back to article Dodgy amphetamines drive drug-crazed man on to pub roof

Lancashire cops have issued a warning to Blackburn speed-lovers after a "contaminated" batch of amphetamines prompted four cases of extreme aggression and adverse physical reaction. The dodgy whizz has resulted in four men ending up in hospital, suffering from convulsions, "dangerously high heart rates" and "a complete …

  1. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Climbing a tree, climbing onto a pub roof. Those guys really did get high.

  2. MacGyver

    Monkey Meth

    Aren't those the regular effects of meth just turned up to 11. Seems like a case of it doing its job too well.

    1. emmanuel goldstein

      Re: Monkey Meth

      you're probably right, they got an unusually pure batch. unlikely to be methamphetamine though. "speed" or "whiz" in the uk is generally amphetamine sulphate and of a pretty shite quality. my guess is someone ordered some quality speed paste from Holland or Germany, shared it with their mates and didn't take into account the much greater purity compared to the "pub grub" they would have been used to.

    2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Re: Monkey Meth

      Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wants his monkey-gland short story plot back. Title "Gur Nqiragher bs gur Perrcvat Zna" (ROT13).

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is in the same class as Cannabis?

    Thanks Theresa May for your helpful drug reclassification system.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This is in the same class as Cannabis?

      Agreed. Its a fucking joke.

      Yet tobabbcoo AND alcohol, both of which cost the public and the NHS in terms of damage, diseases and social problems, in orders of magnitude more than cannabis ever has and will are completely legal. I wonder why that....Ah, of course, TAX!!

      Telll you what then tax weed and make it available because EVERY study ever done has shown the same, David Knutt gave them all the evidence they could ever need but since when did politicos ever listen to reason.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This is in the same class as Cannabis?

        It's being debated in parliament on the 12th of October in response to a petition that got over 200k signatures.

        I doubt anything could change, but if you're interested, write to your MP.

      2. Mark 85

        Re: This is in the same class as Cannabis?

        Of course it's about tax. Everything is about either money or power. Here in the States, laws are changing and states are legalizing pot and collecting taxes. The ones that have done it are raking in the cash.

    2. Vic

      Re: This is in the same class as Cannabis?

      Thanks Theresa May for your helpful drug reclassification system.

      It was Jacqui Smith that reclassified it back to Class B...

      Vic.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PCP aka Angel Dust would be my guess based on symptoms and behaviour.

    1. Tom 7

      Re:PCP aka Angel Dust would be my guess based on symptoms and behaviour.

      I was going to say lager.

  5. Mephistro
    Coat

    "A separate man aged 30 climbed on to the roof of a pub."

    So the tree-climbing guy and this one were not conjoined twins. Pity, someone could have made some serious money in youtube with this.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They were contaminated with active ingredient as opposed to talcum powder.

    1. Wilseus

      "They were contaminated with active ingredient as opposed to talcum powder."

      That reminds me of an old Alexei Sayle quote, "It was really good stuff, you know, it was only about nine-fifths Harpic."

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Harpic...

        ... can make you go clean round the bend.

  7. DanielN
    Coat

    If only there was some sort of business that could sell safe, consistent doses of uncontaminated drugs.

    What would it look like if government was out to get us?

    1. emmanuel goldstein

      there is. it's called the dark web. vendors are rated by buyers and in my experience, this means the best possible purity, short of making it all legal and available from pharmacies. I'm not saying it makes taking drugs safe, but you at least get exactly what you ask for.

    2. thomas k

      There is but they keep it for themselves

      Manufactured by reputable pharmaceutical companies, everything from clinical mescaline to high quality methamphetamine, which they give to fighter pilots and other military personnel.

      The only American soldier court martialed during the 1st Gulf War was an orderly (or somesuch medical position) for handing out meth to his bored buddies without proper authorization.

    3. Crazy Operations Guy

      Would to help to defund ISIL / Al-Qaeda / cartels

      A lot of terrorist organizations get a very large percentage of their money off of the drug trade, with the rest being provided by the sex-slave trade. Allow for fully regulated companies to sell drugs, and now billions of dollars are staying in the country rather than funding terrorists / cartels. Require that a certain percentage of profits must go to rehab and community outreach type programs.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Would to help to defund ISIL / Al-Qaeda / cartels

        "A lot of terrorist organizations get a very large percentage of their money off of the drug trade, with the rest being provided by the sex-slave trade. Allow for fully regulated companies to sell drugs"

        ... and sex slaves?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminds me of when i was running lock ins in a Manchester pub in the 90's. At 2am there was a knock on the window from a regular wanting to be let in. Not normally an unusual occurrence in the pub trade except we were two floors up, The beggar had shinned up the drainpipe and yes he was high in more ways than one.

  9. frank ly

    It's confusing

    " ... rated as a Class-B drug in the UK, along with "barbiturates, cannabis, codeine ...".

    I can buy codeine anytime I like at any UK high street or supermarket pharmacy. The only problem is that they cut it with lots of paracetamol and that stuff is bad for your liver.

    1. John Tserkezis

      Re: It's confusing

      "I can buy codeine anytime I like at any UK high street or supermarket pharmacy. The only problem is that they cut it with lots of paracetamol and that stuff is bad for your liver."

      They're thinking of shutting that loophole down in Australia - to make it a prescription only medicine (only your doctor or similar quack can allow you to get it). Yep, paracetamol is a nasty drug. You know the kids these days use it to cure headaches. Things people do...

  10. Frumious Bandersnatch

    "Possession of Class-B goodies" plus

    "Sgt Pete Latham asked anyone with info on the bad narcotics to get in touch"

    Always kind of a problem asking for witnesses to come forward when they're technically guilty of a crime punishable by "up to 5 years in prison, an unlimited fine or both"

    Time to decriminalise yet? You never know, it might even help prevent people getting fake drugs like this if they could go somewhere and get them tested without getting banged up.

  11. Moosh
    Pint

    On the topic of legalisation...

    The main issue is that Governments want to save face and maintain an air of legitimacy. They don't want to public to see how, actually, they don't mean anything at all compared to what the public actually want. Everyone who wants to do drugs, I can assure you, already does them. They're not something you do "just because they're legal".

    There's no increased danger by legalizing drugs, and governments and healthcare organisations know this.

    1. BobRocket

      Re: On the topic of legalisation...

      'There's no increased danger by legalizing drugs, and governments and healthcare organisations know this.'

      There's always the danger you might be taking these substances for fun and in the eyes of the 'moral minority' that is always a sin.

      The Government have lied repeatedly to their electorate for generations over the issues of recreational drugs, if they were to admit to this it would bring to the fore the can of worms marked 'what other areas have they been economical with the truth' and no Government will countenance that.

      As a result, users health will continue to be at risk and non-users tax contributions will be inflated.

  12. JustWondering
    Happy

    Hmmm ...

    Looks like the price will be going up for this quality merchandise.

  13. Scroticus Canis
    Happy

    Was the bloke on the roof naked and muttering...

    "...It's all so fucking green!"

  14. Bota

    Being unbound from trivial things like social pressures I made the informed choice to try some drugs. Namely:

    Weed

    Opium

    Mushrooms

    Coke

    Speed

    Ecstasy

    Pure mdma (as opposed to tablet form)

    And found that speed was okay, you can drink forever and still walk but the next day you felt like death. It's a really shitty drug for council estates imo. Ecstasy is far more enjoyable, followed closely by opium and weed if gaming. After a 4 year career with it I knocked it all on the head and now only vape. Clean for 6ish years now, if not longer. Amazing what adults can do when not restricted by the law. I totally support a system like in Portugal where drugs are a health issue and not a criminal one.

  15. Sweep

    Drugs are fucking great.

    The post is required, and must contain letters.

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