back to article Paris, jihadis, tech giants ... What is David Cameron's speechwriter banging on about now?

An article by the UK Prime Minister's chief speechwriter suggests Silicon Valley is happily aiding "tech-savvy jihadists." It echoes demands we've heard since the killings in France this month. A UK law professor and an infosec academic have helped us dismantle the piece. The ludicrous article in question, written by Clare …

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  1. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Stop

    There was no encryption used...

    ... apart from Telegram which is broken anyway. From Schneier's blog...

    https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2015/11/paris_terrorist.html

    http://arstechnica.co.uk/tech-policy/2015/11/paris-police-find-phone-with-unencrypted-sms-saying-lets-go-were-starting/

    Now why ever would politicians come out the woodwork and start on about their favourite subject?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Snowdon

    Snowdon leaks were the best thing ever. A gift that keeps on giving.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Big Brother

      Re: Snowdon

      Ex-CIA director James Woolsey wants to see him hanged for enabling terrorists

      From bottom-feeding screechwriters to zero-ethics psychos nominally "in charge" to "progressive neocons" angling for the presidency ... getting rid of these people (and by this I mean, a one-way trip to the Fletcher Memorial Home) is becoming a requirement to survival fast.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Snowdon

        +1 for "Fletcher Memorial Home" reference.

        1. g e

          Re: Snowdon

          They could appear to themselves everyday. On Closed-Circuit TV.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Political FUD masquerading as intelligence

    Even this old duffer can see that.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Trident can be hacked over the Internet (apparently)

    You can see where this is leading to can't you ...

    1. 's water music

      Re: Trident can be hacked over the Internet (apparently)

      You can see where this is leading to can't you ...

      Is it leading to an obvious need for a securely enrypted C&C comms channel without a backdoor to increase the risk of a MITM takeover of Trident C&C?

      Wait, wut?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I will believe in that the day Google stops sabotaging OTR2

    I will believe in the Silly Valley actively encouraging encryption the day when Google, F-book and Yahoo ship an OTR2 enabled IM client or at the very least stop replying to an OTR2 requests to sabotage the clients that can OTR2.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I will believe in that the day Google stops sabotaging OTR2

      What is OTR2?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I will believe in that the day Google stops sabotaging OTR2

        Off The Record - encryption plugin for chat clients.

  6. Tony S

    "So only people with advanced tech knowledge are allowed to write about technology? Even though it's pretty important these days?

    My response to that would be that I would hope that those that believe the topic is important and wish to take part in the debate might actually take the time to learn something about the it before they start pontificating.

    "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."

    I also note that she believes that the "democratically elected governments" are being frustrated by "non elected companies" who are "obstructive and adversarial". So no government is ever wrong?

    1. Chris G

      So she is talking about the same non-elected companies that are paying those democratiically elected governments' to legislate in their favour?

    2. Triggerfish

      I have to wonder what democratically elected counts for, when as soon as they get in they 180 on the policies that got them elected.

      1. Dr Scrum Master

        I have to wonder what democratically elected counts for, when as soon as they get in they 180 on the policies that got them elected.

        So which of the policies in a manifesto are the ones that got them elected?

        Or which of the wild statements uttered during election time are the ones that got them elected?

    3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      ""So only people with advanced tech knowledge are allowed to write about technology? Even though it's pretty important these days?"

      Of course not, but in the absence of such knowledge they have to realise that what they write might be complete bollocks. Might be? Almost certainly will be!

      And as for "adversarial", start looking closer to home.

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Facepalm

        "So only people with advanced tech knowledge are allowed to write about technology? Even though it's pretty important these days?"

        So Clare Forges-Ahead-Without-Knowledge (apparently distant relative of Tim Nice-But-Dim, but without the nice bit) can shoot her mouth off but she denies others the free speech right of stating she is wrong? Part of free speech is that others are allowed to disagree with you. Maybe she needs to read up on human rights, not just technology

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "Maybe she needs to read up on human rights, not just technology"

          Why bother when the government she semi-covertly represents wants to repeal them?

  7. Mark 85

    And the security theatre of being kept safe, warm, and comfy by the governments continue. I'm heading to the store for more popcorn as I think this show is going to be playing for a long time.

  8. msknight
    FAIL

    "If they had any conscience at all, these great Western powerhouses of the 21st century would be joining the fight to preserve our way of life"

    That's exactly what they are doing... by standing up to numpty government pillocks, who want to ruin it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Exactly

      Have an upvote.

      It is a sad day, when Frankie Boyle stops writing comedy and his political column reads like the only sane commentary on the subject:

      http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/nov/23/frankie-boyle-fallout-paris-psychopathic-autopilot

      1. Vic

        Re: Exactly

        Frankie Boyle stops writing comedy and his political column reads like the only sane commentary on the subject

        That was a brilliant piece. Thank you for passing it on.

        Vic.

      2. Amorous Cowherder
        Thumb Up

        Re: Exactly

        Boyle: “Well, Isis say they’re motivated by God.” Yes, and people who have sex with their pets say they’re motivated by love, but most of us don’t really believe them.

        Superb!

      3. phil dude
        Thumb Up

        Re: Exactly

        I wish he would release it as a podcast...

        P.

  9. Teiwaz

    > ""So only people with advanced tech knowledge are allowed to write about technology? Even though it's pretty important these days?"

    No less obvious than if it were medical matters and not technology. I'm sure medical professionals would definitely have something to say if a speech writer started pontificating on medical matters, even though that's always 'pretty important'.

    Perhaps it's time to rethink letting unqualified people use technology, they are starting to believe they know everything when all they know is how to self-administer the occasional aspiriin.

    1. astrax

      Wow...just...wow.

      "So only people with advanced tech knowledge are allowed to write about technology? Even though it's pretty important these days?"

      Considering her position of influence, I would have said a resounding "YES!!!" to that first question. My biggest gripe is the way she is ultimately equates the progression of encryption technologies with aiding terrorists. It's absurd. The things that spring to mind are:

      a). By creating a backdoor to all encryption algorithms for government use only, you will also create the biggest threat humankind has ever seen. Keys will be available to the highest bidder, paranoia will dictate policy and national security services will become untenable.

      b). Terrorists would communicate via carrier pigeon if it would help their cause. The focus needs to be at the social level and root out extremism while it is in its infancy, not by taking away the little security the Internet has natively.

      c). At least try to make it a little less apparent what agenda you are actually pushing; it looks stupid and it makes the government appear completely incompetent.

      Rant over.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Wow...just...wow.

        Even Winston Smith managed to become a badthinker and terrorist, and he was under surveillance and mindfluence the WHOLE TIME.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    We need to have a mature debate

    "We need to have a mature debate" ... NO! I literally don't want to hear what you have to say you totalitarian bastard. Nothing good comes after that political key-phrase.

    "So only people with advanced tech knowledge are allowed to write about technology? Even though it's pretty important these days?"

    Yes, only people with knowledge get to have an opinion. Everyone else needs to STFU. I know it's quite popular these days that everyone gets an equal say regardless of merit, but that simply won't do.

    1. Chronos

      Re: We need to have a mature debate

      massivelySerial wrote: "We need to have a mature debate" ... NO! I literally don't want to hear what you have to say you totalitarian bastard. Nothing good comes after that political key-phrase.

      Whilst I agree with the sentiment, you have to remember that some of these people actually do believe they're protecting the general public. So I invoke C. S. Lewis:

      Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber barons cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

  11. John Sager

    If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

    The sample of comments in the Crappygraph's article, plus another demolition job on it in Techdirt will get wider circulation than the original article, I expect. Not to mention all the blowback on Twitter. The riposte will be complete if she gets this:

    CF: Hello, I'm Clare Foges

    A.N.Other: Ah yes, the clueless idiot. Can I interest you in a copy of 'Cryptography for Dummies'?

    1. Primus Secundus Tertius

      Re: If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

      Give credit to the Torygraph commentards: they had demolished Foges long before El Reg picked up the case.

      And yes, Rik Myslevsky, they really are right wing, as opposed to Reg commentards who seem to be mainly left.

      [My tech comments generally get upvoted, but my political ones go down.]

      1. Rosie Davies

        Re: If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

        "And yes, Rik Myslevsky, they really are right wing, as opposed to Reg commentards who seem to be mainly left."

        Splutter! Really? El Reg's commentards are generally a pretty anarchic bunch though the general tone of the politics is substantially to the right of where I sit. But then again I am _properly_ left wing, not this light weight left wing "I'm so radical I've grown a Stalin beard" nonsense.

        Rosie

        Official Spokesperson for the People's Free Liberation Army of El Reg, NOT the Free People's Army of El Reg - who are slackers.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

          Splitter!

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

          Good to hear from you, Rosie.

          If you think the Reg is right wing, I have an Ars Technica you might want to avoid.

          I think people are not so much anarchistic as that they have seen the Emperor so often and every time he seems to be as naked as the day that he was born. Drawing attention to the fact is not so much anarchistic as wishing, with Dante, that

          "Convenne rege aver che discernesse della vera cittade almen la torre" - a King should come who can at least see the tower of the True City.

          The present lot can't even see through the front page of the Sun.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

            > I have an Ars Technica you might want to avoid.

            Ars UK is moderately better. Except for some bloke called H4rm0ny..

  12. hplasm
    Facepalm

    So-

    This confirms what we already suspected. Cameron is an empty resonant chamber, and his voice is supplied by idiots.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So- and his voice is supplied by idiots

      Macbeth, Act 5:

      "That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

      Who says predicting the future is difficult? Wm. S was channelling Cameron.

      1. davidp231

        Re: So- and his voice is supplied by idiots

        "Macbeth..."

        AARRGGHH! Hot potato, Orchestra Stalls, but Puck will make amends.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Hot potato, Orchestra Stalls, but Puck will make amends.

          Hugh Laurie is now too expensive to play Cameron in a future series of Blackadder. So is Stephen Fry. He'll have to play himself, because everybody else has standards.

    2. Primus Secundus Tertius

      Re: So-

      Cameron's speeches have traditionally been dreadful: one-sentence paragraphs full of assertions rather than rational argument. They look good on an autocue but not in print.

      But recently they have improved, maybe because Clare Foges has departed from No 10.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: So-

        "Cameron's speeches have traditionally been dreadful: one-sentence paragraphs full of assertions rather than rational argument. They look good on an autocue but not in print."

        Sadly they were good enough to get him elected party leader rather than David Davies. Or maybe it was because they were so mesmerised by Blair that the looked for the closest match they'd got.

  13. Camilla Smythe

    Pointy Bra'd Boss....

    Probably modelled herself on Claire Perry.

  14. Cincinnataroo

    What's going on here? Can these people really be that stupid?

    Maybe they're providing cover, to distract us, while something else is going on?

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Yes, something else is going on

      Our "democratically elected" governments are using every excuse to take away our dearly-bought freedoms, and because we are more interested in what's on TV after the news, we aren't getting our fat(tening) asses of the couch and shouting a resounding "STOP!" in the streets.

    2. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Unhappy

      A good day/week/month to bury bad news?

      "Maybe they're providing cover, to distract us, while something else is going on?"

      I believe they are, and that 'thing' is the end of diseases that can be treated with anti-biotics, which should literally scare the piss out of everyone.

      http://www.cdc.gov/features/AntibioticResistanceThreats/index.html

      http://www.irishtimes.com/news/health/hospitals-given-28-days-to-make-plan-for-antibiotic-resistance-1.2441826

      http://www.nhs.uk/news/2015/11November/Pages/Last-line-in-antibiotic-resistance-under-threat.aspx

      http://who.int/mediacentre/news/releases/2015/antibiotic-resistance/en/

      Ask yourself why this isn't on the mainstream news channels. Let me know if you come up with a good answer that isn't "The government are scared to tell people about something that will probably kill them or someone they love, and that there's absolutely fuck all they can do about it".

      1. Notas Badoff

        Re: A good day/week/month to bury bad news?

        I've been mentioning this to people for years. Cheap hamburgers bought with future deaths. Tens of thousand of tons of antibiotics pumped into livestocks each year.

        Med father would opine on whether supurating bone infections or gangrenous guts smelled worse. You betcha he thought antibiotics a blessing, having lost too many patients after too long struggles.

        Now we've lost again to short-sighted economic interests - farmers and pharmers.

        (BTW: if you are killing millions and millions, but without regard to race/class/nationality/etc, if that can't be called genocide, then what is it called?)

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon

          Re: A good day/week/month to bury bad news?

          "if that can't be called genocide, then what is it called"

          Depraved-heart mass murder.

          The killing of many people, indiscriminately, through negligent behavior.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: A good day/week/month to bury bad news?

            A massacre?

            Or a "bloody good start" depending on who is being killed...

        2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

          Re: A good day/week/month to bury bad news?

          Equal opportunity genocide?

          (Given the small percentage of difference in DNA between humans, the concept of different races is questionable, to say the least.)

  15. Ompaul

    The politicians new encryption

    This door has an invisible key,

    Invisible to you and me.

    It is locked now,

    How the crowd oohed and awed,

    When opened by a toddler,

    The lock was seen to be flawed.

    And so it is with encryption that keeps only the bad guys out!

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