (and now to be taxed), so expect cheap chemicals.

          If anyone wants me, I will be in the shed with a box of Lidls finest chocolate and an old cardiac arrest crash cart that mysteriously disappeared from the local hospital shortly after this was posted.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    So...

    No more Oompa Loompa's needed ?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    So another excuse.....

    to make the bars even more minuscule than current bars.

    I can see the packaging now:

    "New Improved Design"

    Translation:

    "Hey we can use 10% less fat, so we've made them 10% smaller"

    Hint: Cadbury, that great USA / Polish / Swiss institution, did this sort of trick after the Olympics when they rounded of the corners.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: So another excuse.....

      They rounded off the corners? Does Apple know about this???

  6. MT Field

    FFS it's the cocoa butter that makes it chocolate. Stuff messing with the good stuff.

    1. Paul Shirley

      It's only cocoa butter in good chocolate. Which leaves me wondering why makers of nasty mockulate concoctions like a Mars bar would ever want to swap cheap vegetable fats for expensive cocoa solids. After all they've already swapped expensive cocoa butter for cheap crap.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    From comments around the internet

    nothing on earth could make Cadburys any worse ....

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: From comments around the internet

      You've not been to the United States, have you?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: From comments around the internet

        It already happened.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You've not been to the United States, have you?

        I do recall when I did that US candy was shiter than shite.

        However, The reason I quoted from the internet about Cadburys, is because I eat chocolate so rarely nowadays, that I really can't comment. I have also lost 4 stone, which I have come to believe is related to the not eating chocolate thing. As Viz had it: "More exercise and less pies magazine, incoporating 'It's not fucking rocket science' Monthly"

      3. Geoffrey W

        Re: From comments around the internet

        RE: "You've not been to the United States, have you?"

        Don't be coy; lets name names - Hershey's. Its brown and...

        1. TheProf
          Devil

          Re: From comments around the internet

          Allergy Warning: Contains baby sick.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: From comments around the internet

            Actually, Hershey tastes fine - after you have had a Chinese formula Mars Bar.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: From comments around the internet

          "Don't be coy; lets name names - Hershey's. Its brown and"

          I have been told that US chocolate contains butyric acid as a preservative. It's legal because butyric acid is a decomposition product of milk - in fact, the protozoa in bovine guts produce butyric acid from grass and the cows metabolise it. So let's not beat around the bush. It's brown and tastes of cows' guts.

        3. framitzula

          Re: From comments around the internet

          Hershey is the worst chocolate ever.

          I've heard that they use sour milk to replicate the taste from prior to refrigeration. Adding an acid would have the same effect. The aftertaste is like vomit.

          Locally produced hand crafted chocolate is so different and wonderful it's amazing.

          1. Chris King

            Re: From comments around the internet

            "Hershey is the worst chocolate ever".

            Ah yes, the homeopathic stuff. Rumour has it one of the factories has a sealed tin of cocoa powder and they occasionally wave it in the general direction of the production lines.

  8. Efros

    Sounds like

    Marketing speak for more expensive product with less expensive ingredients.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A new El Reg standard unit, hurrah!

    There we have it then - viscosity is to be measured in Mars Bars. Excellent!

  10. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    reduce the viscosity of a Mars bar by 43.5 per cent,

    I will be impressed when I see this applied to Lindt 80%+ dark chocolate.

    Applying it to trash and cocoa waste mixed up with fat does (aka Mars bar) not impress me much. They might as well apply it Hershey...

    1. JimmyPage Silver badge
      Angel

      Lindt ..

      Their Dark Chocolate with Salted Caramel is *divine* -------------------->

  11. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    But when it comes to fat we seem to get plenty. When is a Mars Bar not a Mars Bar? Are the Aussies short changed on additives? Note:

    UK Mars ingredients:

    Sugar, Glucose Syrup, Skimmed Milk Powder, Cocoa Butter, Cocoa Mass, Sunflower Oil, Milk Fat, Lactose, Whey Powder (from Milk), Palm Fat, Fat Reduced Cocoa, Barley Malt Extract, Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Salt, Egg White Powder, Hydrolysed Milk Protein, Natural Vanilla Extract, Milk Chocolate Milk Solids 14% minimum, Milk Chocolate contains Vegetable Fats in addition to Cocoa Butter

    But Australian Mars ingredients:

    Sugar, Glucose Syrup (Sources include Wheat), Milk Solids, Vegetable Fat, Cocoa Butter, Cocoa Mass, Barley Malt Extract, Cocoa Powder, Emulsifier (Soy Lecithin), Salt , Egg White, Natural Flavour (Vanilla Extract).

    1. Filippo Silver badge

      That could be differences in the laws on ingredient lists.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Aussie Mars Bars vs UK Ones

      The ingredients look to be exactly the same, except the UK seems to require much more specificity - which can be useful information to have (such as source, and type of processing). Also the ingredients list really stops at Natural Vanilla Extract. Everything after it is a descriptor.

      e.g. Skimmed Milk Powder + Milk Fat + Lactose + Whey Powder (from Milk) + Hydrolysed Milk Protein = Milk Solids

      Sunflower Oil + Palm Fat = Vegetable Fat.

      1. LaeMing
        Megaphone

        Re: Aussie Mars Bars vs UK Ones

        Yep. Australia is just more lax about ingredient list requirements. Manufacturers like to complain they can't fit any more on the label while their exact same product+package manages just that in other parts of the world with more pro-people government policies.

  12. Tromos
    Joke

    Healthy options

    Another way to tackle obesity is to apply the electricity to the person reaching for the Mars bar.

    1. SteveK

      Re: Healthy options

      I misread the subtitle on quickly skimming and thought it was some sort of aversion therapy.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: aversion therapy.

        Best aversion therapy to chocolate is Cadburys ....

        1. Mage Silver badge

          Re: aversion therapy.

          No, original pre Kraft Cadbury's is FAR better than Hershey's

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: aversion therapy.

            No, original pre Kraft Cadbury's is FAR better than Hershey's

            It WAS. But the vile makers of burger cheese were gifted Cadburys by the pocket lining rent-a-director types in the controlling seats, and the Yank scum now controlling Cadbury seem intent on shitting on the brand.

            I live not ten miles from Bournville, but I now go out of my way to avoid Cadbury products. That is a very, very sad end to one of the finest names in Britain's social history.

  13. Alistair
    Windows

    @VRH

    I agree. Most 'candy bars' don't have enough chocolate in them to warrant the effort. Mind you we have a local chocolatier that notes their equipment can't work on >75% due to viscosity issues. I'll pass the source data to them. Might warrant both a weekend working on the kit and a tasting session.

  14. Mage Silver badge

    my Chocolate ration: Not Gloopy!

    Cocoa mass, sugar, fat reduced cocoa powder, emulsifier based on sunflower lecithin, vanilla extract.

    Cocoa solids are 81% minumum.

    By mass

    Fat 43%

    Carbohydrate 24% (sugars are 17%)

    fibre 15%

    protein 10%

    salt 0.03%

    (suitable for vegetarians)

    Any higher cocoa content/less fat DOES NOT make it Gloopy but gritty and powdery. The 85% stuff is terrible.

    Mars bars are not Chocolate, but chocolate flavoured sweets.

    Cadbury's Dairy Milk is barely chocolate (less than 25%?). I think US Milk chocolate has less cocoa (as it's expensive) and Hershey's do something nasty to the milk, which is why it's disgusting compared to any European chocolate.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bad timing

    Bad timing, considering the world is finally turning against that fat=bad nonsense.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bad timing

      If it also increases the richness, they can market on that as well. People who want to reduce fat/calories and people who want better taste would both have a reason to want this.

  16. earl grey
    Devil

    Great brown globs couldn't possibly be sweeter

    Those big tasty fat molucules...if they could only be added to salad (well, beside drowning it in dressing...

    1. Geronimo!

      Re: Great brown globs couldn't possibly be sweeter

      Add bacon!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rejoice, fatties:

    Rejoice, fatties: Eat less and you will loose weight.

  18. Richard Scratcher
    Coat

    "...polarises the cocoa molecules and causes them to clump into spheroids."

    Meh.

    Wonka was using this technique years ago with his Ampere-clumpers.

  19. Dr_N

    Woo Woo?

    Weren't these the same people who claimed they could improve fuel consumption of cars by 20% by using similar electrorheological methods? About 10 years ago.

  20. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Don't forget, Hershey's is about 50 miles from Philadelphia, and they're always looking for ways to make their "chocolate" shitter and cheaper.

    People don't understand why I always flip the candy over, and if it says "Hershey's" toss it straight into the trash.

  21. Steve Crook

    I'm sure there's a Mick Jagger joke in there somewhere

    > Scientists have reportedly managed to reduce the viscosity of a Mars bar by 43.5 per cent

  22. Chris G

    Less fat? add fat!

    There is a Scottish bar here that has a chippy attached, after a good bevvy, falling off several tables and punching holes in the ceiling the customers can retire to the chippy to enjoy tasty nourishing deep fried Mars bars, Snickers, Lion bars plus lots of other heart destroying goodness. Now that these items may be reduced in fat, it means that they can be cooked and soaked longer in the cooking fat before consumption. Yay for science!

    Re Hershey bars; I am fairly sure they are responsible for much of the surge in terrorism, you see American soldiers on TV often giving local children Hershey bars when they land in a foreign country. Many of the terrorists are trying to get revenge from when they were kids duped into eating baby vomit.

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