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14 Mar 2024 | 47
Top! tip! for! Yahoo! – 'Fire! your! board! of! directors!'
The activist investor firm who first pushed for the sale of Yahoo!'s core search business now wants to oust its board of directors. Starboard Value says that it wants to replace all nine directors at the Purple Palace with its own group of nine execs, who will make a "significant change" at the ailing search and advertising …
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Friday 25th March 2016 02:09 GMT Captain DaFt
Re: Core Values
"More recently, Yahoo! said that it would be seeking a buyer for its core search ..... business"
"OK. They may have to bundle that with something else....."
If They throw in all outstanding shares to sweeten* the deal, I've got a jar of spare change setting on the dresser.
*Or just find a way to guarantee me immunity from prosecution for spending a day long locked room meeting with the Ad Dept... whilst wielding with a baseball bat, it's negotiable.
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Thursday 24th March 2016 22:55 GMT PaulAb
Criminal activity
When recently, the board of directors at Yahoo were robbed whilst they slept through a board meeting, they awoke and immediatley contacted security.
Security stopped a suspicious looking man with a stripey jumper, mask and a bag with the statement SWAG written on it, in a brazen act of defiance he shouted 'Search me', they did.....and found nothing.
The board have climbed back in thier hibernation boxes until next years meeting.
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Saturday 26th March 2016 08:18 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Core business?
Yahoo's core business is "losing money." Throwing nine new directors at it is as likely to make a difference as changing the bridge crew of Titanic after it hit the iceberg.
Starboard aren't stupid, they're gamblers. Yahoo's market cap is over $30bn. If they can make just 3% difference by a revised strategy there's a billion dollar gain to share amongst the deal principals. If that's the nine horsemen, net of $100m expenses, we're talking $100m each for a few months work.
Doesn't really matter about the operating losses, or the employees. This is how the obscenely rich get obscenely richer. Welcome to the world of corporate finance.
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Friday 25th March 2016 15:23 GMT allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Yahoo! is a bloated corpse drifting in the water, sometimes fooling the odd casual observer into thinking it is still alive, mistaking the bobbing up and down in the ripples for voluntary movement. And the grieving relatives start gathering at the shore, discussing ways of reeling in the body. Because there is still that lottery ticket with the winning number in the corpse's wallet.
Disclaimer: I have posted this before, but looking at the TV programme for the Easter weekend I thought well, if they can do reruns, so can I.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
